What Color Is Your Parachute?

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

REINHOLD NIEBUHR (1892–1971)

Chapter 4. How to Deal with Handicaps

Survival, as we saw in the previous chapter, begins with paying attention to our attitudes. And the one that counts the most is our attitude toward ourselves.

When we go job-hunting many of us think that we have some special handicap (hidden or obvious) that is going to keep us from getting a job. Our attitude is, I probably won’t be able to find a job because:

I have a physical handicap or

I have a mental handicap or

I never graduated from high school or

I never graduated from college or

I am just graduating or

I just graduated two years ago and am still unemployed or

I graduated way too long ago or

I am too beautiful or handsome or

I am too ugly or

I am too fat or

I am too thin or

I am too old or

I am too young or

I have only had one employer in life or

I have hopped from job to job way too often or

I am too near retirement or

I am too inexperienced or

I have a prison record or

I have a psychiatric history or

I have not had enough education and am underqualified or

I have too much education and am overqualified or

I am Hispanic or

I am Black or

I am Asian or

My English is not very good or

I speak heavily accented English or

I am too much of a specialist or

I am too much of a generalist or

I am ex-clergy or

I am ex-military or

I am too assertive or

I am too shy or

I have only worked for volunteer organizations or

I have only worked for small organizations or

I have only worked for a large organization or

I have only worked for the government or

I come from a very different culture or background or

I come from another industry or

I come from another planet.

In other words, our attitude toward ourselves in some cases basically boils down to acting as if there are only three weeks in our life, when we are employable!

Okay, fine! But if you think you have a handicap that will keep employers from hiring you, take heart! No matter what handicap you have, or think you have, it cannot possibly keep you from getting hired. It can only keep you from getting hired at some places.

ATTITUDE: YOU IN RELATION TO THE EMPLOYER

So, let’s look at some good attitudes toward yourself. When you are unemployed, this begins, not surprisingly, with how you think of yourself in relation to employers. The first thing to keep in mind is this:

There is no such thing as “employers.” They are not all the same tribe. Each of them is an individual. But as far as you are concerned, there are basically only two kinds of employers out there: employers who are interested in hiring you for what you can do; and employers who are not. With the latter you should thank them for their time, and ask if they know of any other employers who might be interested in someone with your skills. Then, gently take your leave. And write and mail them a thank-you note that very night. Then keep going until you find that other kind of employer: the one who only looks at what you can do, not at what you can’t.

The second thing you want to keep in mind, is that “handicap” is a loose term, referring to either job- hunters’ disabilities or employers’ prejudices. There is a difference, and you need to remember that.

Suppose you cannot hear. If you are considering a job that requires acute hearing, then that is a disability: it means there are certain skills you don’t have, that are essential, at least for that job.

But now let us suppose you can hear perfectly, but you are way overweight. If you are applying for that same job, this is not a disability unless it interferes with your ability to do that work. Nonetheless, a particular employer may be prejudiced against overweight people, and simply won’t hire you.

So, here’s the distinction: a disability is something within you. A prejudice is something within the employer.

Both may appear as handicaps that keep you from getting hired, but it is important to understand that a real handicap is a disability you have—you cannot do some important task required in that particular job. On the other hand, a prejudice is a phantom handicap. It may raise its ugly head in one particular interview or more, but if you keep on going, find the right employer, then poof!—the so- called handicap vanishes.

You must just be sure you don’t share some employers’ prejudices. That is, don’t look at yourself through their eyes. Look at yourself through your own eyes.

DETAILED STRATEGIES FOR DEALING WITH YOUR ATTITUDE TOWARD AGING