The Nesting Dolls

big deal. Give me a minute to find my chequebook.”

When the Wainbergs arrived, I told Isobel that Taylor was in her studio and that Pablo Neruda’s Odes to Common Things was somewhere on her desk. Isobel’s face lit up. “I love Neruda,” she said before dashing off to get the book.

Noah’s complexion was usually ruddy with health, but that morning, he was grey and careworn. After Isobel wandered down the hall to Taylor’s bedroom, I poured him a cup of coffee. “Are you okay?” I said.

“I’m fine. I guess none of us is getting any younger. How’s the man in your life?”

“His nurse, Kym, whom I am delighted to discover is a strapping young man, is here to keep track of him and decide when he’s ready to confront the world again.”

Noah added cream and sugar to his coffee. “Delia will be relieved to know that Zack’s being well taken care of.”

“How about you?” I said.

“I have broad shoulders, and we seem to be moving in the right direction. Did Zack tell you that Nadine Perrault and I agreed to call off the private investigators?”

“He did, and it’s good news. As the needlepoint pillow my grandmother gave me says, ‘Least said, soonest mended.’ I keep the pillow in my office at the university. It’s been very helpful over the years.”

Noah gave me a sidelong glance. “If they handed that pillow out to new lawyers, the litigation rate in this country would drop by 90 per cent.”

“Would that be a bad thing?”

He smiled. “I don’t get a vote. A lawyer who doesn’t practise is a eunuch.”

I sat down opposite him. “Well, I’m not a lawyer, and I think that as a husband and father you’re handling this very well. One way or another, you and Delia are going to have a permanent relationship with Nadine. You don’t want to start out under a cloud of accusations and counter-accusations.”

“Agreed. There’s been enough ugliness. It’s time to turn the page. Nadine and I discussed something along the lines of an open adoption.”

“But Jacob would live with you and Delia.”

Noah’s blue eyes flashed. “Absolutely. That issue was never on the table. Nadine’s a realist. She knows that if this case came to court, she’d lose.” The tension left his face. “The point is that there isn’t going to be a court case. Nadine was remarkably open about her mental state. Mourning Abby is taking a heavy toll. Nadine says she’s exhausted and is having difficulty concentrating. We agreed that Jacob deserves better.”

“He does,” I said, “and so does Nadine. Finding out the hard way that she isn’t capable of giving Jacob what he needs would only be another blow for her. My children weren’t as young as Jacob when their father died, but I still cringe when I remember how badly I failed them during those first months. It was all I could do to get out of bed in the morning.”

Noah looked at me hard. “That doesn’t sound like you.”

“I wasn’t like me,’ I said. “I know what Nadine’s going through because I’ve been through it. And it’s more than just the loss of a partner you love, it’s believing that the death was absolutely arbitrary – a case of being in the wrong place at the wrong time.”

“I don’t think I ever heard how your husband died.”

“The newspapers called it ‘The Good Samaritan Murder.’ Ian was coming back to Regina from a funeral in Swift Current. There was a blizzard. The driver of a stranded car flagged him down and when Ian got out to help, the driver and her boyfriend beat him to death with a tire iron.”

Noah stared at his coffee cup. “I’m sorry, Jo. I didn’t know.”

“For months, the authorities treated Ian’s murder as a chance occurrence – a case of someone being in the wrong place at the wrong time.”

“Like Abby.”

“Exactly,” I said. “And, Noah, you have no idea how terrible it was. I’d been so certain that I could build a cocoon around our family by cooking balanced meals, observing the speed limit, and making regular appointments for us all to get our medical and dental check-ups. Losing Ian to what seemed like an existential blowout made me question the underpinnings of my life.”

“And you think that’s what Nadine’s going through?”

“I do. Abby was a woman who left nothing to chance; yet she was raped and murdered by a stranger in a strange city. When something like that happens, the old safe world disappears, and there’s nothing to hold onto – at least that’s the way it was for me.”

“Nadine says she’s dreading going back to the house she and Abby shared. I suggested she stay in Regina for a while. She could spend time with Jacob and get to know us a little better.”

“How does Delia feel about that?”

“I haven’t asked her,” Noah said. “I’m hoping to enlist Zack’s support.”

As if on cue, Zack wheeled into the room, Pantera at his side.

“Enlist my support in what?” he asked.

“Noah thinks it’s time to be conciliatory towards Nadine,” I said. “I agree. A little kindness at this point will ease tensions, and we could all use that.” I kissed his forehead. “I’d better get moving. The sooner I leave, the sooner I can come home.”

“I’m for that,” Zack said. “Hey, you forgot the cheque.”

He handed me the envelope and I dropped it in my bag. Pantera looked anxious. I patted his head. “Take care of Zack,” I said. “If anybody suspicious shows up, remember your command and push.”

Since the evening of the Luther concert, our holidays had been short on comfort and joy, but the sheltered world of UpSlideDown offered both in abundance. Mieka and the girls had decorated the tree with children’s mittens, scarves, and toques – all donated, all destined for good homes. The air smelled of brewing coffee and fresh baking; in the background, very softly, a CD of children’s songs was playing one of my favourites, the lullaby from Humperdinck’s Hansel and Gretel. No child was crying. No child was screaming. No child was having a tantrum. It was a fragile peace, but it was good enough for me.

Mieka was standing at the entrance to the kitchen talking to a young woman wearing a Saskatchewan Roughriders ski jacket and toque. When my daughter spotted me, she motioned me over.

“Mum, this is Lisa Wallace from the Core Rec Centre,” she said. “Lisa, this is my mum, Joanne Shreve.”

I reached into my bag. “Perfect timing,” I said, handing her the gift certificates. “I was just dropping these off for the teenaged boys on your list.”

“Thanks,” Lisa said. “Adolescent boys like to swagger, but they’re still just kids, and they look forward to the Core Rec party.”

“And I have a cheque from my husband.” I held it out to Lisa.

“This is a godsend,” she said. “With the recession we’ve had a lot of corporate donors pull out.”

“Zack’s a trial lawyer,” I said. “I think every year is a good year for them.”

Lisa eyed the envelope. “Would it be rude if I peeked to see how good?”

“Be my guest,” I said.

She ripped open the envelope and glanced at the cheque. “Wow,” she said. “That’s more than generous, Joanne. We’ll send your husband a tax receipt, of course, but until I get it in the mail, please tell him we’re very grateful.”

“When Zack was growing up, he spent a lot of time in places like Core Rec. I guess it all comes around.”

Lisa looked thoughtful. “It’s surprising how often it does,” she said. She zipped her jacket. “I’ll see you at the party, Mieka. Nice meeting you, Joanne, and thanks again.”

“My pleasure.”

“Lisa has a tough job,” I said.

“She does,” Mieka said, “and she gets paid zip, but she believes in what she does. I believe in what she does, too. She and I have talked about opening an UpSlideDown in the Core. Minimal charge, but mums and dads would have to stay in the playroom with their kids, the way parents do here.” Mieka took my arm. Her eyes shone, and her tone was fervent. “The idea is first for the kids to have fun and second for parents, who are often very young, to learn parenting skills. Nothing heavy-handed – just learning by observing and doing. The mums and dads who come to UpSlideDown are always telling me how watching other families helps them figure out how to handle problems or