I schlepped past the Cameo, took myself into Victoria Wine and got in some essentials.
‘Half Grouse, half Black Heart,’ I said.
Young girl on the counter smiled; was a wry, pitying smile. Made my heart flutter, don’t know why. Was well past hitting on chicks. That required far too much energy – something that was in very short supply right now.
‘Anything else?’ She wore an
My mind played a trick on me, said, ‘You know any good coffee shops around here?’
She blushed, thought I was gonna ask her for a date. ‘Erm, well… there’s the big Costa.’ She couldn’t keep eyes on me now, ran fingers through her black hair, tucked some behind her ear. God, I felt stupid… what was I thinking?
‘Okay, cheers… will give it a look.’
She turned to the till. Put that sympathy smile on again.
‘That’ll be-’
I cut in, ‘Oh, better give me forty Marlboro, too.’
‘No worries.’
She bagged the lot and I hoofed it up the street, cringing.
You spend your days alone, drinking – hard-core drinking – the finer points of human interaction become lost to you. I’d jettisoned all small chat long ago. If there was ever a store of pleasantries, nodding-dog patter, or plain-old mannered chit-chat… I’d bumped it. What I did have was a mine of rants. Bitter? Me? Christ on the Holy Cross… was I ever. Funny thing was, I’d never really bothered about it before now. I dredged up a line from some fucking daytime TV agony aunt or uncle: ‘Sometimes you have to hit rock bottom before you can bounce back.’ Had I fallen so low? The bottom of the pit couldn’t be that far away; whether I’d bounce when I hit it, though, that was the question. Way I felt right now, figured I’d just keep on falling straight through to the flames of hell.
Shook myself out of self-pity for long enough to order up a coffee in the big Costa. I saw what the chick in the offie meant, nice place indeed; but then, when you’ve driven every other coffee house within a country mile out of business, you can afford to be.
‘What can I get you, sir?’ said a lanky yoof, hefty bouffant giving off a bit of a New Romantic vibe there.
‘Coffee.’
A sigh. Was that a sigh? Surely not.
‘Hmm, we have latte, cappuccino, espresso-’
I held up a hand. ‘Whoa-whoa… spare me, eh? One white coffee, call it whatever you like, Prince Charming.’
He twisted his head, stuck out his neck like a giraffe going for low leaves. ‘What did you call me?’
‘Look, you have to remember… ridicule is nothing to be scared of!’
Handed over the cash, took a seat.
Was firing up the mobi contacts when the coffee came. Got it just about thrown at me, could see there being a gob or two in there. Like I gave a shit, took a sip and topped the lot up with my half-bottle of scoosh.
Found the number I was after. Wondered would it still be in use, figured it should, it hadn’t been that long since I’d spoken to Amy. With a bit of luck she’d be in the neighbourhood – her flat was around here – we needed to talk. Knew it would be the kind of conversation Hod wouldn’t approve of, but then he wasn’t running this show. Figured I could keep Amy’s involvement under the radar for a wee while at least until she’d proved useful… providing I could persuade her to help out that was.
Ringing.
A tightening in my chest – what was that? Conscience? Maybe. Perhaps Hod was right about keeping her out of this – the way she attracted trouble to herself. I needed the girl’s help, though. Told myself I’d keep a closer eye on her this time. Not let her get worked up with any radge ideas. That would do… surely.
Ringing.
‘Hello?’
She’d obviously cut me out of her contacts.
Said, ‘Hello, Amy.’
‘Gus… what in the fuck?’
I smiled into the phone. ‘Well, that’s quite the welcome.’
Got a laugh. It was a start.
‘Hey, if there’s one person I didn’t expect to hear from again, it’s your bold self… How’s it hanging, auld yin?’
This girl, I tell you, she had some moves.
‘To the left, yeah, that’d be right… Yerself?’
‘Just fucking peachy… Really good to hear from you, by the by, really good.’
Well, this was going all right… maybe a bit too well.
‘Look, reason I’m calling, Amy, is… well, I was wondering if you were about today?’
‘About? As in out and about?’
‘Yeah, y’know… for a chat.’
Silence on the line. Was that cogs turning? Had our Amy grown up a bit? Learned her lesson from hanging with me? I let the quiet gap stretch out, then heard: ‘A chat?’
Picked up a bit of derision in her tone; this was good. I was happy to hand her the moral high ground if it got me what I wanted.
‘Yeah, y’know, there’s some stuff that I thought you might-’
She cut in, ‘You asking me out, Gus?… That it?’
Fuck. Quandary. If I said yes, I was letting myself in for a whole heap of bother. If I said no, I risked bollixing it all up.
Played safe: ‘Well, what’s that mean these days, y’know… I mean… I was thinking it would be good to see you… to have a chat and that.’ Could feel myself begin to wince. ‘You still out Tollcross way?’
Another gap on the line.
Silence.
Then, a guffaw.
‘Yeah, I’m still on Lothian Road,’ she said.
‘Grand… grand… How do you fancy me treating you to a coffee, then?… I’m in Costa.’
Amy sparked up, ‘You treating me to a coffee… like, out the fucking blue, what’s that all about, Dury? You after something?’
‘Shit no. Y’know me, I drop off the radar now and again. Just thought it would be good to catch up, Ames.’
Day-glo-markered sarcasm: ‘Yeah, yeah, yeah… I know you!’
I tried to batten down the conversation, went for broke. ‘So, you coming or what? My shout.’
‘Why not? Student life’s been boring as fuck lately. Could do with some excitement, suppose!’
I laughed. ‘Can’t promise that.’
‘You don’t need to… trouble follows you around like bad aftershave. Get you in half an hour, Gus. I’ll dress for a night in the cells, just in case!’
Knew she was only joking; well, hoped she was. My conscience was already starting to wonder about what I was getting this girl into.
Young lad with the eighties vibe hovered. Carried a whiff of Stray Cats about him now – had been at the hair with some product. I wondered about this generation, by Christ I did. Amy, though, was slightly higher on the clued-up scale; by comparison this muppet hadn’t discovered fire yet.
‘I got something you want, lad?’
Bristles; got that shoulder-straightening thing. ‘Do you want another coffee?’
Threw him, ‘That’d be just grand. Thanks so much.’
I drained my cup, making sure there was no scoosh left sticking to the base. This close to Morningside, they tend to get a bit picky about things like that. Still, I was tweeded up, like they’d fucking mess.
‘Would you like anything with it?… We have jumbo cookies on special.’
Guess my look said that would be a no. He trotted off.
I had calls to make: was on the case, c’mon. There was never going to be a simple route to a solution, saw
