himself at the markets with Maive. Sofia felt a stab of jealousy at that, without being able to pin down exactly who she felt jealous of and why. All the fifteen-year-old knew for sure was that she was stuck here in the loft concerned about the horses and bored out of her brains.
She sighed and her breath fogged up the glass directly in front of her face. She rubbed it clean with the arm of her sweater, wiping away a few marks she hadn’t known were there. They looked like ghostly impressions of her face - probably left over from the last time she’d stood pressed to the window while being held prisoner in the apartment.
The glass vibrated against her forehead. Living one floor above them was a rail-thin, long-haired meth head who cranked his stereo up during the day to sleep off the previous night’s drug binge. His favourite pastime of late was to stand in his window, waving his genitals to passers-by while shouting ‘I’M OKAY! I’M ALL RIGHT!’ Complaints to the landlord and the local authorities achieved nothing. There weren’t enough cops to respond or medical personnel to treat him, and they didn’t have room in the jails or psych wards anyway. She knew that from her part-time job, her three afternoon and evening shifts a week at North Kansas City General. The man was a public nuisance, but no one could quite bring themselves to throw him out on his own. He was a veteran, anyway, and so virtually untouchable. Her father had threatened him more than once, which a sane man would have taken to heart. But their neighbour was not sane. He was a crazy fucking loser. Papa had eventually given up trying to do anything about him. Like he had given up on so much else.
The meth head was just one of many in the neighbourhood. On the rare occasion she watched the news, Sofia saw a fantasy version of what life was like here in Kansas City. Safe streets patrolled by friendly cops, and militia working side by side with wholesome, smiling families - they always seemed to be
Above her, the volume went up, as her neighbour started dancing, rattling the plates in the kitchen cabinet. She considered going upstairs and punching the genital helicopter square in the face, but thought better of it. One assault a week was enough.
Her knuckles still hurt from that last one, a foolish situation that she cursed herself for now. She should never have hit that asshole at school the way she did. No, she should’ve whacked him with a hammer fist, breaking his jaw with the hard, callused edge of her hand; like someone pounding their fist on a table to make a point, the way her father and Trudi Jessup had taught her to punch when they’d all been running from the road agents.
It was a terrible thing, but in some ways she missed those days. Not the madness of it, nor the raw anguish of having lost everyone in her family except for Papa.
Mama, Grandma Ana. Little Maya and her brothers. Her uncles and aunts. She would gladly have cut her arm off to avoid having to live through that. In fact, she knew she would have given her own life to spare them - the trail had taught her that. God had given her life, had given all of his children life, to be lived, and if necessary to be spent, for others. But standing here, witless with tedium, feeling as though she had been imprisoned within these walls, Sofia missed the hard freedom of that horrific time.
It was the same in school. Within a minute or two of sitting down at her desk at Northtown High, she would find her mind wandering. She had killed people. Shot them down as they raged and ran about during the gunfight at the Hy Top Club in Crockett. She had watched on as her father gutted two men, and she’d felt nothing bad about it. So it was just too much to ask, to expect her to sit indoors with a classroom full of drones and assholes, listening to the same old shit, day after day. And so much of it about a world that was gone.
The glass fogged up again. Her breath had come hot and fast as she’d grown agitated, thinking about the kid who was responsible for her being locked up like this.
Scotty Malleson. A jerk. He had been on her case for days.
Malleson was like that. He’d decide to get on someone’s case and then simply wouldn’t give up. He just rode them and rode them into the ground. And everyone had to put up with it, of course, because his father was on the North Kansas City Council and an even bigger asshole than little Scott. From what Sofia had heard, if you got on the wrong side of Councillor Malleson, you’d find yourself kicked out of your cosy government-approved apartment or house. Your easy eight-to-six job in an office somewhere could just disappear, overnight. And then you were suddenly living in one of the emergency shelters or migrant camps, shovelling dead-people goo out of whatever suburb the city had decided to reclaim next.
His father was powerful enough to buy the latest imported clothes, shipped direct from Seattle. No salvaged rags from Abercrombie & Fitch or American Eagle for his son. Only the best for little Scotty. It was Daddy Malleson’s way of waving his dick in everyone’s face and telling them to suck it up.
So people took the kid’s bullshit, and smiled and said thank you very much. But not Sofia.
She’d pretty much let it slide the first time Scotty had fronted her. She wasn’t at all intimidated when she’d taken her head out of her locker during morning recess to find herself surrounded by Malleson and his posse. Four more pathetic whitey bitch-boys who stood sneering as he loomed over her and said he’d heard she was a good ride.
All that time in the saddle. You know.
He was a great rider too. You know.
He tried to stop her as she moved to push past him, and she made a pointed fist, the trail-hardened knuckle forming a blunt spearhead, which she then drove up into his armpit with the speed of a striking rattler. He yelped as his arm spasmed and white-hot chain lightning ran down into his fingers.
Trudi had taught her that one too.
The next day, though, she’d known it was serious. You didn’t enrage a little boy like Scotty Malleson, and you really didn’t enrage and embarrass him in front of his posse. It meant he had to come back at you. The gossip mills were rolling hard with word on Scotty’s humiliation. It was much worse than the time Amy Place giggled at the size of his so-called ride. As Sofia moved down the purple and grey hallways, towards the school cafeteria, everyone gave her a wide berth. Guilt by association could be a very real problem where the Mallesons were concerned. Nothing happened, though. She spent the day on edge for no good reason.
The bus ride home was equally uneventful. Perhaps he was going to let it slide as well?
When she found him and his crew waiting on the steps outside the apartment block, Sofia realised she’d underestimated him. Scotty sneered as she approached. He was trying to look like the scariest motherfucker in the world, in his Hugo Boss jeans and Lacoste windcheater, and of course his well-dressed boyfriends were backing him up. But he was nothing. The lamest trail bandit she’d ever crossed could have frightened Scott Malleson into wetting his pants, just by saying ‘Boo!’ His eyes flicked nervously away from her own steady gaze, and she could’ve sworn his curled lip quivered just a little when she didn’t even break stride. This would have to be settled today, she knew, one way or the other.
Sofia didn’t even let him get a word in. She saw him physically gather up his resolve as he pushed himself off the steps. As soon as he got up in her face, she swung on the asshole, a short-arm roundhouse punch into the jaw. Put all of her body into the pivot, snapped her hips in there too. Felt the jawbone go under the impact, heard it crunch. But in the rush of the moment, she’d hit him the old-fashioned way. With her fist bunched up, leading with the knuckles.
Sofia knew it was a mistake less than half a heartbeat after she’d felt his jaw shatter, as pain suddenly lanced up through her wrist. It didn’t stop her swinging a boot into his face as he went down, and then again into his stomach when he’d hit the ground. And she still put her fists up when she spun around to face the others - when she could actually see she’d done something stupid. Her knuckles were badly damaged; one of them had been sort of pushed
But it was one of Scotty’s bitches who threw up when he saw it. And then Malleson Lite puked too. The posse all ran off, leaving their leader choking on his own vomit at her feet.
Sofia sighed now and left the arctic vista of the picture window. She clenched and unclenched that same fist. It still hurt.
She pushed the thermostat up a couple of degrees. The day was getting so cold, they might even need to draw the heavy curtains across the large, exposed windows of the former warehouse space, to keep in the heat. Rubbing at her swollen right hand again, she had to acknowledge that Papa was right: he had to be seen to punish her, or the boy’s father would become involved. Not that Malleson senior wasn’t straining like a pitbull at the end of his leash, anyway. Oh Lord, had there been trouble over Scotty’s broken face …
