Devil's Punch

“You’re…you.”

“Shit. It happened again?”

“Yeah,” he said softly.

“How long was I out?”

The days I’d bargained from Sybella kept vanishing, thanks to this bitch queen in my head. That might even be part of her plan. Each time she helped me, she also stole time. I hated her. If I could cut her out with a knife, I would. Unfortunately, that would result in a self-lobotomy. She was bonded to me in a way no surgery could remove, the ultimate conjoined twin.

“About eight hours, I think.”

A night’s sleep.

He went on. “The queen took over after we left Club Hell. She managed the meeting with the Dohan. Eventually you passed out. Greydusk has been making excuses as to why nobody can see you, hiding the fact that the queen is not herself.”

Fuck.

“I didn’t even know…” I dug my knuckles into my eyes, fighting the urge to cry.

How could I check her when I couldn’t even see her coming? Hopeless. I was never going to get Shannon out of here. Worse, Chance and I would be stuck. He didn’t love the demon queen, and he’d end up her slave.

He perched on the edge of the bed and reached for me. I resisted at first because I couldn’t doubt I was bad for him. But he persisted, and I was weak. I curled into his arms, rested my head on his chest.

“I can see it,” he said. “Now that I know what to look for. Your eyes change.”

“Change how?”

“They go black, like your pupils expand until there’s no more iris.”

“Freaky?”

“Fuck, yes.”

“I’m sorry about all of this,” I whispered. “I wish you hadn’t come.”

“You didn’t know what would happen when you came through the gate. And I’m not sorry at all. It’s kind of nice that you need me again.”

I choked out a laugh. “Even if it means I’m possessed?”

He offered a wry half smile. “It’s a…challenge. But at least I can tell how I should act, depending on your eyes. The queen likes the submissive stuff.”

My stomach knotted. If he told me I’d tied him up and whipped him and then fucked him with the queen driving, I might be sick. Not because that wouldn’t be okay under other circumstances, but the idea of my body being used without my consent? The churning started up again.

“Did we—”

“No.” He reassured me. “The royal aura she uses to scare the shit out of everyone takes a lot out of you.”

“So we’re inside the Dohan compound and they don’t know I’m not…her.”

That could pose complications. The Drinkers would know immediately that I was just a human, not their scary demon queen. Which meant we needed to sneak out, provided we’d learned what we came for. Otherwise they’d hold me hostage, like Sybella had intended, and I couldn’t count on them fucking with Butch again to give me some leverage. In those circumstances, I’d have to petition for her help, and the more I let her drive, the less chance she’d ever go away. With each possession, I felt as though I lost a little of myself, like I was more hers and less mine.

“It’s not a wash,” Chance said then. “You got the info we came for.”

“That would help if I remembered any of it,” I muttered.

“I’ll fill you in.”

He did.

As it turned out, the Dohan had taken Shannon because they wanted Sheol to change. They wanted greater access to the human realm due to their particular appetites. Demon blood permitted them to survive, but it was like eating wheatgrass when you wanted chocolate cake. The Drinkers had thought if they brought my best friend here, I would follow. And then the queen would ascend, taking her place ruling over the castes, and she would regulate gate use, as she had done in ages past. Being the favored children who had been instrumental in drawing her back to Sheol, they would, of course, benefit from her triumphant return.

“At least,” Chance went on, “that was the initial plan. But the Hazo threw a wrench in the works.”

“Yeah, I was wondering why they gave Shannon away.” I wrapped my arms around him, desperate to warm the chill inside me. “I mean, maybe they just wanted to get me here and they didn’t care what happened to her after that. And so they gave her to the Hazo to play with?”

The tears came. I felt so weak right then, so broken. It seemed like it’d be par for the course if Shan was suffering in my stead, if Caim tortured her with all the anger I’d instilled. He couldn’t expect to get revenge on the demon queen, after all.

“That’s not why.” He stroked my back in soothing strokes while I cried. I’d never done it gracefully or prettily, but we were so far past any of that at this point.

“Then tell me!”

“Apparently there was some old debt between the castes. The Hazo demanded Shannon in payment.”

“Because Caim wanted to be sure he got to see me again,” I said bitterly.

“That’s what Azon thinks anyway.”

I nodded and managed to stop the waterworks. “We have unfinished business. But I wonder why the Dohan kept her in the Barrens instead of bringing her here.”

Chance smiled, but it was a little unnerving, full of love, but also…fear. “She asked that question too.”

The bile rose again. This time I couldn’t stop it. I puked into a decorative urn. He didn’t approach me, a fact for which I felt thankful. Afterward, I staggered to the bathroom and rinsed my mouth repeatedly. Above the basin, I stared at the woman in the mirror. She had dyed red hair with tawny streaks and a pale, thin face. Below her eyes, she had deep bruises, as if she hadn’t slept in weeks. This looked like a woman on the edge, as if she were about to break for the last time. And maybe I wouldn’t have minded so much if the final fracture didn’t mean losing myself forever.

“Tell me the truth,” I said, coming to the lavatory threshold. “Are you hanging in because you promised you would? Because you don’t want to let me down?”

He laughed softly. “Do you think I’m the kind of guy who keeps a promise beyond all common sense?”

“Maybe.”

“Uh-uh. My mama didn’t raise a fool. I believe we can save Shannon, keep you from going all demon queen forever, and get the hell out of Dodge.”

“Nothing like dreaming big.” But his optimism was contagious. “No matter how long the odds.”

He flashed his beautiful smile. “Hey, I’m the king of long odds, baby.”

Yeah, you are. I’m not. I’m the queen of coming up snake eyes.

“That’s certainly true.”

“Once, I’m sure you would’ve said there was no way in hell you’d ever give me a second chance. Yet here we are.”

I grinned back. “In hell. Yeah, you’re a funny guy.”

The love in his tiger’s eyes wrecked me. “I’ll play the clown if it keeps you smiling. I’ll even be the queen’s jester.” There was a shadow in his face that made me wonder just what the hell had passed between him and the queen while I was locked in an airtight box in my own head.

“Don’t say that.”

“Can’t help it,” he whispered. “Haven’t you figured it out yet? There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for you.”

Hearing that should have felt amazing. I should’ve been on top of the world and flinging myself into his arms. Instead, a chill ran down my spine. Don’t love me like that, I wanted to scream at him. It’s not safe. It’s not wise.

“Something’s different,” I said. “What did she say to you?”

Before Chance could reply, Greydusk tapped on the door.

“Come in,” I called.