He died, they say, On the same dayHis wealthy neighbor passed away. What matters it When beggars quitTheir beats? I answer: Not a bit. They got a spade And pick and madeA hole, and there the chap was laid. 'He asked for bread,' 'Twas neatly said:'He'll get not even a stone instead.' The years rolled round: His humble moundSank to the level of the ground; And men forgot That the bare spotWas like (and was) the beggar's lot. Forgotten, too, Was t'other, whoHad reared the monument to woo Inconstant Fame, Though still his nameShouted in granite just the same. That name, I swear, They both did bearThe beggar and the millionaire. That lofty tomb, Then, honored—whom?For argument here's ample room. I'll not debate, But only stateThe scamp first claimed it at the Gate. St. Peter, proud To serve him, bowedAnd showed him to the softest cloud.
DISAPPOINTMENT
The Senate woke; the Chairman's snore Was stilled, its echoes balking;The startled members dreamed no more,For Steele, who long had held the floor, Had suddenly ceased talking.As, like Elijah, in his pride, He to his seat was passing,'Go up thou baldhead!' Reddy cried.Then six fierce bears ensued and tried To sunder him for 'sassing.'Two seized his legs, and one his head, The fourth his trunk, to munch on;The fifth preferred an arm instead;The last, with rueful visage, said: 'Pray what have I for luncheon?'Then to that disappointed bear Said Steele, serene and chipper,'My friend, you shall not lack your share:Look in the Treasury, and there You'll find his other flipper.'
THE VALLEY OF THE SHADOW OF THEFT
In fair Yosemite, that den of thieves Wherein the minions of the moon divideThe travelers' purses, lo! the Devil grieves, His larger share as leader still denied.El Capitan, foreseeing that his reign May be disputed too, beclouds his head.The joyous Bridal Veil is torn in twain And the crepe steamer dangles there instead.The Vernal Fall abates her pleasant speed And hesitates to take the final plunge,For rumors reach her that another greed Awaits her in the Valley of the Sponge.The Brothers envy the accord of mind And peace of purpose (by the good deploredAs honor among Commissioners) which bind That confraternity of crime, the Board.The Half-Dome bows its riven face to weep, But not, as formerly, because bereft:Prophetic dreams afflict him when asleep Of losing his remaining half by theft.Ambitious knaves! has not the upper sod Enough of room for every crime that crawlsBut you must loot the Palaces of God And daub your filthy names upon the walls?