She finally met my gaze. “You always have to provoke Mom. Why can’t you just do what she wants? I mean, I did and is my life so bad? I have a husband and a child. What do you have? You live in a hovel. You’re a waitress, for God’s sake. You have no one to love you. Thumbing your nose at Mom and Dad really paid off, didn’t it?” Her voice had gotten louder and louder as she spoke.
Feeling like I had been sucker punched, I left the kitchen and headed for the front door.
Jacks scurried after me. “I’m sorry, Rose. I didn’t mean it.” Fresh tears ran down her cheeks.
“Yes you did. And you’re right.”
“No I’m not, Rose. You’re just more independent than I am. You live your life your way.”
“Bullshit, Jacqueline. You think I’m a loser.” I looked around the foyer of her beautiful home. “And you’re right. I’m dead broke and don’t know what I want to do with my life. I’ve been pissing around taking random classes trying to figure it all out. And I date other losers because that’s all I can attract.”
Jacks shook her head and sniffed. “No.”
“I know what Mom and Dad think of me, but I never thought you saw me like that.” I pulled open the door and left, swiping at a tear as I ran to my car.
I spent the next hour sitting on my new futon feeling sorry for myself. Axton was gone — it wasn’t his fault, but I really needed him right now. And I needed Jacks, too. I pushed for the truth, and I didn’t have any right to complain, but I still felt abandoned by the people I loved when I needed them the most.
I stood and started to pace. My frayed thoughts took me from Jacks and my broken relationship with my parents, to worrying about Axton and breaking into Sullivan’s house. A week ago, I thought my life was boring. Now I prayed for boring.
As I wore down the nubby carpet, there was a knock at my door. I grabbed Sparky before I looked out of the peephole. Two delivery men in red t-shirts stood on my doorstep.
They brought in a small rectangular cherry wood table with two matching chairs. One of the men handed me an envelope before he left.
I ripped it open and read the note.
Hope you like this. If you don’t, please notify my secretary and she will arrange an exchange.
This was the most thoughtful thing my father had ever done for me. Was this a peace offering? Did my mother know about it?
I ran my hand along the smooth cool wood. It was the most beautiful thing in my apartment.
I called his cell and left a message thanking him. It was easier for both of us this way — no awkward pauses.
Chapter 29
Roxy arrived at seven with a duffle bag in one hand and a black backpack slung over her shoulder. I could tell by the goofy grin on her face how excited she was. I, on the other hand, had spent the past several hours chewing my nails ragged.
“You ready?” she asked, chomping her gum fast.
“No.”
“Sure you are. This’ll be fun.” She reached into the duffle bag and pulled out black stocking caps, sweats, leather gloves, and canvas utility belts.
“Where did you get all this stuff?”
“Sometimes it’s better not to ask.”
“You didn’t steal these, did you?”
She looked at me with wide blue eyes. “That would be wrong.”
She was right. I didn’t want to know.
We took turns in the bathroom getting ready. I looked like a dork with the black sweats and white tennis shoes.
She frowned at my feet. “Don’t you have any black shoes?”
“Everything was destroyed, remember?”
“Maybe we can rub dirt on them.”
“I am not rubbing dirt on them.”
“Fine, okay, whatever.”
Ma arrived just before nine dressed in polyester black pants and an orange Halloween sweatshirt covered with bats. Basically, what she wore every day.
Ma held up two Ziploc bags. “I made chocolate chip cookies and more Chex mix.” She shook the bags and her bootie at the same time.
We headed off to Eric’s early. I guess I was the only one who was nervous. In fact, I was shivering, despite having the heater cranked as high as it would go. Ma and Roxy seemed to be free from the case of nerves that gripped me, as they talked about the zombie game they played at Eric’s place. I tuned them out as I drove and mentally ran through the plan one more time.
Eric and Steve were waiting for us with a pile of computer bags by the front door. We each grabbed a bag and headed out to Steve’s Explorer. I helped Ma into the front seat and slipped into the back, wedged in between Eric and Roxy.
As Eric gave Steve directions, Ma passed out cookies, and I put my head between my knees so I wouldn’t pass out.
Eric bent down and whispered in my ear. “You’re doing this for Axton. If I were in trouble, I’d want you in my corner.”
“Thanks,” I whispered back.
Steve made a sharp turn and I lurched against Roxy.
“Sorry,” Steve said. “Now, where do I turn once I get off the highway?”
“Take a left,” Eric said.
We pulled onto the side of the road and into a shallow ditch next to the woods that surrounded Sullivan’s house. Or what I hoped was his house. Eric jumped out of the car and stepped around to the back. With Roxy’s help he began unloading equipment.
Steve and Eric opened up their laptops and plugged in their wireless drives. Roxy and I stood next to the car, while Ma sat in the passenger seat with the window rolled down.
The night was cold and I could see my breath as I danced from one foot to the other, my pulse racing so fast I thought I might faint. “Okay, are we even sure this is the right house?”
“Rose, shut up and stop hopping around. You’re starting to make me nervous,” Roxy snapped.
Steve pulled out the headsets. Eric helped Roxy while Steve handed me the wire so I could feed it down the back of my sweatshirt, then he plugged it into the receiver. He duct-taped the receiver to my lower back.
“I’ll be here if you need anything, okay?” he whispered in my ear.
“Okay, but I feel ridiculous.” I stepped away from Steve and tugged on the hem of my sweatshirt.
Eric squeezed my arm. “Hopefully, Axton is in there.” He slipped a black backpack over my shoulders. There might be evidence I needed to take out of the house.
I tucked Sparky, my pepper spray, and a small flashlight into the utility belt, and adjusted the headset. Taking a deep breath, I looked at Roxy. “I’m ready.”
“Follow me,” she said.
We’d seen the path that led to the house on the aerial map. We would have to climb a small wooded hill before reaching the house.
The night was clear. Stars seemed brighter out in the country. The harvest moon hung low in the sky and I took a deep breath, getting a smoky whiff of someone’s fireplace.
Old dead leaves crunched under our feet. It seemed unnaturally loud. I fleetingly thought about ticks and
