like to be touched by him.
Now she knew, and that awareness sent currents of pleasure skittering down her spine. At no time in her life had she considered the possibility that there would be a man with whom she could be completely, utterly herself. She’d never let herself dream that such a man existed. That would have been expecting too much, and Madeline Casey had spent her life lowering her expectations, lest she be disappointed. Finding herself now involved with such a man was more than she’d ever hoped for. It was also, quite possibly, the most frightening thing she’d ever had to face.
Her eyes came open to stare unseeingly at the wall. She was petrified. To take a chance caring about someone the way she did Cruz was to risk losing much more than she’d ever had to lose before. It would hurt more than she was sure she could bear. She was a strong person, she knew that. But it had been much easier to be strong when the stakes had not been quite this high.
She could feel the tension creep back into limbs that had, until a minute ago, been completely relaxed. It could all be gone in a second. If Cruz should find out about her investigation of him, their relationship would be over before it ever really had a chance to start. And more than anything else in the world she wanted that relationship to have a chance. Cautious hope bloomed in her every time she thought about the possibility of allowing herself to trust, to love a man completely. That hope was dashed each time she faced the bitter certainty that to tell him the truth would destroy her chances with him.
“What’s wrong?” His low voice sounded in her ear. He’d felt her stiffening, and wondered at the cause. For a moment his hands stilled, afraid in that instant that there would be a repeat of her withdrawal, as had happened the first time they’d made love. He knew he would not be able to react as calmly this time if that should happen. A baser, more primitive side of his nature would take hold.
But her answer the next moment banished that fear and sent relief coursing through his veins instead. “Nothing,” she whispered, snuggling closer against his chest. “Nothing at all.”
And as his arms wrapped around her, Madeline made a vow to herself. Cruz would never learn of her part in the investigation. She would make certain of that.
Chapter 15
Morning came damn early, Cruz groused silently as he followed Madeline down the spiral staircase. The sky was still gray outside, night barely lifted, the moon still visible. He resented the need for them to rise so early, resented that she had to leave him at all, even for a couple of hours.
He had it bad, he admitted, jerking a tennis shoe over a bare foot and lacing it up. Because, to be truthful, he wouldn’t like any reason that took Maddy from his bed.
Casting a careful eye at Cruz’s set expression, she correctly guessed his mood, if not the cause. “You wake up grouchy,” she noted. “I’m delighted.”
“I don’t usually,” he contradicted her. He finished getting dressed and they walked out of the apartment. “I just don’t like having to do this.”
“You don’t have to walk me to my car,” she informed him for what seemed the hundredth time. “I know the way.”
“Yes, I
Reaching her car, she grasped the door handle. “And what would you have me do, Martinez?” she asked teasingly. “Show up for work wearing yesterday’s clothes? Or, no, wait, maybe I could find something in your closet to wear.”
She rolled her eyes comically, but the thought remained to tantalize him. Somehow the thought of her wearing something of his, with very little else, of course, was a provocative mental image. But right now they had something more important to think about.
“What I would have you do,” he said seriously, “is to consider bringing some things over so that we don’t have to do these early-morning goodbyes again.”
His words startled her, even as they brought a rush of warmth to her heart.
He interpreted her silence as unwillingness, and mentally cursed his timing. Now wasn’t the right time to discuss this. No, the right time would have been when she was in his bed, her body warm from his, her lips still moist from his kisses. He’d been half surprised by the words as they’d left his mouth, but the moment they had he’d realized just how long he’d been subconsciously waiting for this moment. He wanted to know that he would wake up beside her each morning, and go to bed with her every night. He wanted to be certain that her earlier wariness of getting too close to him was gone, and to be very sure that it would never recur.
He wanted, he thought ruefully, a lot of things. And judging by her lack of response, he wasn’t going to get all of them, at least not right away. But he was a patient man. He’d take a little step now and push for more later.
It was with that thought in mind that he lowered his head and sealed her mouth with his own. He caught her unaware, much as his suggestion had, and he took full advantage of her slightly parted lips. His tongue pressed into her mouth in a sure, smooth stroke and Madeline’s knees weakened in an immediate, involuntary response.
Her purse dropped to the ground as she reached up to slide her hands across his shoulders, gripping them for support as she returned his kiss achingly. He kissed her with shattering absorption, heedless of their lack of privacy. She didn’t know how he did it, how he could so effortlessly drive away every thought, every concern she might have, until there was no thought left at all, only an answering need.
When he finally raised his head and looked at her, he had to fight an overpowering urge to take her back to bed again. Her cheeks were flushed, her eyes heavy lidded and glittering. And her mouth… his groin tightened as he noted the slightly swollen lips.
“You fight dirty, Martinez,” she said in a slow, drugged-sounding voice.
His mouth went to her neck. “Then you’ll consider my suggestion?” The sharp nip he inflicted was immediately soothed by his tongue, and her attention was divided between his words and the sensations that were racing through her.
“All right,” she agreed in that same husky murmur.
That voice had a direct reaction on him, and he had to step away from her to keep himself from reaching for her again. He leaned forward and kissed her lightly, being careful not to touch her anywhere else. He bent to pick up her purse and handed it to her. “Good.” His low voice rumbled. “Drive safely. I’ll see you in a couple of hours.” He waited until her car was driving away before a satisfied grin swept his face as he recalled what her words had implied. Whistling, he reentered his apartment building. He might as well finish varnishing the floor before he got ready for work. It would be an excellent way to work off his sudden energy, and to keep his mind off what she’d just promised.
Madeline had barely gotten inside her apartment before her doorbell rang. Sighing, she went to the door, and almost forgot to look into the peephole before she pulled the door open. That was a measure of just how much of an effect Cruz Martinez had on her, she mused as she stood aside to allow Ariel to enter. She seemed to be throwing all her caution out the window lately. And somehow she couldn’t bring herself to care.
“Well, well, if that isn’t a satisfied smile, I’ve never seen one,” Ariel drawled as she entered her friend’s apartment.
“Good morning to you, too,” Madeline answered.
“I was up early and saw your light. Thought I’d come over for some coffee. I called last night, but you must have been out until late. I can’t believe you’re up and dressed already, you’re a real early bird this morn-” Ariel’s chatter abruptly stopped as she strolled into the kitchen and noticed the coffeemaker wasn’t on. She frowned. One thing she knew about her friend was that she reached for a cup of coffee as soon as she stumbled out of bed in the morning. And since she was dressed, she must have been up for some time. She turned to survey Madeline, who
