Mrs Pargeter 01; A Nice Class of Corpse

“Yes, indeed. Will come to us all, though.” Mr Dawlish was suddenly and unaccountably struck by the humour of what he had said, and let out another of his manic giggles.

“Oh yes. ‘Don’t ask who the bell tolls for’,” the Colonel misquoted again. “‘It’s for you’.”

“Is that a ketch?” asked Dawlish, abruptly pointing out to a smudge on the darkening sea.

Colonel Wicksteed’s binoculars shot up to his eyes. It was too dark to distinguish anything through the bay window, but he pronounced with authority, “No, no. Some bloody nouveau riche gin- palace.”

“Ah.” Mr Dawlish nodded, content with the answer.

¦

“What is so sad…” Eulalie Vance dropped her voice thrillingly low on the word “…is that we could be the only people at the funeral.”

“You don’t know that,” said Miss Wardstone combatively.

“Well, no one ever came to see her here, did they?”

“Doesn’t necessarily mean she hadn’t got anyone. Lots of people never visit their elderly relatives while they’re alive and then turn up gushing tears at their funerals.” Miss Wardstone spoke as bitterly as if she anticipated suffering in the same way herself, but since the spinster’s customary manner was one of bitterness, Mrs Pargeter did not allow herself to form any conclusions from this.

“Oh, I know. But it must be terrible to feel that no one cares. That’s one of the advantages of living a full life, you know. Oh, there’s pain and heartbreak, of course…But I do like to think that when I die, there will be one or two people left in whom a little spark of memory still glows. That is,” Eulalie added archly, “unless I live to a very great age.”

Predictably, this was greeted by a sniff from Miss Wardstone. “Depends usually on whether the person who dies had any money or not. If they think they’re in with a chance of inheriting something, it’s surprising how many relatives suddenly come out of the skirting board.”

“Well, Mrs Selsby always gave the impression of being extremely…comfortable,” observed Eulalie.

“Comfortable? She was loaded,” Miss Wardstone snapped. “Her jewellery alone was worth more than most people’s life savings.”

The mention of jewellery brought both of them unconsciously to turn and look at the newest resident of the Devereux. Mrs Pargeter studiously peered into her teacup.

Miss Wardstone realised she was staring and snapped her beady eyes away. “Oh well, it will be interesting to see who does inherit, won’t it, Miss Vance?”

Yes, thought Mrs Pargeter. It most certainly will.

¦

“It is distressing,” commented Lady Ridgleigh to no one in particular, “how much people are obsessed by money.”

“Money does come in handy,” said Mrs Pargeter judiciously, looking across at the speaker. Lady Ridgleigh was wearing a silk dress in pale green and beige Paisley. Around her neck were the same strings of pearls, unsuitable with this ensemble, lost in the colours of the pattern.

“Oh, I agree one needs it, Mrs Pargeter, but one ought not to have to think about it. That’s why one employs little men like bankers and accountants.”

“Yes. You certainly need someone around who’s good with money.”

“I suppose so.” Lady Ridgleigh dismissed the idea airily. “Froggie – my husband – was not good with money.”

“I was lucky. Mr Pargeter was very good to me. Very generous.”

Lady Ridgleigh was piqued by the implicit criticism. “It’s not an issue of generosity. Froggie was extraordinarily generous. To a fault, perhaps. Generous to everyone. I suppose that’s why he lost all our money.”

“Couldn’t you have stopped him?” asked Mrs Pargeter, appalled at the idea.

“Good heavens, no. If a man can’t lose his own money, what rights does he have?”

“But weren’t you furious?”

“About the fact that he lost it? Good heavens, no. Mind you, the thought of some of the people he lost it to still rankles.” Lady Ridgleigh turned her head graciously to look at Mrs Pargeter. “Tell me, what was Mr Pargeter’s money in?”

Mrs Pargeter coloured. “Oh, come, come, Lady Ridgleigh, you wouldn’t answer if I asked you what Froggie’s money was in, would you?”

“Of course I would. It was quite simple. His was in the family.”

Mrs Pargeter smiled. “Well, so’s Mr Pargeter’s now.”

¦

At that moment there was a commotion in the Seaview Lounge. Mrs Mendlingham had raised her teapot to pour another cup of tea and suddenly lost control of it. The pot had fallen, catching the edge of her tray, which was not centred on its table, and sending everything flying.

Mrs Mendlingham rose to her feet, whimpering, though whether she was in pain from the hot tea that stained the front of her grubby skirt, or whether, as the wildness of her eyes suggested, some sudden memory had upset her, it was hard to tell.

Mrs Pargeter went forward to take her arm, and was once again aware of the acrid smell that emanated from the old lady. This time there was no mistaking; it was stale urine.

“There. Are you all right?”

“Yes. Yes, I’m sorry.” The wild, faded eyes tried to focus on Mrs Pargeter’s.

“What’s the matter? What’s upsetting you?”

“I just…I just remembered something.”

“What was it?”

“Well, I saw…” But the confidence stopped short. A light of cunning came into the old eyes. “I’m sorry. My memory’s not good these days. It comes and goes, you know.”

“I think we all find that,” said Mrs Pargeter soothingly, trying to re-establish the confessional intimacy.

“But it seems to be getting worse. Sometimes I completely forget what I’ve done, can’t remember if I’ve eaten meals or…”

“Don’t worry about it. Worrying just makes it worse.”

“I’ve tried all kinds of things to make it better. Trying to concentrate, talk to people about things. At one stage I tried just writing down everything that happened.”

“A sort of diary?”

Mrs Mendlingham nodded.

“That sounds a good idea. Do you still keep it?”

Again the shutter of cunning seemed to flick across the old eyes. “Oh, no. Not any more. I’ve given that up. It didn’t work.”

“I’m surprised. Still, never mind.”

“No.”

Mrs Pargeter had by now manoeuvred the old lady back into her armchair. “Can you remember what it was that frightened you? Do you want to talk about it?”

The old head was shaken vigorously. “I can’t remember. It comes and goes, the memory. Sometimes things are very clear, and sometimes I just can’t remember what I’ve done. There are great big blanks in my life. Great… big…blanks.” She lingered over the words, then, again suddenly devious, added, “Which is perhaps just as well.”

Further conversation was halted by the majestic entry of Miss Naismith from the hall. “I heard a noise,” she announced, and moved across to stand accusingly over the wreckage of Mrs Mendlingham’s tea.

“An unfortunate accident,” said Mrs Pargeter in a conciliatory tone.

“Yes,” Miss Naismith agreed frostily.

Mrs Mendlingham shrank into her armchair, avoiding the proprietress’s eye.

Mrs Pargeter continued to mediate. “Mrs Mendlingham suddenly remembered something that upset her. You know, as she says, her memory is a little erratic.”