“Oh, don’t bother “
“Sure, I’ll make us both some coffee. Sit down, I’ll make the coffee.”
She went into the kitchen and I heard water running. I wandered around the living room. The furniture was old and the rug worn, but the pieces were comfortable together. I walked to the window. It faced out on a blank wall, an air shaft, but I pulled the shade anyway.
“The water’s up,” she said. “I only have instant, I hope it’s all right“
“Instant is fine.”
“Cream and sugar?”
“Just black is fine.”
“You’re like me, but I always put in an icecube so it cools faster. You want an icecube?”
“I’ll try it.”
We settled down on the couch with cups of black coffee. She curled her thin legs under her, and I caught an instant of
She said, Tve been here almost three years. I never brought anyone here before. Not even when it’s been very warm and the hotels just won’t let anybody in, not even girls they know well. I would always find a hotel in some other neighborhood where I could get in, maybe Twenty-third Street. Or I would just not work that night but I would never bring a trick here, not once.”
“I appreciate it.”
“But you’re not safe around Times Square, you know. I think the uniform is a very good idea, but even so someone is gonna recognize you sooner or later. Here, nobody knows you’re here. Except me.”
I lit us each a cigarette.
“Cause once the cops get you, you’re dead.”
“I know it”
“I wish I could say that I saw something, like somebody following you and Robin to the Maxfield. But I didn’t even see you pick her up. I was with somebody.”
“You told me.”
“Well, at the time I would of told you that anyway. Not to get involved, you understand?” She sipped her coffee. “Do you have any idea who did it? Any suspects?”
“Nothing much.”
“Tell me.”
So I did. I gave her the unabridged edition this time, all of it, front to back. She was the first person to hear the whole thing, and it did me good to tell it. She was just the right kind of sounding board. She stayed with every word, nodding to show that she was following me, interrupting now and then when she wanted a point cleared up. Linda disgusted her, MacEwan appalled her, and the problem of finding out who did what appeared to intrigue her.
She didn’t think much of my idea of picking up a girl and asking her questions. “No one would tell you anything,” she said. “They’d just run.”
“You didn’t run.”
“Well, I told you I was crazy.” She considered that. “What happened was I decided to trust you.”
“I trust you, too.”
“What’s to trust? What could I do to you?”
“Call the police.”
“Me?” She laughed. “The police and I”-holding up two fingers pressed together-“are not exactly like this.”
“Even so.”
“I hate to tell you this, I’m not proud of it, but I’ve been arrested. I’ve been in jail. Not just once. A few times.”
“That must be rough.”
“Rough! You know the House of Detention? In the Village?”
“I know where it is.”
She turned her eyes away. “I shouldn’t mention it. You can’t think much of me.”
“I was inside just once, but for a lot longer than you.”
“It’s different.”
“Maybe in some ways. I think I understand you better than you think, Jackie. You don’t have to worry about what you say to me.”
Long silence. Then, “There’s worse.”
“Oh?”
“Well, you probably know it already. One of the reasons I couldn’t stay at the hotel forever, I had to come back here.”
During the past few minutes her eyes had been running, and she had been sniffing nervously. I knew what was coming.
“You saw my arms.”
“Sure.”
“Well, then, you know.”
“Sure. You use stuff.”
“Yeah.”
“So?”
A longer silence this time. Then, “I have to fix now. I don’t want you to see me. It would make you sick.”
“No, it wouldn’t”
“I don’t mean sick, I mean you wouldn’t like me, seeing it. I want to go in the other room.”
“All right.”
“Alex?”
“What?”
“I’ll just be a minute.”
“All right.”
“You’ll stay here? You won’t leave? Because I think maybe I can help you. I mean finding out who did it. You won’t go?”
“Where would I go?”
“I don’t know. Away, I guess.”
“I won’t go anywhere.”
“Good.” She was rubbing at her eyes with the back of her hand. She got to her feet and walked quickly out of the room. “I’ll be right back, Alex. I won’t be more than a minute, I’ll be right back.”
18
THE CHANGE WAS INSTANTLY VISIBLE WHEN SHE RETURNED, IT was much more than a matter of pupil dilation. Her face, nervous and animated before she fixed, was now profoundly relaxed. She walked slowly, as if with cushioned feet, and her shoulders drooped. She sat on the couch, her feet out in front of her, and said, “Too bright, too bright,” and I went around turning off lights.
After awhile she said, “I was off for a whole year. I wasn’t working. There was this man. He lived in Scarsdale. Do you know where that is?”
“Yes.”
“I was never there. Is it nice?”
“Yes.”
“He was married. He paid for my apartment and gave me money, and I didn’t see anybody else. I saw him during the day, or sometimes he would stay over.” She closed her eyes. Her cigarette burned down, and I took it from between her fingers and put it out. Then she opened her eyes and looked at me. “I was in love with him,” she said.
