What Color Is Your Parachute?

subscription online, always study your credit card bill monthly, to see if they are continuing to charge you multiple times, when you thought it would only be once.

The fourth beast is called False Reviews. You will have to be on your guard against this one if you have your own business and/or your own website. Competitors may (can) pay someone to post rave reviews on their site (but not yours) or negative reviews on your site. Where do they go shopping for such helpful(!) people? Oh, from among their loyal friends, or by going to such otherwise innocent sites as fiverr (http://fiverr.com) and hiring someone to do it for them.

The fifth beast is called Rumors. You know, such things as “Steve Jobs is giving away trial iPads for $15”—that sort of thing. Go to www.snopes.com to find out what’s true, and what isn’t.

The sixth and final beast is The Social Media Site That Will Not Die. You go social, you try it out for a while, you want to terminate your account there, but you just can’t. You try everything, but nothing works. What now? Well, fortunately, there is a site designed to help you precisely with that problem. It’s called http://suicidemachine.org. Its sole mission is to help you get off social media sites you no longer want to be on; it works, too! (A similar site, Seppukoo, died in February of 2011. R.I.P.)

GETTING OFF THE INTERNET AND OUT INTO THE WORLD

Networking’s aim is to locate actual people. And after you have done your homework on yourself (chapter 13), and know what information you need, or what company you want an introduction to, you’re going to have to get out there and actually meet some of those people. Appointments, made beforehand, are virtually mandatory. Everyone in today’s world has their own life, their own plans, and you (usually) don’t want to just drop in unannounced. Yet, this is where many of us freeze.

First of all, we don’t know how to approach these people face-to-face. I think I can help you there. If it’s information you’re seeking, you send them an introductory note, letting them know how you’re connected to them and asking them whether they’d be willing to meet up with you for an eighteen-minute informational interview. That note, sent by e-mail preferably, can run something like this:

“I’m in need of more information about xxx, than I’ve been able to find out so far. I’m told you could be really helpful to me. I’m wondering if you could spare eighteen minutes of your time this week or next, for me to come over and ask you these questions I have about xxx. I’m not looking for a job at the moment, I’m just trying to find information, at the present. Could I make a brief appointment with you? I’m very good about observing time limits. I only need eighteen minutes, but I’d like it to be in person rather than just over the phone or through e-mails. Thanks very much for your courtesy.”

Make sure it’s really information you want, and don’t under any circumstances think this is just some clever way to get in and then ask for a job. You will spoil it for everyone who comes after you, if you turn out just to be a trickster.

If, on the other hand, it’s not information you need, but you’re at the point where you’ve found a company or vacancy that interests you, and now what you want is an introduction, your note might be more along these lines:

“You and I [here you mention what you two have in common—same college, same town or city you grew up in, same interest, same love of movies or whatever, etc.]. And I’m told you know the people over at [here you mention the name of the organization or company]. Do you think we could meet for coffee or something, as I have a few matters I need your advice on. I’ll stick strictly to our time limit. I only need twenty minutes. Thanks for your courtesy, if you can do this for me; I really appreciate it.”

If they respond, “Sure,” then prepare your questions carefully before going over there, write them out—to avoid nervous amnesia—dress well, get there early, appear on their doorstep only at the appointed time (or two minutes before), and relax.

Now, what’s going to torpedo you? What handicap lies in wait? Oh, any number of things, but I think “shyness” heads the top of the list. Call it anything else if you will—fear, anxiety, nervousness, sweating—but “shyness” is the historic word for it. We who are absolute experts in using and manipulating Facebook, LinkedIn, and the other social media, turn into jellyfish when it comes to actually going face-to-face with our network, or with an employer.

Yup, a lot of us who are shy would never think to use that word to describe ourselves. But actually, an incredible number of us are or have been shy at some point in our lives. Surveys have found as many as 75 percent of us have been painfully shy at some point in our lives. (This always comes as a great surprise to my European friends, because they picture Americans as assertive, aggressive, and similar words. Ah, some of us are, I guess. But that’s not who most of us are, especially when we’re out of work.)

So, what to do?

SHYNESS VS. ENTHUSIASM

Throughout the job-hunt and career-change, the key to “Informational Interviewing” is not found in memorizing a dozen questions about what you’re supposed to say.

No, the key is just this one thing: now and always, make sure you are talking about something you feel passionate about.

Enthusiasm is the key—to enjoying “interviewing,” and conducting effective interviews, at any level. What this exercise teaches us is that shyness always loses its power and its painful self-consciousness—if and when you are talking about something you love.

For example, if you love gardens you will forget all about your shyness when you’re talking to someone else about gardens and flowers. “You ever been to Butchart Gardens?”

If you love movies, you’ll forget all about your shyness when you’re talking to someone else about movies. “I just hated that scene where they …”

If you love computers, then you will forget all about your shyness when you’re talking to someone else about computers. “Do you work on a Mac or a PC?”

That’s why it is important that it be your enthusiasms that you are exploring and pursuing in these conversations with others.

The late John Crystal often had to counsel the shy. They were often frightened at the whole idea of going to talk to people for information, never mind for hiring. So John developed a system to help the shy. He suggested that before you even begin doing any Informational Interviewing, you first go out and talk to people about anything just to get good at talking to people. Thousands of job-hunters and career-changers have followed his advice, over the past thirty years, and found it really helps. Indeed, people who have followed John’s advice in this regard have had a success rate of 86 percent in finding a job—and not just any job, but the job or new career that they were looking for.

Daniel Porot, Europe’s premiere job-hunting expert, has taken John’s system, and brought some organization to it. He observed that John was really recommending three types of interviews: this interview we are talking about, just for practice. Then Informational Interviewing. And finally, of course, the hiring-interview. Daniel decided to call these three the “The PIE Method,” which has now helped thousands of job-hunters and career-changers in both the U.S. and Europe.[24]