The difference, thought Lumsden, was that his father had never been in possession of a gun quite as menacing as the SA80A2, with its thirty-round magazine, an accurate range of four hundred yards, and a muzzle velocity of just a shade under a kilometer per second.
Not that his father would have given a shit about any of the technical details, of course, thought Lumsden; Mason Dingle would only have wanted to know how cheap, and could it be traced.
But Gary Lumsden loved the technical details. Certainly, he wished the SA80A2 had a more glamorous name, like Colt .45 or Uzi. But it was the technical details that had kept his mouth watered through thirteen weeks of sweaty basic training, and his fists at his sides as Second Lieutenant Brigstock—all shiny and new from Sandhurst —bossed him about like a hated older brother.
The thought of the SA80 obsessed him. On drill his eyes swivelled illegally to watch other squaddies carrying their guns, and he felt rather than heard the dull metal-on-metal clicks and sharp slides of well-maintained weaponry. As he hung with screaming arms over a pit of mud on the assault course, his ears were attuned to the snappy cracks from the nearby range. At night, while the man in the bunk below his made them both shake to the rhythm of imaginary sex, Gary Lumsden’s skin thrilled instead to the thought of cradling his SA80 in his left hand, while his right forefinger twitched on a phantom trigger.
And now he finally held the culmination of all those technical details cool and heavy in his hands, it was all Private Gary Lumsden could do not to stand up, spin on his heel, and spray his platoon-mates with high-caliber bullets at a rate of seven hundred rounds per minute—just to see what it would feel like. He yearned to feel the weapon heat up in his palms, spit fire from his fingers, ring in his ears, commit distant murder.
Instead Private Lumsden breathed through his mouth as the moment of truth arrived.
The SA80 fitted him like another limb. They’d been separated at birth and now it was part of him again. He’d cleaned it and dismantled it and cleaned it and reassembled it and cleaned it again. He could do it blindfolded. Be good to your gun and your gun will be good to you. By that reckoning, Private Lumsden’s gun should have gone down on him every morning and then cooked him bacon and eggs.
But now—finally—it was his gun’s turn to pay him back.
Controlling his excitement, Private Lumsden drew a bead on a card target that didn’t even have a human shape on it—it was just five bull’s-eyes on a page. Fucking crap.
Still, he focused, relaxed, exhaled smoothly, and squeezed lovingly, and the single round kicked his shoulder and the card rippled briefly to let him know he’d hit it.
“Well done, Lumsden!”
Lumsden didn’t hear Brigstock. The shot had opened a gate of hot pleasure in him that made him wince. He had to bite his lip to keep from whimpering. Never in a million years had he imagined his gun would be
In a rush, he thought of his father.
Lumsden’s father shared his DNA but not his name. Thank god. Life had been tough enough for the Lumsden boys without the added encumbrance of a name like Dingle. No wonder his old man had had a short fuse.
That short fuse translated into quick fists for young Gary and his brother, Mark. The boys did not complain; they had never known anything else. In just the same way, they had never had clothes on their backs that were not shoplifted, food on their table that had been legally purchased, toys they had not bought with stolen lunch money.
Even their mother did not really belong to their father—she was one of six on the Lapwing estate who had borne his children, the first offspring arriving just shy of Mason Dingle’s fifteenth birthday. Gary and Mark had a half sister they had nothing to do with, and knew who their half brothers were by their quick tempers as much as by the angelic blue eyes they all shared.
The eight boys aged between six and seventeen prowled warily around one another on the estate—aware of the tenuous bond they all resented. There were long periods of uneasy quiet, punctured by flurries of sharp but generally minor violence. Their father flitted between families, staying only until everything wasn’t going his way, then he’d move on and start again. He had no favorites—barely seemed to acknowledge the boys—and made no contribution other than drawing regular late-night or early-morning visits from the police.
Gary Lumsden was first taken into custody at the age of nine for stealing a tube of toothpaste from the corner shop. His mother had sent him for the toothpaste; she didn’t give him any money and Gary didn’t expect her to. The shopkeeper held his shirt so tight until the police came that Gary had red marks under his armpits for days.
He knew shoplifting was wrong, but only in an abstract way. At school it was wrong and at home it was all he knew. The thought of going to work somewhere, earning money, and buying stuff with it was alien to him; he had no experience of anyone in his family doing such a thing—and would have thought them foolish to attempt it. Toothpaste was in the shop; all he had to do was transfer it to his mother’s bathroom with the minimum of fuss.
The police came and took him home, instead of to the police station. The copper led him from the patrol car to the front door in a death grip that told Gary he’d like to do much more to him than this pointless exercise. Something inside the young Gary had understood that this wasn’t just about him; that the policeman’s rough handling had been primed by other, older experiences that Gary had no knowledge of. But for now he was at the sharp end.
His mother had been unable to muster the required sobriety to appear even vaguely interested in a policeman at her door and—apart from her later bitching about no toothpaste—that had been that. Given that Gary had been relieving the corner shop of its shabby stock since the age of four, his first brush with the law seemed a ridiculously small price to pay.
Mason Dingle occasionally “went away,” but he always came back and never seemed embarrassed, chastened, or changed by the experience, and Gary and Mark had no doubt that they would one day follow him into the family trade.
Until they saw
Suddenly Gary and Mark Lumsden were the good guys—staunch, courageous, noble—if only in their own minds. They stopped being famous footballers and gangsters and started being soldiers.
It wasn’t all good. At first, soldiers meant they moved from sneak-thieving and shoplifting to all-out noisy attacks, using threats, diversionary tactics, and confusion to cover their actions. Military strategy, they learned to call it.
There was a hiccup in their game when they found a dull black pistol in a box in the shed. It had MADE IN CZECHOSLOVAKIA down one side with the letters CZ inside a circle at either end of that. It was dirty and scratched and was the most beautiful thing either of them had ever encountered. For a heady six hours, Mark and Gary Lumsden held each other hostage, gunned each other down, pressed bruising rings into each other’s temples and backs with the muzzle of the pistol in a barely suppressed excitement of violence.
Then their father caught them with it and beat them both black and blue.
Mark had no ambition anyway and the beating laid to rest any daring he possessed regarding the CZ, but slowly—with the memory of the heavy pistol in his small hands always fresh—Gary started to aspire to a gun.
A big gun.
A gun he could call his own. A gun he would not even have to steal. A gun he could—possibly—fire at real people with minimal repercussions.
The British Army beckoned loudly, and Gary Lumsden was far from deaf.
He picked up leaflets, he called Freephone numbers; he learned that a criminal record would bar him from recruitment—and he cleaned up his act.
For seven years Gary Lumsden had talked and dreamed of little other than achieving that gun. He joined the army cadets and was the only boy who attended every week, come rain or shine. Intellect that had not been exercised in English or history classes was suddenly stretched by signals, rule books, drill patterns, boot polishing, and uniform pressing. He hated it all, but every shined button, every measured turnup, every jealous insult hurled by other blue-eyed boys on the estate—each brought him a few seconds closer to the gun.
And everything he’d been through—the pain, the hard work, the humiliation, the fear, the poverty—everything had become worth it the second he pulled that trigger and felt the rush of holding death in his hands.
Although his turn to shoot was over for now, Gary Lumsden did not join his mates in shuffling into a more comfortable position on the wet grass, or in turning to watch his fanned-out companions pull their own
