Time of Death

‘Could Domenica Val Pando be the coyote?’ said Robbie.

Ren laughed. ‘Domenica would be far too vain to allow herself to be called fat anything.’

‘Is there anything more on this coyote?’ said Colin.

‘I’ve put the word out with Border Control,’ said Ren. ‘If there is any more information, they’ll be the ones to find it.’

Everyone went back to their desks and continued to work in silence. It was as if they were all suffering the after-effects of a bad night. There was no small talk, no group lunch. When Ren came back into the office at two, Colin looked up from his computer.

‘Did you hear about this?’ he said. He quoted the headline. ‘Trudie Hammond Murder Inquiry Re- opened’.’

What? ‘Where did you hear that?’

‘The Post.’ Colin scanned down the screen.

‘What are they saying?’

‘A lot of nothing.’

‘But there’s no mention that Hammond’s death was homicide,’ said Ren.

‘No.’

‘It won’t take a genius to work out that someone is suspicious. After all these years, around the same time as the husband dies in an “accident”, his wife’s murder inquiry is being looked at again?’ Shit. Shit. Shit. ‘But, why now?’ Ren’s heart was pounding. ‘And who’s quoted? Where did this come from?’

She got her answer about who the suspicious party was with the ping of her Inbox. As if by magic. It was an email from Janine Hooks: Subject: Ha/Ho.

This is not good.

Ren opened the email:

‘H-A…goes before H-O…’

Regards,

Janine Hooks

Oh, Billy, you didn’t.

36

Billy arrived at Annie’s that evening wondering what it was that could be so urgent – again. Ren slumped down on the sofa. ‘Billy…’

‘What happened?’ he said, sitting beside her.

‘Oh, Billy,’ said Ren. ‘You put the file back in the wrong place.’

‘What?’

‘You put the Hammond file behind the “H-O” file.’

He put his head in his hands. Then he looked back up. ‘Are you sure?’

‘I got an email from Janine Hooks. She’s reopening the case.’

‘Is that not a good thing?’

‘No,’ said Ren. ‘Not on any level.’

‘Shit. I’m…so sorry. That is not the kind of mistake I make. Are you screwed?’

‘I don’t know. But what a fucking mess. There’s no telling what she’s going to do.’

‘Will she talk to Gary Dettling?’ said Billy.

‘She better not,’ said Ren.

‘Thank you for not blaming me,’ said Billy, taking her hand.

Oh, I am. I am blaming you. But it was an accident. So I can’t say it out loud. Or maybe I will. Don’t do it. I can’t help it…

‘You have no idea what you’ve done,’ said Ren. The volume was rising. ‘My whole career—’

Billy let go of her hand. ‘I’ve heard the “my whole career” line before.’

Ren looked up. ‘Well, thanks for ignoring that and screwing up anyway.’ Her eyes were lit with anger.

‘It was because of that line,’ said Billy, ‘that I helped you out. I’m not expecting a thank you here.’ He stood up. ‘All I wanted to do was to protect the “whole career” you love. And protect the person who loves it.’

‘Sit down,’ said Ren. ‘Please. I’m sorry.’

He sat down. ‘I’m sorry.’

‘I know you are. I know. I just…I’m scared.’

‘I feel that my very existence jeopardizes your job,’ said Billy.

‘My job is not your responsibility,’ said Ren. Her tone was gentle.

‘I guess I felt it was my responsibility before…when we got together—’

‘Even then, it wasn’t…I could definitely hold your ass responsible for that, though.’

‘We went through a lot,’ said Billy ‘You did. You fought hard. So I’m not going to let anyone take that away from you. If I have to take the rap, I will.’

‘Don’t be ridiculous,’ said Ren. She hung her head. ‘Billy, what am I going to do with you?’

‘Not be mad at me.’

‘Jesus, how could I be mad?’ said Ren. ‘I mean, taking the file for me was amazing. The putting it back part – not so much. Your fuck-up could be the biggest fuck-up I’ve ever made. But it all started with me. So, it’ll all end with me.’

‘No one will find out,’ said Billy. ‘And if they do, no one will find me. Do you have any idea how long you motherfuckers were tracking me back in the day – until you caught up with me?’

Ren laughed.

Billy stood up in front of her and held her head between his hands. He kissed her on the top of the head three times: ‘Do. Not. Worry.’

Ren stood up and hugged him tight. ‘You crazy, crazy bitch.’

‘The world is not closing in on you,’ said Billy. ‘Look at it like this – there’s a way out of every maze—’

‘Noo,’ said Ren. ‘Not mazes. Do not speak of them.’

‘Listen to me. Mazes are usually made of hedges, right? So what you’re afraid of is some pruned shrubbery. Which doesn’t sound too scary, right? In fact, it sounds a little harmless…and, if you have the right chainsaw, you can rip right through it.’

‘Yes…’

‘What was the only thing that would have stopped you ripping through that hedge when you were a kid, if you needed to?’

‘I left my chainsaw back in my Wendy house?’

‘Convention is what stopped you,’ said Billy. ‘Manners, society expectations, fear of letting down your parents or drawing negative attention to yourself or ruining someone’s birthday party…’

Ren smiled. ‘Ah.’

‘Yes,’ said Billy. ‘There is a way out – you just need to break a few rules.’

‘I’m an obeyer of rules…mainly.’

‘Well, I’m just glad you broke a few last year,’ said Billy. ‘And remember: if there’s something strange…in your neighborhood…who you gonna call?’

Ren laughed. Billy hugged her again and left.

Annie’s phone rang. Ren stared at it. I’m tired. I’m busy. I’m rushing. I’m under pressure. I’m exhausted. I haven’t slept…She felt exhausted even thinking of the effort it took to always be on, to have a few words to throw out to distract someone from guessing that always, there was some other crap going on under the surface. She wondered if she would ever turn to someone else and say, ‘I feel very vulnerable right now. I need to be alone.’