“Do you mind if I change out of this dress into something casual?” I lifted the bag and tilted my head toward the fitting room.
“Not at all.”
Because it made Shannon happy, I put on the jeans, white tank, and black vest, along with the necklace—the exact outfit she’d recommended. The good leather sandals Escobar had bought me were stamped, MADE IN SPAIN, and they went with anything.
Shan popped the trunk and I folded my clothes in my obnoxiously floral suitcase. There was room for the stuff I’d taken to Catemaco too, and I could probably roll up my duffel bag. It would fit in the corner there. Staring down, I saw the remnants of my broken life, and it saddened me.
“It’ll be okay,” Shannon said quietly.
I gave her an impulsive hug around the shoulders. “I know. I got you, babe.”
“Please tell me you’re not gonna sing.”
“How do you even know that one, anyway?”
“Oldies radio,” she said with an exaggerated shudder.
“Sonny and Cher were before my time too.” I got in the Charger. “Let’s go to Target. There’s one a mile and a half up the road.”
“What else can you possibly need?”
I sighed. One thing I never bought used. “Underwear.”
“Right.”
We didn’t linger. I hated big stores with fluorescent lighting and people wandering around who seemed angry to answer your questions. Sometimes dealing with customers could be nightmarish, but I loved helping people find stuff.
My phone rang on the way out of the store. I peered at the caller ID—unknown number. With some trepidation, I answered, “Hello?”
“
I agreed to wire her some money via Western Union. There was a place she could pick up the cash near her home. Shan and I took care of that, and then I called back with Chuch and Eva’s address; Tia agreed to send the books overnight. I thanked her profusely and hung up, relieved beyond words.
The day was half gone by that point, so we stopped for barbecue at a little dive on Lafayette that Chuch liked. I fed Butch tidbits from my plate, and he showed his appreciation by licking my fingers. I gave him a drink in the ladies’ room and then we paused for him to do business on the scrubby trees that landscaped the place.
I sent a text message to Booke, letting him know I was all right and in Texas. Shannon started the car and backed out of the restaurant lot. I was glad we’d been able to eat our sandwiches without the car exploding, like it had with Chance and me the last time I was in Texas. I didn’t know about going back to Chuch and Eva’s place, but maybe I could use the grimoires to set rune wards, not just herbal ones.
“We should get the decals now,” Shannon said.
I nodded agreement.
After that, I had only one thing left to do now: explain the devil’s bargain I had made with Escobar. I wasn’t looking forward to that conversation.
Dark Tides Rising
By the time we got back, everyone sat waiting for us, including Jesse. Chuch swept me into a big bear hug, nearly crushing Butch, who gave an indignant yap. The mechanic held me at arm’s length to get a better look at me, but there was no masculine awareness in his gaze; for Chuch, the sun rose and set with Eva. He was like a big brother, and God knew I could use his uncomplicated affection right then. Then he hugged me a second time for good measure.
“You’re a sight for sore eyes,
“Not since we left Kilmer.” At first, I’d been crushed that he wouldn’t even try to prove himself, that he offered only empty words. But I’d had months of silence to come to terms with it. Kel had proved a remarkable help in that regard. At least now I had someone new to miss—depressing thought.
“Well, he’s working on it. Trust me on that.”
Jesse’s sun-streaked hair was disheveled, his jaw unshaven. In faded Levi’s and a blue-and-white-striped dress shirt, he looked weary and rumpled. I didn’t know whether I’d contributed to that, or if it had just been a bad day at work. God knew his job wasn’t easy on the best of days.
“I didn’t want to get into it on the phone,” he said, “but I lost you.”
“What do you mean?”
“I can’t feel you anymore. Last week, you went quiet.”
“You must’ve been worried.”
He closed his eyes, and his lashes curled up against his cheeks, shining gold in the lamplight. “Until you answered the phone this morning, I thought you were dead.”
“I’m sorry.” The words seemed pitiful and inadequate.
Only then did he move, sweeping me up into a bonecrushing embrace. Jesse buried his face in my hair, and I could feel him shaking. This wasn’t my need or my desire influencing him. I wrapped my arms around his waist and rubbed his back.
“God, I’m glad to see you.” The low fervency in his voice touched me.
Before, I’d always possessed a kernel of doubt about him, suspecting he wouldn’t be attracted to me if we hadn’t shared a weak moment where my sex drive got the better of me. I’d always secretly supposed he’d lose interest in me without my emotions for feedback. More telling, he didn’t even comment on the fact that I was thinner. I’m not sure he even noticed.
Despite my distrust, this was real. And I could build a life with Jesse Saldana. Maybe he didn’t have to give up everything to prove he wanted to be with me. I doubted I would’ve moved of my own volition, but since I had no shop in Mexico, Shannon and I could rebuild here. She’d said she didn’t want to settle down in Texas, but once we got the thrift store going, we could travel.
I knew the score. I could spend my life alone, pining for the impossible. Nothing would ever change as long as I clung to unattainable dreams and distant memories. It was ridiculous to think my life would alter in any meaningful way when I kept making the same mistakes. I was familiar enough with my own weaknesses to realize that if I let myself, I’d fall in love with Kel, given the least encouragement. Or I could wise up, face the facts, and make a different choice—a conscious one this time, not left to messy, desperate impulses.
