ingredients and their precise amounts needed to make the serum. I have them all written down on this piece of paper I took from the glove compartment.” She took the folded paper from her pocket and showed it to Fox. “I’ll order the first to show you how it’s done.” Parris demonstrated. Within a minute, a message flashed on the screen. Compound ready. Please collect.
She walked over to a corner, beside the isolation chamber, to a one-by-one-foot metal door located in the wall. She opened it and took out the corked Erlenmeyer flask from the conveyer belt.
“And to think that I spent three hours in chemistry lab class making compounds from scratch when I could‘ve done it here in half the time,” said Fox.
“Well, now’s your chance to spoil yourself. Gather all of the compounds on my list and be mindful of the specific volumes and masses I’ve indicated. They must be precise. I’ll set up the rest of the equipment.”
“Yes, Professor Parris,” Fox said sarcastically, with a smile.
Parris glanced back at him for a second before she shook her head.
They both started working.
“So tell me, Doctor…not to bring back any bad memories, but what was it like being on Clarity?”
Parris took a big breath as though she was in deep reflection.
“It’s scary thinking back on it. You don’t feel any different from how you are now. It’s just the way you think that’s different. It’s like anyone who’s gone through a brainwashing procedure, except this procedure’s more efficient than traditional methods. Clarity is remarkable, but in a negative sense.”
Those words instantly reminded Fox of when he first met Dr. Marx, especially when she described Pandora’s self-replication rate as wonderful. But Dr. Parris wasn’t the deranged woman Dr. Marx was.
“How’s it more efficient?” asked Fox.
“While under Clarity, and with the assistance of the chair, Marx’s words all meant something, the way she was able to make me go back and talk about traumatizing events in order to mold me into what she wanted, the way she used my previous experience with you to…” Parris immediately bit down as if to stop herself from saying another word, but it was too late, Fox already knew the rest of what she was about to say. Her head dropped, as she seemed to recognize that. She put the flask down on the counter in front of her, and she sighed. “I’m sorry.”
She had struck a nerve and Fox felt the sensation all the way up his spine.
“No, Dr. Parris. I’m the one who’s sorry.” Fox sighed now too, as he shook his head. “How about that. Marx made you talk about our brief relationship. She made you remember the pain and anger you felt when I stood you up and disappeared from your life. You agreed with her that your pain and troubles could be traced to those who’ve wronged you, including me. Now you’ve become the person you are because of me.”
“I’d rather not discuss it anymore. That’s the past. Let’s move on.”
“Agreed.”
A minute passed, but for some reason Fox still sensed that Parris was somewhat restless. Then again, he couldn’t let that distract him. But it was not long before he heard a glass smash on the floor. When he turned to look, he saw Parris staring at the broken beaker at her feet.
“Don’t worry, I’ll clean it up,” she said with a wave of her hand. She walked over to the corner, opened a closet door and took out a broom and dustpan.
As Fox listened to Parris sweeping up the glass, he got restless himself, knowing she wanted to say something else to him. Keep working, this needs to be finished quickly. Oh who am I kidding? He stopped what he was doing and looked at her, and before he could say anything, Parris began to unload herself.
“You called me Jessica.”
“What?”
“You referred to me as Jessica, back at the fish market.”
“I did?”
“Yes. It was right after you shot Walsh. You were slightly delirious.”
Fox thought back to when they were at the parking lot. The way she had looked at him as he held her, so reminiscent of the way Jessica had looked at him on the stretcher in his dream. Could he have been thinking of Jessica that whole time?
“Oh, that’s nothing. It runs in the family. Kind of like how an aunt or uncle means to call you by your name but ends up calling you by your brother or sister’s name. It was that sort of thing.” Fox laughed hesitantly. He didn’t want to talk about Jessica right now, and the only way to avoid the subject was to pretend it didn’t exist. But he saw that Parris wasn’t buying any of it. Who am I trying to kid here?
“Fox?”
He turned to her. “Yes?”
“Stop.” She rested the broom against the side of the counter. “Don’t you see what’s happened to you? You’ve intentionally inundated yourself in the mission as a way of covering up your past. You just don’t know it yet.”
Fox crossed his arms, his head slightly tilted, as he looked at Parris. “Really? Why do you say that?”
“Dr. Marx told me everything. She convinced me you became some sort of loose cannon after what happened to your fiancee. She knows quite a bit about you.”
Thanks to Tanaka. “She doesn’t know anything about Jessica. And neither do you.”
“You’re right, I didn’t know her. But I wish I did. Because the fact that you were about to give up your career in an elite Special Forces unit to settle down with her, she must have been one hell of a woman.”
Damn her. Why’d she have to go for my soft spot? He turned to the counter and leaned on it with outstretched arms, facing the isolation chamber. “You know what? Being a part of the JTF2 wasn’t even part of my life’s goal. I was your typical spoiled kid, born with a silver spoon in their mouth. There was so much that I could’ve been in life-or should I say-what my father wanted me to be. I threw it all away and joined the army.”
Parris slowly walked towards Fox. “You joined the army to rebel against your father?”
“Yeah, that’s pretty much it.” Fox smirked and glanced at Parris. “Then I met Jessica. And everything changed.”
Parris stopped a foot away from Fox. “What was she like?”
“She was something else. We had our arguments, she was so damn feisty. She always tried to prove that she was the one that wore the pants in the relationship. Kind of what you’d see your parents arguing about from time to time.”
“I wouldn’t know.”
Fox looked at her over his shoulder surprised. “What?”
“I never had the chance to see my parents argue because I never knew them.”
“Parris, I didn’t-”
“It’s okay, I’ve had this conversation before. My mother died when I was young and I never met my father. My aunt raised me.”
Fox hesitated for a moment, wondering how appropriate it would be to continue talking about this. “Do you ever wonder where your father is?”
Parris shook her head. “No, and I don’t want to either.”
“To say the least. I haven’t spoken to either of my parents, or Jessica’s, since…the incident.”
“Why?” She then took his right hand. “Do you blame yourself for her death?”
He pulled himself from her grip and turned away from her. “I should’ve seen it coming. After all the training I’d undergone. I’d learned so much about assessing a situation. Yet I couldn’t spot something suspicious about the company Jessica worked for.”
“We all make mistakes.” Parris walked up to him and turned him around gently. “I’m sorry I was so nasty to you yesterday. You were right. I was listening to you play the piano. I understand that you were trying to make up for the past-I just didn’t want to accept it then. For the record, I’m not mad at you anymore.”
Fox again felt a warmth in her voice and he responded by holding both her hands. “After what happened to you…I mean…the night I stood you up and you being assaulted and all. Don’t you regret becoming a field agent as a result of what I did to you?”
Parris smiled at him. “You’re not the reason why I’m here. I’m here because I want to be here.”
Fox didn’t say anything else. She was the first woman since Jessica to come close to making him come out of his shell. But he would never allow himself to get too close to her. Walsh’s attempt at taking both of them out at the fish market was a stark reminder as to why he could not allow himself to fall in love again, not while people like
