Then, to annoy her even further, David apparently insisted the handset should be brought to Lily so that her grandfather could coo at her and hope to prompt some responsive gurgling.
Carole was extremely relieved when the phone call ended. She reckoned it was a simple demonstration of power play from David. All right, she’d won the prize of having the family for Christmas Day, but he was going to ensure that no one forgot about his existence.
“Good,” she said, brightly brittle. “I think we can go through for lunch now.”
“Dad sounded OK,” said Stephen, “though it must be a bit lonely for him spending Christmas with strangers.”
“I’m sure he’s coping.”
“But, Mother, he doesn’t know these people in Swiss Cottage very well.”
‘Mother’. And David was ‘Dad’. Carole wanted to ask why her son couldn’t call her ‘Mum’, as he sometimes did. But of course she didn’t say that. Instead, she just almost snapped, “I’m sure Christmas lunch is giving him an opportunity to know them better.”
“Yes, but – ”
“I think, if we could go through for our lunch…”
The awkwardness passed, of course. And once they were into the meal, and Lily was providing the cabaret by smearing her Lamb and Tasty Vegetables all over everything, the atmosphere relaxed. But Carole did not forget what she regarded as David’s shabby behaviour.
After lunch it had been thought that Lily might be ready for another sleep, but she seemed to be responding to the occasion and was very wakeful. So Carole led the way through to the sitting room to gather round the tiny tree for the ceremony of present-giving.
Obviously they started with Lily. A lot of her presents were still up in Fulham, but Stephen and Gaby had brought with them what they were giving her. They also produced, to Carole’s further irritation, David’s present for his granddaughter, which she noted was much bigger than her own.
But Lily avoided a one-upmanship contest between her grandparents. With even-handed tact, she again did what was expected of her, ignoring the presents completely and appearing to find the wrapping paper much more interesting.
Carole was expecting what she usually got from Stephen, which was – though she hadn’t dared mention the fact to Jude – Lily of the Valley toilet water. She’d never, before her neighbour raised the issue, thought that it might make her feel old and unglamorous. But then a lot of the time Carole Seddon did feel old and unglamorous.
She was therefore surprised to open a small parcel containing a diamante brooch in the shape of a snow- flake. Carole didn’t as a rule wear much jewellery, but she rather liked the look of what she’d been given and immediately pinned it on to her front. She was almost effusive in her thanks, particularly to Gaby, who she felt sure had done the actual shopping.
Then it was her daughter-in-law’s turn to open her present. Carole watched with some trepidation as the careful wrapping was dismantled and its contents revealed. “That is marvellous!” shrieked Gaby, immediately wrapping the boa round her neck, then going to wrap its loose end around Lily’s neck too. The baby gurgled and pushed a bit of the feathery stuff into her mouth. Once the choking hazard had been averted, Stephen whipped out his camera to record the photo opportunity.
“It’s bloody great!” said Gaby. “One of those presents where I had no idea what I wanted, but now you’ve given it to me, I know it’s exactly what I wanted. A bit of glamour – God, I need that after the last year. Carole, you must just have seen this in the shop and thought, ‘That boa has Gaby written all over it’!”
“Well, yes, that’s more or less what happened,” her mother-in-law lied.
Then came the moment for Stephen to open his present. Carole had put everything in the same parcel, which inevitably had the bulk and shape of two shirts. He picked it up and weighed in his hands. “Now I wonder what this could be…” he said archly before starting carefully to undo the ribbon.
The third object had been placed between the two others, so the first thing he saw was a shirt. A Marks and Spencer’s shirt, no less. Sober, pale blue, no pattern. And beneath it he could see another shirt. Sober, white, no pattern.
“Oh, Mother, that’s great,” he said. “Just what I wanted.”
“Well, you can never have too many shirts, can you, Stephen?”
“No, that’s true.” He made to put them down on the floor.
“There is actually something else.”
“What?”
“Between the shirts. There’s something else.”
“Oh.” His brow furrowed as he reached into the space and pulled out the packet containing the Glow-in-the- dark Computer Angel. “Ah,” he said, his brow furrowing even more. “What is it?”
“It’s what it says, Steve,” his wife prompted him. “A Glow-in-the-dark Computer Angel.”
“Right.” Puzzled, he turned the packaging over in his hands. “And what does it do?”
“Read what it says on the front,” Carole suggested.
He looked at the words and slowly read, “‘Your Computer Angel deals with all your computer problems, glitches and viruses. Just wind her up and her flapping wings will spread her protection over your desktop or laptop. And when you turn the lights off, your Computer Angel will glow in the dark.’” His face turned blankly to his mother’s. “How does it work?”
“What do you mean?”
“Well, is it an anti-virus protection? Because I don’t see any software with it.”
“No, no, it’s – ”
“And there doesn’t seem to be a USB connection.”
“No, there isn’t.”
“So how can it deal with all my ‘computer problems, glitches and viruses’?”
“Well, it may not actually be able to do that.”
“But, Mother, it says it can.”
“Yes, but it’s more…It’s just a nice thing to stick on your computer.”
“Why?”
“Well…Because, when you wind it up, its wings flap.”
“Why would you want its wings to flap?”
“And it glows in the dark.”
“But what use would that be? You wouldn’t be using a computer in the dark, would you?”
“Oh, for heaven’s sake, Steve,” said Gaby in some exasperation, “it’s a joke.”
“A what?”
“It’s just a fun thing to have on your computer.”
“A fun thing?”
“Yes.”
“Why?”
“Because it
And normal Christmas service was resumed. Oh well, you can’t get everything right with presents, thought Carole. And Gaby was very pleased with her boa.
They left soon after four. Lily, her mother reckoned, would be asleep before the car reached the end of the road. And as she tidied up the substantial remains of the lavish lunch, Carole reflected that it had really all worked very well. A family Christmas Day, just like proper families had. A perfect day, except for a couple of details.
One was the call from David, which still rankled.
And the other cause of disquiet was the news she had received the day before, about Polly Le Bonnier having been shot. Even when she was at her most relaxed with her enchantingly adorable granddaughter, Carole Seddon had been unable to clear her mind completely of thoughts about the unsolved murder.
