The Proposal

He had noticed.

Her eyes met his, just inches from her own. But she could not bear the intensity she saw there. She dipped her head to rest against his neck again and closed her eyes. Would she remember the poignant wonder of this moment for all the rest of her life? Or was it a foolish fancy to imagine that she would?

She rather thought this might be more than just physical attraction. What she was feeling was not just lust, though it was undoubtedly that too. There was also … Oh, dear. Why were there never words to describe feelings adequately? Perhaps she was falling in love with him, whatever that meant. But she would not think of it now. She would work it out some other time.

He sighed then, deeply and audibly.

“I expected to despise you,” he said. “Or at the very least to be irritated by you.”

She opened her mouth to reply and shut it again. She did not want to begin any conversation. She wanted simply to enjoy. She raised her head and set her temple against his cheek. They gazed across the water together, and she knew that she would remember. Always and ever.

After a few minutes he turned without a word and waded out of the sea with her and up the sand to the blanket, where he set her down. He peeled off his wet drawers, picked up the towel, and dried himself off again without turning his back.

Gwen would not look away. Or perhaps she could not. She was not even shocked.

“You may say no,” he said, looking down at her as he dropped the towel. “It would be best to say it now if you must, though. But you may say it at any time before I enter your body. I will not force myself upon you.”

Ah, always the man of plain speech.

Gwen was holding her breath, she realized. Had it come to this, then?

Foolish question.

She knew many women who were of the opinion that widows were to be envied provided they had the means with which to live independently—as Gwen did. Widows were free to take lovers as long as they were discreet about it. In some circles they were almost expected to do so, in fact.

Gwen had never even been tempted.

Until now.

Who would know?

She would know. And Hugo would know.

Who would be hurt?

She might be. He almost certainly would not. No one else would. She had no husband, no fiance, no steady beau. He had no wife.

She would be sorry afterward. She would be sorry either way. If she said no, she would forever wonder what it would have been like and would forever regret that she had not found out. If she did not say no, she would forever be plagued with guilt.

Perhaps. Perhaps not.

The thoughts tumbled through her mind in a confused jumble.

“I am not saying no,” she said. “I will not say no. I am not a tease.”

And thus were decisions of great moment made, she thought. Impulsively, without due consideration. From the heart rather than from the head. From impulse rather than from a lifetime of experience and morality.

He came down beside her and moved the cushion at her back so that it lay flat and she could set her head on it. He tossed aside her cloak and the two cushions beneath her right leg. He slid large, blunt fingers into her hair and tilted her face up and kissed her openmouthed. His tongue pressed deep and withdrew again.

He knelt beside her and drew her dress off her shoulders and down over her breasts, which were lifted into prominence by her stays.

He looked at her while she resisted the foolish urge to cover herself with her hands. But he did it for her when he spread a hand over one of her breasts and lowered his head to the other. She spread her fingers wide over the blanket on either side of her as he took her nipple into his mouth and suckled her, rubbing his tongue over the tip as he did so. With his thumb and forefinger he rolled the nipple of the other breast, squeezing almost but not quite to the point of pain.

An almost unbearably raw ache spread upward to her throat and downward through her womb to settle between her thighs. She lifted her hands and set one over his wrist, the other against the back of his head. His hair was damp and warm.

He kissed her again then, his tongue simulating the nuptial act with long, deep strokes into her mouth.

He was, she realized over the next several minutes, ten times, perhaps a hundred times, more experienced than she. She knew only kisses of the lips and the act itself.

He did not unclothe her fully, but his hands found their way unerringly beneath her clothes to unlace her stays and find places that gave him pleasure and were sweet agony to her. They were large, blunt-fingered hands whose gentleness she had discovered before. But they were more than just gentle. There was erotic seductiveness in them. They could and did play her like a musical instrument—and not just with competence, she thought with wry humor, but with sheer talent too.

And finally, when her body hummed with desire and need almost to the point of pain, he used one of those hands on the heart of her. It found her beneath the muslin of her dress and the silk of her shift, and his fingers made skilled love to her, parting, stroking, teasing, even scratching. One finger slid long and rigid inside her and she clenched muscles about it and both heard and felt her own wetness. The finger was removed and replaced with two, and then they were removed and replaced with three. They played inside her as she tried to capture them with her muscles, driving her to near madness. She clutched his shoulders and kneaded them with her fingers. At the same time the pad of his thumb was doing something that she did not consciously feel but to which she reacted by shattering about his fingers and hand, crying out as she did so.

He was right over her then, blocking the sunlight, his knees pushing her legs wide, his weight on his forearms, his eyes gazing intently down into hers.

“We can be satisfied with that if you wish,” he said, his voice harsh. “It is still not too late to say no.”

Some semblance of her virtue would remain intact.

“I will not say no,” she told him.

And she felt him against the sensitive area he had just been caressing, finding her, positioning himself, and then pressing hard and firm into her until he was deeply imbedded.

She had inhaled slowly, she realized, and was holding her breath. He was indeed large. But he was not hurting her. Quite the contrary. He had made very sure that she was wet enough to receive him without discomfort. She exhaled, relaxed, and then clenched her inner muscles about him.

She was glad. Oh, she was glad. She would never be sorry.

He had waited for her, she realized. He was still gazing down into her eyes, though his had lost some of their usual intensity and were heavy lidded and naked with desire. But he would wait no longer. He had given her exquisite pleasure even before entering. Now it was his turn. And he took it. He lowered his head until his forehead touched her shoulder, and worked her with deep, swift, powerful strokes, half his weight on her, the other half still supported on his forearms. She could hear the raggedness of his breathing.

She lifted her legs from the blanket and twined them about his thighs. She felt a momentary twinge in her right ankle but ignored it. She tilted her pelvis so that he could come deeper still. And she listened to the wet sucking of his withdrawals and felt the deep, satisfying penetration of his thrusts. Although she knew this was not primarily for her—he was deep in the throes of his own physical need—she felt again the heightened sensation of renewed passion and pressed against him, matching his rhythm with the clenching and unclenching of her muscles, moving her hips in a rhythmic circular motion.

She had no real experience. Ah, incredibly she had almost none. She mated with him out of pure instinct.

But she certainly had not done anything to dampen his ardor. He worked her with undiminished power until he stilled in her suddenly, rigid in every muscle, straining for greater depth, hot and slick with sweat, and she felt the hot gush of his release at the same moment as he spoke low against her ear.

“Gwendoline,” he said and relaxed his full, not inconsiderable weight down upon her.