'I'm done with oversized monuments and grand plans for the afterlife. Instead, when I go, I just want to disappear and leave people wondering.' He bared those four-inch teeth in a grin that would make anyone cringe.
'If that's so,' Bunny asked, 'then why did I just get a bill
of lading for having to warehouse two giant chunks of rock, F.O.B. Aegis?'
'Two chunks of rock?' I asked.
Aahz waved a hand. 'Maybe Gurn broke my benben before he transported it here. I like to think of it as a souvenir. I don't intend to need it for a long time to come.'
'So, M.Y.T.H., Inc., no longer has a problem with curses?' Guido asked. 'We don't have to worry about unsatisfied customers comin' here lookin' for satisfaction?'
'No more curses, no more problems,' I assured him. 'All the stones Aahz sold for Phase Two have been worked into Phase One, giving it a 92% fill rate. Samwise is thrilled. He doesn't really need us any longer. He said he owes us.'
'I already sent him his bill,' Bunny said.
'He had better cough up in a timely fashion, or he is going to require one of his own tombs,' Guido said, bringing his eyebrows down over his nose. 'He caused us all to waste a lot of very valuable time.'
'You sure gave Gurn a tough time when we were tied up,' I said. 'Were you really that confident that Diksen would have to ask for help getting rid of the curse?'
'No,' Aahz admitted, 'but what good would it have done to start panicking and pleading? Gurn would just have loved that. I keep telling you, kid, reputation is as much a part of being an effective magician as the actual chops.'
'I know,' I said.
'How's the Pharaoh feeling?' I asked Chumley, once again restored to his oversized chair beside that of his sister, Tananda.
'She is restored to her former glory, thanks to you and Aahz,' the Troll said. He had cast aside his linen headdress with a grateful sigh. 'Though she will miss seeing Aahz, she has come to insist that Gurn attend her nearly every waking moment.'
'Poor Gurn,' I said, 'but it'll keep him from turning up when you least expect him.'
'I am afraid the Pharaoh's fascination is going to halve his efficiency,' Chumley agreed. 'But if it keeps his nose out of other people's business, it will be a good outcome of that curse.'
'It's kind of a pretty nose now,' I said, grinning.
'Looks aren't everything,' Tananda said. 'I think his devotion to Suzal is beautiful.'
'Yeah,' Aahz said. 'You can't buy loyalty like that. Right, partner?' He raised his glass to me and took a healthy swig.
'Right,' I said, happily, toasting him back. The others joined in.
Privately, I resolved to go looking for that warehouse where Aahz had had his stone delivered. I wanted a look inside. I had more than a slight suspicion that the papyrus I had signed was so Aahz could order a stone block for me. I didn't want to tell him what I guessed. He obviously wanted it to be a surprise. Moreover, I wanted to check and see if that block I had seen Ay-Talek working on with all the details that were so close to the story of my own life was being stored next to the big triangular monument that Aahz had selected for himself. It was nice to know he thought that much of me. But I wouldn't say
anything. That's what loyalty meant to me.
'Next time, warn me when I start to get too emotionally involved in a project,' Aahz said. 'Anyone hungry? I'm in the mood to splurge.'
'You?' Chumley asked, astonished.
'Yeah. Dinner's on . . . Samwise.' Aahz held up a jingling purse. 'I got my commissions out of him for the sales I made. How about it, Skeeve? Want to go out and get some food? It won't be as fancy as Le Mouton Suprisee, but it'll be edible.'
'Gee, Aahz, I would love to, but I've got a date.'
'A date?'
'Aaaahhhh!' my partners chorused. Bunny and Tananda looked pleased.
'With the pretty secretary with the black hair?' Aahz winked.
I was abashed. 'Uh, no. She and I don't have anything in common.' I didn't want to tell him how much I had humiliated myself with Matt. 'I'm going to see Aswana. She's a lot of fun.'
Aahz raised an eyebrow. 'See-Ker's healer? I didn't think she was your type.'
'She was really nice to me when I fell into Necropolis. I thought I'd go back and take her out for a great dinner.'
Bunny and Tananda exchanged approving nods.
'Fine, kid,' Aahz said, with a lazy wave. 'Don't do anything I wouldn't do.'
'Gee, Aahz,' I said innocently. 'I wouldn't think of it.'
I bamfed discreetly out of the room.
Dear Readers,
I know. Ironic, isn't it?
Bob and I had a few different plots we ran by the publishers back in mid-2006 as to what would happen next in the Myth-Adventures. The one we wanted to do first they considered too immediately topical, and wanted this one instead.
For those of you who don't know the backstory, Robert Asprin, creator of this series, and my writing partner on it for the last six books and an anthology, passed away suddenly on May 22, 2008 in his home in the French Quarter of New Orleans, LA.
Bob was a remarkable person, who when he was inspired strewed creativity broadcast. He had a lot of talents, all of which he was willing to share with others. His second ex-wife, Lynn Abbey, co-founder with him of the groundbreaking shared-world anthology Thieves' World (and now its sole proprietor/operator) said that he was the best first teacher that you could ever have. He gained new interests the way that a magpie picks up shiny things. His eclectic interests informed his literature, which is why you find the Myth Adventures full of references to the Road pictures featuring Bob Hope and Bing
Crosby, the Marx Brothers, Hollywood musicals, gambling, game shows, Star Wars, the writings of Poul Anderson, Gordon R. Dickson, Damon Runyon and
many others, on top of sly characterizations (we call them tuckerizations in American SF literature for their founder, Wilson 'Bob' Tucker) of people he knew.
Several years ago, he and I began to work together. A lot of theories abound as to how and why we did. The truth is we thought it would be fun, and it would help break Bob out of the writers block he had suffered for years. Our first collaboration was not a Myth book at all, but a stand-alone magical spy adventure called Licence Invoked. I can't say I was the reason Bob started writing again, but I feel I helped prime the pump, as did Peter Heck, who stepped in to give Bob a hand on the bestselling series Phule's Company. Most of the credit goes to a good friend of Bob's, Bill Fawcett, tuckerized by Bob in Mything Persons as Vilhelm, the vampire with the desk full of telephones (and now my husband). Bill encouraged Bob to get back on the keyboard again. He helped Bob create other collaborative projects, such as with Linda Evans on the Time Scout novels, with Esther Friesner on E. Godz, and with Eric del Carlo on NO Quarter.
At the time of his death, Bob had just published a new fantasy series, Dragons. The first book, Dragons Wild, had gained rave reviews. The second book was complete and ready for copy-editing. The publisher was prepared to offer a new and lucrative contract for two new Phules as well as more Myth Adventures. Our Hollywood agent was talking to a couple of producers who were interested in the series. The day he died Bob was just about to be picked up to attend a major SF convention in Columbus, OH, where he and I were slated as the literary guests of honor.
