decomposition. (“Everyone freeze—my eyeball just popped out!”) Don’t be alarmed if you are missing one of your senses; you can still call on the senses of other zombies through communal hunting. By mobbing together, you not only increase your physical strength but also join up with recently reanimated, fresh zeds who are capable of locating humans more than a mile away.
If attacking with a horde is impossible, sense-deprived zombies should consider “hide and wait” hunting techniques (see “Waiting for Food,” page 48).
Body Language
Article VIII of the Zombie Code strictly prohibits zombies from attempting to engage in coherent speech, under penalty of tongue removal (see “The Zombie Code,” page 143). But are zombies even capable of talking? Verbal communication is very rare for a zed, because the z-virus damages the auditory center of the brain. If speech is possible, it’s usually slurred gibberish. Ever hear the phrase “Spray it, don’t say it”? Zombies coined that! Most of us are limited to moaning or screaming when alerted to danger or potential prey. Sorry to knock you off your pedestal, but most predatory animals use the same techniques to rally or warn their fellow hunters—including the brainy breathers.
In situations that require more precise communication, your best bet is to resort to nonverbal techniques— flirtatious gestures, facial expressions, etc. Swinging your hips or turning your head in the direction of your quarry will send a directional message rippling through the horde.
What’s Your Body Type?
Don’t worry, this isn’t a quiz! The undead come in all shapes and sizes, but whether dismembered or appendage-privileged, each zombie body can be stuffed into one of three basic categories. Once you determine your body type, exploit your strengths and avoid your weaknesses.
Ectomorph (Bony): An ectomorph is a small and fragile zed with narrow shoulders and hips. Its body is lightly muscled but flexible, with a longer stride, and it is capable of unusual speeds (a.k.a. banshee speeds). Ectomorphs should eat human flesh frequently but in small amounts.
Mesomorph (Shambler). This zed is considered lean and muscular, at least for a decomposing body. Its shoulders are usually wider than its hips, and it is typically stronger than zombies of the other two body types. However, mesomorphs have a tendency to overdo it, and often suffer muscle damage as a result.
Endomorph (Boomer). An endomorph’s shape resembles an apple or pear, with a larger bottom than top. Sometimes called a
Post-life Expectancy
Unfortunately, reanimated bodies don’t shamble forever. How long you last depends on two things: the current condition of your corpse and your monthly flesh diet. Ultimately, natural decay will eat away at your body, eventually rendering your corpse incapable of movement before you finally dissolve into nothingness. Zombies take longer to decay than conventional cadavers, because the potent z-virus fends off bacteria and other organisms that cause decomposition. However, if you neglect to nourish the virus by feeding on uninfected flesh, you will disintegrate at a more traditional rate; a starving zombie’s “shamble span” is estimated at four to nine months. (Your results may vary.) On the other hand, if you regularly feed on the living to maintain your decomposing body (see “Human Buffet,” page 105), you could last for two years or more.
Body Q&A
Many flesh-craving zeds are quick to join the hunt before asking themselves some very important questions. We’ve picked the brains of fellow zombies and documented the most-moaned questions.
Q: Do I need air?
A: No. While a living human can only live approximately six minutes without air, a zombie is entirely oxygen independent. Its respiratory system, whether damaged or intact, is obsolete. Zeds can even survive in aquatic environments without risk of drowning, though prolonged exposure to water can increase decomposition. Of course, this also means you are safe from suffocation.
Q: Am I vulnerable to anything?
A: Yes: brain damage by cranial penetration, brain stem trauma, or decapitation will stop you in your tracks. If your head is damaged by fire, this can also lead to termination, though your complete cremation could take up to 40 minutes (see “The Flame,” page 92).
Q: Am I allergic to anything?
A: Yes. Human bodies that have been dead longer than 12 hours should not be consumed. This tainted flesh has no nutritional value and may cause stomach buildup and absorption blocking. Improper feeding can lead to blindness and other complications. Toe tags are a good indicator that your meal is spoiled.
Q: Do controlled substances affect me?
A: Most drugs, poisons, and gases have no effect on you, though under rare circumstances, intoxicated humans can cause disorientation (see “Intoxicated Humans,” page 11). You should avoid acid, which can quickly dissolve the flesh it contacts, though acid damage is generally highly localized.
Q: Did the z-virus heal my human impairments?
A: Possibly, depending on the damage. The virus will not regenerate missing body parts, but it does form new intercellular connections to reanimate your undead corpse. On rare occasions these connections will reactivate previously nonfunctional organs, curing blindness, deafness, or other infirmities left over from your human years.
