Toilette, Margaret reflected, now there’s a respectable word, for was she not a respectable lady?
She felt as if her husband had been an iron band around her body and now, free of its constraint, she was shaking to pieces as the train roared overhead.
Margaret shivered. One of the newspapers had as its front page an artist’s impression of the calamity, men, women and children falling into the bleak December sea like so many brittle leaves. Although almost a year ago, she could not rid her mind of that image.
And what of Sir Thomas, she wondered? What pictures were frozen inside the cold obstruction of his mind?
She had experienced an impersonal kind of compassion for the man despite the secrets he had concealed. A dutiful pity. But he had shut her from his life and locked her out like a poor beast in the rain. Year by year, the little wife had withered and dwindled while he and his true love kissed and fondled to heart’s content.
Now, Mistress Bouch was free. Free to destroy herself in any way she saw fit.
The minister closed his bible with a dull, righteous thud and Margaret became conscious that she was the focus of many eyes.
For a moment she was confused then remembered the protocol of interment. The widow knelt down, groped for a portion of the damp, sodden earth and cast it into the grave before her. The muddy mass landed on the polished oaken lid, stuck to one of the brass fittings, then slid slowly out of sight towards oblivion.
She hoped sincerely that would do the trick.
And it did. She watched the others follow suit, the rain herding in their thrown clods like a drover, and then the pallbearers began to drift away. Just like her mind.
Margaret had felt such a welcome separation from reality since her lord and master had died and prayed most earnestly for its continuance.
In the meantime, all ceremonies were to be observed and she would play her part. They would all reconvene at the house in Bernard Street; a little too near the Leith docks for some, but Sir Thomas had it purchased as his base in Edinburgh because he liked to walk to the sea and gaze upon that which he planned to conquer.
Reconvene. She could just see it now. Tasteful funeral meats would be passed from hand to hand, malt whisky raised to lips, not the grieving widow’s of course, and then after a respectful time the mourners would take their pious departure, surreptitiously scraping heels on the kerbing stone outside lest some oozing stigma had attached itself to their shoes along with the earth from the cemetery.
Margaret became aware that a man was standing before her muttering words of comfort she could scarcely hear such was the blessed separation.
A fellow engineer to her husband, bound by professional code to attend; a few of these, the family, and that was all Sir Thomas had to see him on his journey.
Not much of a show to be sure, but then the bridge builder had few intimates, certainly not her, no, few intimates, save the one.
She brought his face to mind.
Alan Telfer, his personal secretary, who scarcely bothered to conceal the look of cold disdain in his eyes if she dared to visit Edinburgh and disturb them at their work; this stupid interfering woman, this dowdy squashed creature who witnessed them with their heads together over the sacred drawings.
A fine combination.
But Mister Alan Telfer was missing from the scene due to the undisputed fact that he had, some time ago, blown out his brains.
A dreadful sight to be sure, she remembered.
She had borne witness to so many things.
In truth, there were two participants missing from the scene. Where, she wondered, was the other?
A gust of wind blasted the rain almost horizontally into the face of Reverend Sneddon, and the man of god moved hastily to follow the straggle of departing mourners towards the waiting carriages.
He left a space where piety had endured and through that frame, past the attendant gravediggers who stood patiently biding the time to begin their labour, Margaret saw a shrouded figure in the distance under a threadbare dripping tree.
The inspector. He had come after all. How like the man.
4
And take upon’s the mystery of things,
As if we were God’s spies;
WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE,