That smother the soul of his foe! Hurrah for the spirits that go To dwell with the Greatest of Gods; (Curtain falls to faint odor of mortality. Exit the Gas.) DRAMATIS PERSON?
LELAND, THE KID a Road Agent
COWBOY CHARLEY Same Line of Business
HAPPY HUNTY Ditto in All Respects
SOOTYMUG a Devil
Scene—the Dutch Flat Stage Road, at 12 P.M., on a Night of 1864.
COWBOY CHARLEY:
My boss, I fear she is delayed to-night. Already it is past the hour, and yet My ears have reached no sound of wheels; no note Melodious, of long, luxurious oaths Betokens the traditional dispute (Unsettled from the dawn of time) between The driver and off wheeler; no clear chant Nor carol of Wells Fargo's messenger Unbosoming his soul upon the air— his prowess to the tender-foot, And how at divers times in sundry ways He strewed the roadside with our carcasses. Clearly, the stage will not come by to-night. LELAND, THE KID:
I now remember that but yesterday I saw three ugly looking fellows start From Colfax with a gun apiece, and they Did seem on business of importance bent. Furtively casting all their eyes about And covering their tracks with all the care That business men do use. I think perhaps They were Directors of that rival line, The great Pacific Mail. If so, they have Indubitably taken in that coach, And we are overreached. Three times before This thing has happened, and if once again These outside operators dare to cut Our rates of profit I shall quit the road And take my money out of this concern. When robbery no longer pays expense It loses then its chiefest charm for me, And I prefer to cheat—you hear me shout! HAPPY HUNTY:
My chief, you do but echo back my thoughts: This competition is the death of trade. 'Tis plain (unless we wish to go to work) Some other business we must early find. What shall it be? The field of usefulness Is yearly narrowing with the advance Of wealth and population on this coast. There's little left that any man can do Without some other fellow stepping in And doing it as well. If one essay To pick a pocket he is sure to feel (With what disgust I need not say to you) Another hand inserted in the same. You crack a crib at dead of night, and lo! As you explore the dining-room for plate You find, in session there, a graceless band Stuffing their coats with spoons, their skins with wine. And so it goes. Why even undertake To salt a mine and you will find it rich With noble specimens placed there before! LELAND, THE KID:
And yet this line of immigration has Advantages superior to aught That elsewhere offers: all these passengers, If punched with care— COWBOY CHARLEY:
Significant remark! It opens up a prospect wide and fair, Suggesting to the thoughtful mind—my mind— A scheme that is the boss lay-out. Instead
