It was my turn to strike a pose.
'I did it all for my kingdom!' I declared.
'I'm sure that'll be a great comfort to your next of kin,' he leered.
He swung at me. I took the blow full in the chest, and remembered to create the illusion of gallons of blood spurting out of the wound. I clutched my chest. I wavered back and forth on the rail.
Then, I fell.
The crowd gasped.
Dropping any distance is no problem for a magician. I was never in any danger as I plummeted toward the courtyard. There were plenty of guards waiting to surround my body. I just figured I would lie there playing dead while Aahz proclaimed his love for the princess, who was being restored to her rightful place on the throne of Foxe-Swampburg. The guards would cover my face with a cloak and carry me inside, as we had arranged in our script.
But instead of the guards, a circle of faces wearing black headcloths and face masks leered down at me. The snick! of Cake servers being drawn was a chilling sound.
'You evil man! We are going to teach you what it means to attempt the life of a Cake Master!' Ninja hissed at me.
'No, wait!' I protested, holding up my hands. 'I'm her friend!'
'Hiayah!' screamed Ninja.
'Hiayah!' yelled the other Cake Masters.
'Kid? Kid? Skeeve? Can you hear me? Open your eyes.' Aahz's voice was full of concern.
I opened my eyes. The light hurt for a minute, but it receded to a single oil lamp burning on the table beside me. It lit up Aahz's worried face. I grinned weakly at him. He thumped me on the chest. He grinned back, showing his gleaming mouthful of fangs.
'Good for you, kid,' he said. 'Glad to see you back among the living.'
Practically everybody I knew was peering down at me. I tried to sit up, but my chest felt like a thousand Centaurs had galloped across it. I groaned.
'What happened?' I asked.
Aahz poked a finger toward Ninja and her friends, now unmasked. The guards held them tightly. Pookie, Aahz's cousin, held a weird-looking wand on them. They looked terrified.
'You have one crazy fan club,' Pookie said. 'Why didn't you just tell me you had found some more people who wanted to kill you?'
'Are you all right, Mister Skeeve?' Princess Hermalaya asked. She and Matfany were wrapped in each other's arms. 'I heard all that screaming? And there were all these people in black down there just slicing you into little ribbons. I sicced my guards on them, but they cut them up, too? My wizard had to lean over the rail and zap everybody good.'
I felt my head. It was still attached, but there were thick bandages wrapped around it. Once I had noticed those, I saw the ones strapped around my arms and hands, too.
'What do you want done to them?' Aahz asked, his eyes glowing fiercely. 'Name it, Skeeve. Anything from a good spanking to shredding them nerve by nerve. I'll enjoy it. You name it. Your enemy's my enemy.'
'They're not enemies,' I said. It hurt to move. 'They're friends. They're Cake Masters.'
'Cake Masters?' Hermalaya exclaimed. 'Why, what are they doing here?'
'Helping you, or so we thought,' Ninja said, woefully. 'Mister Skeeve, we are so sorry. We just wanted to avenge a sister of our craft!'
'Why, that's just so nice! I have met so few other Cake Masters?'
Ninja and the others bowed to Hermalaya. 'What layer are you?' she asked.
'Well, I just made twelfth,' Hermalaya said.
Kroka indicated Ninja. 'She's the Topping of our order. She's nineteenth.'
'I am so impressed!' Hermalaya bowed back. 'But it wasn't nice of you to beat up Mister Skeeve.'
'We just can't apologize enough! But how could we recognize him when he was dressed up as that villain?'
Matfany cleared his throat. 'I beg your pardon, ladies!'
Ninja looked sheepish. 'Are you going to be okay, Skeeve?'
'I'm all right,' I said, trying to be upbeat because they seemed so worried. I looked up at Aahz. 'Did it work?'
'The crowd loved it,' Aahz said, gleefully. 'No problem accepting Hermalaya's return or the new man in town. They were a little confused when your spells fizzled, leaving me there on the balcony with her with my bare face hanging out, but luckily by then Matfany was done with his tint job. He just stepped right in.'
Matfany looked a little uneasy, but he seemed proud of his new fur color. He was now dark brown with gold high-lights. The whole effect made him look noble and hand-some. I noticed he was no longer wearing his glasses.
'Ears and Pelt number six,' Massha said, proudly. 'You'll only have to touch it up every six weeks.'
Hermalaya touched the curls on the top of his head. 'It looks so nice. I don't know how to thank all of you for all you have done for us?'
I grinned. 'Ask us to the wedding, of course.'
'Being the boss is not as easy as it looked.'
I combed confetti out of my hair and threw myself down in my desk chair.
'That was a great wedding,' I said, happily. Gleep galloped over to me for petting. 'Here, boy!' I had brought him a roasted squab from the feast table.
'Skeeve, you have to make him work for it, or he won't learn,' Nunzio said, taking the meat from my hand. 'C'mon, boy, sit up! Beg!'
Obediently, Gleep rocked back on his haunches and pawed the air. Nunzio tossed the treat to him, which he downed in one gulp. Gleep dropped down again and gave me a wink when no one else could
see it. He wasn't going to give away our little secret.
'What a terrific party,' Tananda said, spinning until the dark purple skirts of her low-cut dress spread out like a bell. 'I think I danced with every Fox in Foxe-Swampburg.'
'They just couldn't get enough of you, Little Sister,' Chumley said proudly. He removed the festoons of ribbons that had been wound around him by the enthusiastic party-goers. Gleep ate them as they hit the floor.
'Didn't the bride look wonderful?' Bunny asked, her eyes shining She leaned back in her chair and kicked her feet happily. Her party dress of brilliant blue silk shimmered around her magnificent figure. 'And what a Cake! Ninja and the others did an incredible job.'
'They wanted to make amends for nearly making layer cake out of Skeeve here,' Guido said.
'That's the kind of cake I wan! when I get married,' Pookie said. We all stared at her. 'What are you all looking at?'
If she was embarrassed, she managed to cover it by swatting the next Humbee that came whizzing through the office. It fell to the ground in two pieces. Gleep loped over to eat them both.
'The best part,' I said, with satisfaction, 'was when Hermalaya and Matfany went to the throne room together for the first time to accept the accolades of their subjects, and the doors actually opened up for him.'
'About time,' Nunzio said. 'He was a decent guy.'
Massha fanned her pink cheeks with a shocking turquoise feather fan. Her dress, yards of filmy chiffon,
