nobody wants to make a mistake.”
“Thanks. Right now, we’re on schedule. Kali’s already reached the Candy Castle. I’ve lost my last game. Are we having fun, Kali?”
“Yep.”
“As long as no one tries to come into our hiding place, we’ll keep on having fun.” Gabe’s pleasant tenor is soothing. “Kali knows exactly how it’s going to be. She’s wearing her magic pajamas with the stars that shine in the dark, and…Kali, why don’t you tell Mummy what’s going to happen?”
“Won’t that wreck the surprise?” Kali asks.
When she hears her daughter’s voice, Robin bows her head.
“No,” Gabe says. “Because Mummy doesn’t need to see us getting the surprise ready. She just needs to see what we’ve done.”
“So it will still be a surprise for her,” Kali says.
“It will still be a surprise,” Gabe agrees.
“Okay. Mummy when the clock strikes twelve, Gabe’s going to turn out the lights so we can see the moons and stars on my pajamas light up in the dark, and we’re going to watch them until we fall asleep.”
“Oh god!” Robin’s moan is primal-the cry of a trapped animal.
“Time to get ready,” Gabe says. “Let’s turn out the lights. Wow, Kali-the moon and stars on your pajamas really do glow in the dark.”
“When I move my arms, I can turn the stars into shooting stars,” Kali says. “Look Gabe!”
“That’s so beautiful, Kali. Now I’m going to push your sleeve up just a tiny bit. I’ll bet the moon and the stars shine even brighter when they get really close together.”
Beside me, Robin folds in on herself like a broken doll.
“Oh god,” she says. “He’s going to do it.”
Nova is on the phone in the control room. Suddenly her voice comes over the talkback. “Charlie, Danny’s on line one. He wants to talk to Gabe.”
“Danny’s hanging on by a thread himself,” I say. “I don’t think he’s capable of…”
I switch on my microphone.
“Gabe, there’s someone who wants to talk to you.”
“I’m tired of talking, Charlie D.”
“Then just listen. Remember Danny? He called in earlier about his brother’s death?”
Gabe doesn’t respond. As the silence on the other end of the line grows longer, I wonder if I’m too late.
“Gabe?” I say. He doesn’t answer. The next time I call his name, I realize I’m shouting.
“I’m here,” he says finally. “I’ll listen to Danny.”
When Danny called in earlier, it was agonizing to hear him speak, but dealing with a problem outside himself seems to free Danny from his demons. The stutter is gone. His voice is heartbreakingly young and urgent, and his message is clear.
“Gabe, you have to listen,” he says, “because I’m probably the only person you’ll hear from who’s actually killed another person. Even if you only live one second after you kill that little girl, that one second will be too long. You’ll die knowing that you changed everything.
“In physics, we studied this thing called the butterfly effect. It’s about how if a butterfly in the Amazon jungle flaps its wings, that butterfly may eventually change the weather everywhere.
“My brother, Liam, was getting really good with his drums. He might have been a really great drummer. And he was smart-really smart. He might have been the person who found a cure for cancer or stopped global warming. He might have done all kinds of things. I think about that all the time.
“I don’t know Kali, but you do. If you kill her, you change everything. Don’t do it. Let her have her chance to change the weather.”
Robin reaches for her mike.
“Danny’s right,” she says. “If you do this, we’ll never know what Kali could have been- what she could have done. Gabe, she might even have been able to help me.”
“You’ve never needed help.”
“I do now,” Robin says simply.
Gabe doesn’t respond. As the silence continues, I imagine the worst. Gabe pushing up Kali’s sleeve, touching her cheek, injecting the saxitoxin in her small arm. I look at Robin, and I know from the pain knifing her face that the movie playing in her head is the same as the movie playing in mine.
Suddenly there are voices on Gabe’s end of the line. They are loud and commanding-the voices of police officers barking orders. I can hear only fragments of what they say, but the broken shards paint a dismal picture.
“He’s still alive.”
“Stay right where you are, Dr. Ireland.”
“Christ, he must have already killed the girl. She’s not moving.”
Robin begins repeating Kali’s name in a kind of lament.
There’s more shouting and then… Gabe’s voice, very calm.
“Put down your guns. Kali’s just sleeping. Midnight is late for a six-year-old, and this six-year-old has had a big day. I’m not a threat to anyone-not even myself. The hypodermic and the saxitoxin are on the other side of the room.Danny was right. Kali deserves her chance to change the weather.”
All night, Nova’s body has been drawn in on itself with tension. Now she raises her arms in a gesture of relief and triumph. Robin rips off her headset and grabs her coat and briefcase. But instead of moving toward the door, she comes over to me with her hand extended.
“I don’t know how to thank you,” she says.
“You just did.” I take her hand. It’s cool and smooth. “Robin, go easy on Gabe,” I say.
She nods, but her face is impassive.
It’s time to get back to work. I turn on the microphone and find my signature warm-honey voice. “My name is Charlie Dowhanuik, and you are listening to ‘The World According to Charlie D.’ It’s October thirty-first, the Day of the Dead, and our topic tonight is Death.” I pause. “So, lessons learned? The big one, I guess, is that nobody knows what happens after we die. That’s why what we do here and now matters so much. There’s a riddle that’s helped me through the night more than once. ‘What three words make you sad when you’re happy and happy when you’re sad?’ The answer is ‘Nothing lasts forever.’
“So tonight if you’re one of the lucky ones, and your lover or your child is in your arms, hold them close. Cherish the moment. Love is as fragile as luck. If you’re alone and your heart is breaking, don’t despair. Our grandmothers were right. Tomorrow is another day, and nothing lasts forever. Now, let’s let Green Day take us out with that oldie but goody,‘Time of Your Life.’”
