“What?”
“Nothing. Just . . .”
“Something you want to share?” She stared at him.
He shook his head. “No, not really.”
When she continued staring at him, he glanced away, breaking direct eye contact. “When I was in my late teens and early twenties, I bummed around the world on my own, putting as much distance between myself and my family as I possibly could. Not long after I turned twenty, I found myself flat broke. I was damned and determined not to touch my trust fund, so I did something really stupid.”
“I can’t imagine your doing anything stupid. Not you.” Without giving her actions a thought, she reached up on the sofa back and laid her hand over his.
He tensed the moment she touched him. She eased her hand away.
“I joined a group of guys I met up with when I was in Europe, some real badasses, and I thought I was as mean and tough as they were so I sort of bluffed my way into their circle. They were mercenaries of a sort, most of them former soldiers. They weren’t all that particular about who joined them. As long as I kept my mouth shut and did what I was told, we got along fine. I spent nearly ten months with them.” He looked into her eyes. “You’ve never killed anyone, have you, Maleah?”
“No, I haven’t. But I have been in several situations where I’ve had to return fire. And a few years ago, I was shot and spent some time in the hospital.”
“I remember. I was working strictly freelance at the time. I consulted on that case. Rick Carson was the Powell agent in charge.”
“That’s right.”
They sat there in silence for a few moments before Derek said, “I have killed. I’ve killed more than just one person.”
“When you were working with those mercenaries?”
“Yeah. The first time I killed a man, I was scared to death. We’d been hired by a family to rescue a kidnap victim. I thought of myself as one of the good guys and the man I killed as one of the bad guys. The second time I killed a man, I wasn’t quite as scared and eventually, it got easier. And finally it became too easy. I began hating myself. That’s when I got out, changed my life around and came home to the U.S.”
Maleah looked at Derek Lawrence with a greater insight into the person he really was, not the man she thought he was. Why he had chosen to share with her what was obviously painful memories about his youthful walk on the wild side, she didn’t know. But she was glad he had. Seeing him now, all sleek and sophisticated with his expensive haircuts, his designer clothes, his air of casual elegance, she never would have thought—not in a million years—that he had ever been a soldier of fortune when he was very young and apparently very stupid.
She would never again be able to look at him and see only an arrogant playboy.
“I really don’t know you at all, do I?” She couldn’t take her eyes off him because she felt that she was seeing him for the first time.
“Sure you do, hon—” He broke off mid-word. “You know me. Sometimes I feel as if you can see straight through me.” He grinned, the motion forced and self-mocking. “Now, you know me a little better. I’ve given you more weapons in your arsenal of reasons to dislike me.”
“Is that what you think, that I look for reasons to dislike you?”
“Don’t you?”
“No, of course not.”
“Tell me one thing you like about me,” he challenged.
“I’m not playing this game with you.” She sat up straight and halfway rose to her feet.
He grabbed her upper arms and forced her back down on the sofa. “Just tell me one thing you like about me and I’ll let you go.” He kept a tight hold on her.
She didn’t fight him, didn’t even squirm. “I like your silver Corvette.”
His lips twitched. “That’s something I own. Try again.”
His tenacious hold loosened ever so slightly.
“I like . . .” Her mind went blank. He was staring at her with such intensity, as if her answer meant a great deal to him. But that wasn’t possible, was it? Derek didn’t really give a damn what she or anyone else thought of him.
“You like what?” he asked. “My good looks? My winning personality? My magnificent body? My keen intellect?”
“Yes.” She swallowed hard.
“Yes, what? Be specific.”
“Yes, I like your looks, your body, your intellect and your personality, too, except for the macho he-man part that fights me for control and tries to put me in my place.”
“And what do you believe I think your place is?” He slid his left hand down her arm and slipped it around her waist, then moved his right hand up to circle the back of her neck.
Keeping her eyes focused on him to show him that he didn’t intimidate her, she replied, “You think I should be a helpless, needy female who can’t survive without a big strong man like you to lean on, to support me, and to make my decisions for me.”
When Derek laughed, she felt as if he had thrown ice water over her head.
“What’s so damn funny?”
“You are, Blondie. You have no idea how wrong you are. Would I like to see you all soft and feminine, yeah, sure I would. But you could never be helpless and needy. That’s not who you are, thank goodness. You’re tough, outspoken, and independent. And those are things I like about you.”
She stared at him with wide-eyed disbelief.
“And FYI—I like your pretty face, your gorgeous body, and your sharp mind.” With his hand at the back of her neck, he drew her closer and closer.
But she didn’t resist. “What about my personality?” she asked, her voice husky with emotion.
“I like your personality, except . . .” He brought his mouth close to hers.
“Except?” she asked, her lips parting in anticipation.
“I forget,” he told her.
And then he kissed her. A tender marauding that claimed her mouth.
She kissed him back. Kissed him with equal hunger and need and passion. Not until that very moment did she realize exactly how much she had wanted Derek to kiss her.
Chapter 20
Had he lost his mind? Kissing Maleah Perdue was insanity. A huge mistake. But damn it all, he couldn’t remember the last time he had wanted anything half as much. While his thoughts went wild with warnings, he deepened the kiss. As if she were a drug he had become instantly addicted to, he wanted more. But the moment his tongue touched hers, Maleah shoved against his chest, trying to push him away from her. When she managed to free her mouth from his, she gasped for air.
“We can’t do this,” she said breathlessly. “It’s crazy. We’re crazy!”
He released his hold on the back of her neck and eased his arm from around her waist. Breathing hard, he stared at her flushed cheeks, her swollen lips, and disheveled hair. Apparently, without realizing what he was doing, he had threaded his fingers through her hair.
“Do I need to apologize?” he asked, knowing full well that she was going to lay all the blame on him. And maybe she should. After all, he had started the whole thing by kissing her, hadn’t he?
Maleah shook her head. “I don’t know what happened.” She jumped up. “But it was as much my fault as
