'What legacy?'
Samwise waved descriptive arms. 'This will become the valley of the celebrities.'
'These monuments will ensure that your name is remembered for all eternity. Those who have questions can read the legend that is you in the very stone. Your legacy. Your value to the future. As you want it told.' He reached into a pocket and came out with a scroll. 'Here. Let me show you a few samples that some of my customers have ordered for their own inscriptions.' He unspooled it, and it grew lengthwise and widthwise until it was larger than the Imp himself. I peered over Aahz's shoulder at the rows of eagles, dogs, cats, dancing girls, men in headcloths, musicians, suns, moons, stars, and many more esoteric symbols that would not have been out of place in a grimoire. 'See here? Denby's a second under-stonemason from Bolder.' Samwise perused the symbols and cackled to himself. 'Oh, yes, he pulled out all the stops. Yes, you would think from reading this that he ruled half a dimension and had a dozen wives and a fortune the size of the Gnomes!'
Aahz frowned at the rows of pictographs.
'I can't read that.'
Samwise reached into the other pocket and came out with a small, handsomely bound leather book for each one of us. 'Here's a lexicon to the Ghordish language. Each sign can stand for a letter, a word or even a whole paragraph. You write out the text of what you want on the sides of your stone, and my scribes will render it into glyphs. You can say whatever you want. And most people do.'
I looked at the first symbol, the image of a kneeling Ghord wearing a short kilt on one side of its body and a long dress on the other, one hand waving in the air, the other making a fist. On the top of its head was a spindly- legged chair. The translation next to it read, 'In the name of Oris, the Ghordess Who is Her Own Brother, I commend to you this male or female who is as lofty above all fellow beings as the clouds are in the sky. How strong and mighty is this male or female, as powerful as the earth!'
The next image was of a Ghord female with a cow's head topped by a wild coiffure.
'Hail to the reader of these precepts in the name of Hathed, She Who Looks As if She Slept in a Field, who commends to you the heroic soul known as (Your Name Here), whose doughty deeds must be proclaimed throughout the land as the finest of all (Your Profession Here) who ever practiced this honorable skill.'
I skimmed a few more of the glyphs, but found them to be more of the same, some longer, some shorter. I admired the way the Ghords had managed to get all that information into a single symbol. Since their primary means of noting down information was hammer and chisel on stone, I supposed it was a necessary timesaver. I glanced between the lexicon and Denby's autobiography. On a quick study, I observed that Samwise wasn't telling us the half of what Denby had to say about himself, but in an impressive economy of space.
'You should certainly have this one on your stone, Aahz,' Samwise said, pointing to a hawk in a loincloth with one wing extended. 'The god Chorus is the Ghord of acclaim. Having that in your inscription really tells people what an important guy you were ... I mean, are.'
That reminded me all over again what the purpose of the pyramid was. As astonishing as the view was, I still felt uneasy about being around dead people all the time.
'Aahz, this doesn't really sound like a good idea. ...'
But Aahz wasn't listening to me. 'What about an offer in cash? Will that bring the price down a little? How much?'
'Well, you know how my operation works, Aahz,' Samwise said. 'I can arrange for the artisans to begin work on your stone immediately, but I can't build a penthouse until the rest of the pyramid is filled in below it. No matter how much magik I use, the least cataclysm will bring the whole thing down on our heads. So, are you willing to help me find clients?'
'For a commission?' Aahz asked, one eyebrow up.
'Naturally.'
'How much?'
'Oh, we don't need to discuss that now.' 'You don't think I'm going to buy a Pegasus in a poke, do you? Twenty percent? Fifteen?' 'The standard commission.'
Aahz sneered. 'Oh, ten percent. Why didn't you say that? It's an insult.'
'Too little?' Samwise screeched. 'When I'm giving you the chance of a lifetime?'
I tapped him on the shoulder. 'Uh, Aahz, you said you didn't want to be involved in any pyramid schemes. You said ...'
