should have known better, she succumbed momentarily to the desperate desire to get back to beach by the shortest route possible.
Even at the first stroke, as she raised her arm over her shoulder and thrust her fingers into the foam, she could feel her panic rising. She was a very strong swimmer, but her efforts got her nowhere and within seconds she was exhausted. It happens that quickly. A couple of mouthfuls of salt water, a few flailing strokes and suddenly the toughest mind becomes clouded with despair. It is at this point that swimmers either pull themselves together or drown. Brooke had pulled herself together.
She knew the rules. Never head into your trouble. Head out of it, sideways along the shore, or, if necessary, right out to sea. Rips are always relatively confined and once the swimmer is out of them, no matter how far from shore they may be by this time, they have the opportunity to recover their energies, consider their position and calmly make their way to safety. Brooke, like any decent swimmer, was capable of keeping herself afloat for hours and yet panic could have killed her in two minutes.
That was the lesson she reminded herself of now. Rips don’t kill people (breath), panic does (breath).
In his own way Bruce had drawn the same conclusion. By pretending to be in a movie, he had so far avoided being consumed and defeated by the horror of his surroundings. He had avoided panic. Just.
‘What’s this guy’s weakness?’ he said to himself, no longer in a movie, but in a script conference, reading over Wayne’s character breakdown, which had been prepared for him on Popcorn’s headed notepaper. ‘Why does he kill?’
‘He kills irrationally,’ Bruce answered himself.
Inside his head, Bruce leapt to his feet, the cool, decisive producer, waving the studio memo about triumphantly.
‘Here’s how it is, right? The guy’s stock in trade is murdering strangers, right? Well then, surely safety lies in forming some kind of relationship with him. Maybe these guys don’t kill people they know.’
All this had been running through Bruce’s head while Wayne was attempting to investigate Brooke’s breasts. In the hiatus that followed the silicone standoff, Bruce made his pitch.
‘I’d like to ask you something if that’s OK, Wayne. May I ask you something?’
‘I would be honoured, sir.’ Wayne appeared genuinely pleased.
‘Well, I guess I’m interested in what it’s like to kill someone.’
‘You want to kill someone? Hell, man, do it, it’s easy. Kill Brooke.’ Wayne took his pistol from his belt and opened the chamber. He removed all but one of the bullets from the drum and offered the weapon to Bruce. Bruce hesitated. One bullet. Could he achieve anything with that?
Wayne read his thoughts. ‘Take it, man. You don’t have to kill Brooke. You could kill me, or Scout here – ‘cepting, of course, if you did vengeance would be not be a long time acomin’.’
‘I don’t want to kill anyone, Wayne. I just wanted to know what it’s like.’
Wayne put the gun back in his belt and thought for a moment. This was a tough one. He’d never really thought about it before. It was like asking what’s it like to eat or to make love, it was just stuff you did.
‘You might as well ask what it’s like to make a movie, Bruce. It depends. On the circumstances, on the victim. I can tell you what it ain’t like. It ain’t like you show it. For one thing, there ain’t no music playing.’
‘No. I imagine not.’
Despite the terror of the situation Bruce felt slightly annoyed at this. People were always pointing out to him that in real life nobody died to a sexy backing track. Like they were saying something really original and astute. It was one of the Moral Majority’s favourite points. They always took particular exception to the rock soundtracks Bruce assembled to accompany the mayhem he depicted. They said it was manipulative. Well of course it was. Bruce put fuck music behind his love scenes too and nobody minded that.
‘I’ll tell you another thing,’ said Wayne. ‘It ain’t witty.’
Witty? It seemed a strange word for a truckstop hick like Wayne to use.
‘Like in
Of course Bruce remembered it. It had been a triumph of dark, brittle humour. ‘Filmmaking for a new generation’, he seemed to remember somebody saying, and if they hadn’t they should have done.
‘Now that was witty,’ Wayne said. ‘They put the guy’s hand in the blender and it whizzes up blood and stuff all over their suits, and one of the tough guys says, “Shit, this suit is Italian,” which was so funny because, like, the poor little cook’s screaming on account of he’s only got a spurting stump on the end of his arm and this guy is worrying about his suit!’
Wayne howled. ‘NeoGothic’, they’d called it, ‘postmodernist pulp noir’. Wayne just thought it was cool.
‘But that was only the start, right? It got better, because we knew that the boss man had told the two heavies to go to some real swank hotel to waste this black dude and they know that there is no way they are going to get into no swank hotel with all blood and pieces of bone and skin on their suits. But if they don’t make the hit, the boss will burn them. So they have to go to the dry cleaners and strip off to their underwear and the dry cleaner guy is this little faggot in tight shorts and he says, “That’s OK fellas, I’m used to shifting stubborn stains from delicate fibres. I have satin sheets,” which is a very funny line in itself, but it’s even funnier because we know that one of the killer guys just hates faggots, he hates them like a fuckin’ religion, so he just digs out this huge Magnum from his underpants and wastes the faggot dry cleaner guy completely, like half his head comes off. But then the other killer guy is real annoyed and says, “Shit, man, how we gonna clean our suits now?” So they have to try to figure out how to work the machine and when they get to the swanky hotel to kill the black dude their suits is all tiny like kids’ suits, because they shrunk. Now that was one classy scene, Bruce. Like I say, witty.’
Bruce did not reply. Normally when people enthusiastically repeated his work back to him, as they often did, he would say, ‘Thank you, that’s very kind,’ at the earliest opportunity to try and shut them up. But this time he said nothing. There was an awful fascination in just how well this terrible man knew his work.
‘I don’t know how many times Wayne watched that movie,’ said Scout.
‘A shit load of times, let me tell you,’ Wayne added. ‘It said on the poster that the
Bruce was getting nowhere. He had been attempting to get to know his persecutor, to get inside his head. All he got was his own imagination quoted back at him.
For a moment Bruce remembered something from before. Mirrors. Something about mirrors. Then that thought, too, was interrupted.
Buzzzzz… Buzzzzz.
They all jumped, even Wayne. After all it was only seven a.m.
Buzzzzz. The entryphone intercom on the wall was not going to shut up.
‘Now who’s that coming calling, Bruce?’ Wayne took up his gun. ‘It’s Oscars morning. Everybody knows you’re liable to have a head sorer than a hog’s ass on a country farm. You ain’t pushed no alarm button or nothing, have you, Bruce? Because if you have, I’ll kill you inside’a one single breath.’
‘No, Christ, no!’ Bruce said quickly. ‘I think it’s my wife, my ex. We have a settlement to discuss. Christ, she’s an hour and a half early.’
Scout squealed with excitement. First Brooke Daniels, now Farrah Delamitri. It was like being in her very own edition of
‘It’s a figure of speech,’ Bruce replied ‘I was quoted out of context.’
The buzzer sounded again, more insistently this time.
Bruce turned to Wayne. ‘So I leave it, right?’
There was very little love lost between Bruce and his nearly exwife, and on occasion he had wished many horrid things upon her, but inviting her in to visit with the Mall Murderers went beyond any desire for revenge he might have had. Unfortunately the decision wasn’t up to him.
‘You’ve made an appointment, you keep it,’ Wayne said. ‘I guess she can see your big old Italian Lamborfuckin’homosexual parked out in the drive. She knows you’re here and I don’t want her getting suspicious about nothing.’
Again the buzzer.
‘Look, surely we don’t need to bring anybody else into this. I mean…’
