Tarotica

to the street.

A few blocks from the burning building, Zeke hailed a cab for her.

“Talk about coitus interruptus,” she bitched, as he paid the driver to take her to her hotel.

Card 17: The Star

Miranda was the last to arrive at Heidi’s parents’ vacation home on Lake Michigan. Every summer since college, the four friends had converged here for a long weekend of excessive eating, drinking, and general indulgence while catching up on each other’s lives. Last year, however, Miranda had missed their annual reunion because of her father’s illness.

As she carried her suitcase to the yellow cottage with dark green shutters, Heidi, Kate, and Isadora—whom everyone called Izzy—hailed her from the porch. Izzy waved a half-empty bottle of Sauvignon Blanc.

“We thought you got lost.” Heidi jumped up to hug Miranda. She looked exactly like someone named Heidi should: plump, blond, blue-eyed, and rosy-cheeked, with a wide grin and generous manner.

“I got a late start,” Miranda explained. “Last night was beyond belief.”

Kate laughed and hugged her next. “I can’t wait to hear about it.” Half a head shorter than Miranda and delicate as a bird, Kate’s pixie haircut and sprinkling of freckles made her look like a ten-year-old girl instead of the insurance executive she was.

“I like the purple streaks,” Izzy said, tugging a lock of Miranda’s hair. Her own hair blazed poppy-red and hung nearly to her pencil-thin waist. In her turquoise bikini, she appeared to have lost at least twenty pounds since the last time Miranda saw her.

“Look at you. You’re as skinny as a fashion model,” Miranda said.

Izzy shrugged. “Too much stress, the divorce and all. Plus I started smoking again.”

“We’re going to fatten her up this weekend,” Heidi promised. She pulled up a wicker chair for Miranda and the four women settled themselves on the porch overlooking the lake, feet propped on the railing.

Izzy poured a glass of wine for Miranda. “You’ve got some catching up to do—we’re way ahead of you.”

“So what else have I missed?” Miranda asked.

“Oh, lots,” Kate said. “We’re swapping stories of our recent fucks.”

“Heidi was telling us about her highland fling with a Scottish bagpipe player when you drove up,” Izzy said, lighting a cigarette.

“Start back at the beginning,” Miranda insisted. “I want to hear everything.”

“It was a dark and foggy night,” Heidi began in a dramatic tone. “Unseasonably warm for March in Scotland. I’d just met this guy who played bagpipes. Handsome bearded chap. Wore a kilt and everything.” She paused to drink some wine before continuing. “Anyway, we had dinner together and during the course of our conversation, I mentioned an old castle perched high on a bluff above the ocean. I’d seen it from the road and asked him about it. He offered to give me a private guided tour. We hiked around the grounds in the moonlight, overgrown gardens with naked statues and fountains and such. Did I mention there was a full moon? The castle was kind of dilapidated, obviously vacant a long time, but still beautiful and eerie with the fog drifting in off the ocean. I could hear the waves breaking on the shore below, and the sound of a foghorn in the distance. It was so damned romantic.”

“And you couldn’t restrain yourself. You simply had to find out whether it’s true what they say about men in kilts not wearing knickers,” Izzy teased.

Heidi giggled. “When we started across an old wooden bridge over a moat, I reached under his kilt and…”

“And what?” Miranda prompted.

“No knickers!”

The four women laughed and clinked their wine glasses together.

“We did it right there on the bridge,” Heidi said. “Afterwards, I had about a zillion splinters in my butt. He had to pull them out, one by one, with tweezers.”

“It was worth it though, right?” Kate asked.

“Oh, yes. Definitely. But here’s the best part—he blew me with the bagpipes.”

Izzy ground out her cigarette. “This I’ve got to hear.”

“He held one of the pipes between my legs and played this lively jig. Let me tell you girls, the air coming out of that pipe, the music and the vibration, and knowing his hot breath made it all happen, well, it was the most amazing sex toy.”

“Oh my God,” Miranda howled, and her companions joined in.

Izzy topped off their glasses, emptying the bottle. “That’s the end of this one.

Fortunately, there’s plenty more where this came from.” She went inside and returned with a full bottle, plus a jar of cashews and a bag of potato chips.

“You’re next, Izzy,” Heidi prompted. “What’s it like being a free woman again after years of married life?”

“Well… I did my first three-way. Sort of.”

“Sort of?” Kate asked.

“There’s this guy in my office I’ve always been hot for, so now that Paul’s history, I invited him over for a drink. One thing led to another…”

“It usually does,” Kate said.

“We’re just getting into it when his cell phone rings and he answers it. I’m thinking you asshole when he says it’s his best friend and suggests we let him in on the action. He hands me the phone and says, ‘Here, you talk to him.’ So his friend starts talking dirty to me and, well, I kinda liked it. It was fun having one guy doing me and another one talking me off.”

Miranda grabbed a handful of nuts. “I guess that counts as a two-fer.”

“I took pictures of us with the phone, too, so his friend could see us.”

“No way!” Heidi shrieked, laughing.

“Yeah, really,” Izzy admitted.

“Makes me think maybe getting divorced isn’t such a bad thing,” Kate said.

Izzy shook her head. “Trust me, it is. Divorce sucks big time.”

Kate squeezed Izzy’s hand. “Sorry, Iz. I know you’ve been through hell. But now that it’s over, I hope you have the fun you deserve.”

“Hear, hear,” Miranda said and the women clinked glasses again.

“Miranda, we haven’t heard about your trip yet,” Heidi said. “Of course we’ll expect a full report before the weekend’s out, but right now, inquiring minds want to know about the men you’ve met along the way.”

Watching the sun sink into the lake, Miranda considered where to begin. “There’s so much to tell, this could be a whole book.”

“We’re all ears,” Izzy said. “How about starting with last night?”

“Okay. I don’t think any of you’ve ever met him, but you remember me telling you about my dad’s old friend, Zeke? The one who used to be a musician and now is a lawyer for mobsters in Chicago?”

“You did Zeke?” Heidi asked, her blue eyes wide with surprise.

“Not quite.” Miranda described the extended foreplay session that ended abruptly when the building caught fire.

Izzy fanned herself with her hands. “Whew, you must’ve been generating some kinda heat, girlfriend!”

All four burst into giggles. When they recovered, Kate said, “Speaking of mobsters. I met a guy at a boat show in Los Angeles a few months ago. Handsome, sexy, Italian guy, early forties. Designer suit, diamond ring, Rolex, very bling-bling. We hit it off immediately and I ended up spending the night in his suite at the Biltmore. Great hotel, by the way, if you’ve never been there I highly recommend it.” She took a handful of potato chips and munched them.

“How did you know he’s with the mob?” Heidi asked.

“I’m getting to that,” Kate continued. “A few days later, he called and asked me to meet him in Miami and