'Save it, kid,' Aahz said sharply, throwing off my hand.
'But, Aahz, look at it from my point of view. There are over a million stones in a pyramid. If I allow you a ten percent commission on each one, you could end up making money. Plenty of it.' Samwise smiled as my friend stopped to think. 'In no time at all, you would have a free stone plus a weekly paycheck on top of your share of M.Y.T.H., Inc.'s fee. Now, how does that sound?'
Aahz hated to give up without a fight even when he was getting everything he wanted. He glowered for a moment. 'What's the catch?'
'No catch! Twenty-five thousand gold pieces for the top stone in Phase Two, reduced by a percentage for each new prospect you bring me who buys in.' Samwise held out a hand. Aahz clasped it.
'It's a deal. I think I'm gonna like spending eternity in your little penthouse, pal,' Aahz said, with a huge grin. 'Yeah, I like the view. Right here, you get the best of the sunset, and probably the sunrise, too. You ought to get a magician to cast illusions of the stones in place. I can't wait to see mine right here.' He held up his hands, fingers forming a frame. 'Of course, four sides isn't going to be big enough to contain all of my accomplishments, but I can abridge them. Kid, which ones should I have illuminated by the light of the setting sun with those mountains framing them right here?'
'There's only one wee little teensy problem with that, Aahz,' Samwise said, edging around carefully so that he was standing behind me. 'You can't have this one.'
'What?' Aahz roared. He lunged in Samwise's direction. The Imp ducked and sidestepped further. The only way at him was through me. I lifted my hands helplessly. Aahz backpedaled. His eyes glowed
yellow. 'Why the hell not?'
Samwise's voice was small and apologetic. 'I'm sorry, Aahz, but this place is already spoken for.' 'By you?'
The Imp waved his hands. 'No, no, mine will be a much more humble place. Besides, I couldn't afford the write-down. This one is earmarked for the Pharaoh Suzal, she who rules this fair land.'
Aahz's shoulders slumped visibly. 'Why didn't you say that in the first place?'
Samwise sighed. 'Between you, me and the benben, Aahz, it was the only way I could get permission to build on this half of the Zyx Valley. After getting snubbed by Diksen, she wasn't in the mood to grant any more licenses. I had to come up with some serious bribes, let me tell you, but when I talked to the great lady herself, there was absolutely only one thing that I could offer that would even keep her from having me pitched out of the palace on my tail, and you're standing on it.'
'Deal's off,' Aahz said, turning to stomp down the invisible staircase. I could feel the magical structure shake under the force of his footsteps. He was really upset. 'I don't settle for second best. I doubt M.Y.T.H., Inc., can help you, pal. Good luck. C'mon, kid.'
I have to admit I was relieved. I followed Aahz willingly, readying the spell to take us home.
Samwise, seeing twenty-five thousand gold pieces and his business consultants departing on a pair of green-scaled feet, hurried to head us off.
'Don't despair, my good friend. Don't go! This is only
Phase One of my grand project. Phase Two will be even larger. In fact,' he drew close to us and dropped his voice to a near-whisper, 'it will be substantially taller than the Pharoah Suzal's pyramid.'
Aahz narrowed his eyes. 'How much taller?'
'Sixty feet,' Samwise said. He pulled a papyrus out of his pocket and glanced around hastily before opening it. 'It will be the biggest one in the project. The location is slightly less ideal. I had to give this one the finest site since it was scaled down from my original plans. Cost overruns, you know. But the next one—oh, yes, the next one will be the most impressive. Watch this.' He took a small wand out of his pocket and waved it. At once, the bleak desert filled with buildings. I counted about twenty pyramids. Each one was constructed of the blocks we saw being made below us. A skin of smooth, clear crystal covered them creating the four-sided facade I had admired in Diksen's pyramid. In fact, Diksen's was still visible beyond the points of two of the buildings to the east. It didn't
