forever. At last, right under it, was a trap door. She pushed it up and emerged… into a room. The space that had been used to store water in the old days had been rebuilt. It was a house inside. And it was hers. Conor had built an eyrie for his bride.
Signy was dumbfounded – such a strange gift! Conor shrugged. 'We're so low to the ground here, and where you come from everything's so tall. It's not much, but I thought you'd like a house in the air.'
It was more than a house, it was an adventure. There were all sorts of different levels – a small sports hall, big enough to play basketball in, a kitchen, sitting rooms, little dens, big open spaces with sofas and chairs, dining areas; all interconnected with ladders and stairways from one to the other.
'It's mine?'
'All yours.' Conor frowned, the way he did when he was trying to be kind. 'At least you get a view from up here.'
It was true. From up here you could see to the edges of their world, all the way to the Wall that cut them off.
Conor touched her clumsily. 'I want you to be happy here,' he told her. Signy smiled uncertainly. The tower reminded her of everything she had left behind. But she said, 'I can… with you here.' She took him by the neck and pulled his head down to kiss her.
'…that's nice.' She sighed and shook her head. 'I think I'm gonna have to make you do it to me.'
They got down right there on the floor. Signy said, 'This is a miracle.'
'What?'
'That we love one another. Do you see? There's no reason for it. It has to be made in heaven.'
Conor looked at her to see if she was serious. He laughed. 'So you believe in all that god stuff, then?'
'How else could it be? I should hate you, shouldn't I?'
'Never…' He nipped the skin on her neck, opened her blouse and kissed her hard, as if he wanted to bruise her lips or eat her alive.
That's how her life in the North began.
17
Signy
It's so different here. Everything. Everything's just so different. The way people behave. They're all up to something. All the time, something else is going on from the way it seems. I'm a ganglord's daughter, I know all about hidden agendas and politics and fighting your comer, but this is different from that. Even when it's just two people face to face talking about… I dunno, the weather or the price of potatoes, they're always on the watch for hidden meanings. They're scared, you see, scared of saying the wrong thing, doing the wrong thing, not knowing what's the right thing. Of attracting attention. Even Conor – even him, the ganglord – even he doesn't dare to speak openly. He's trying to change things, but there're a lot of people who don't want him to succeed. You can never be sure who's on our side, and who's against us. If he lets his plans out in public, you can bet there'd be as many people trying to sabotage things as there would be trying to make it happen.
Of course, Conor's enemies are terrified of me. Oh, you wouldn't believe it but I'm really their worst nightmare. A real witch. First I'm a princess, then I'm some kind of monster – Beauty and the Beast, that's me! The last thing they wanted was a treaty with Val. Conor made it plain to me right at the start that there were plenty of people who'd kill me if they got the chance. I can't just go where I want to anymore. All that freedom's gone. There's no choice in the matter. I daren't go out of the compound without a small army to keep me safe! Can you imagine me -Conor's wife – a virtual prisoner inside! I was furious when he first told me. I said: Listen, I grew up hunting the streets with my brother. Now this man of mine wants me caged up like an animal in this zoo! I thought he was betraying me, trying to lock me away from the people. It was our first argument, but… I realised in the end. He was right. If I get killed, there's plenty people back home who'd like to think it was treachery by Conor. Siggy, for example, my beloved brother.
But listen, I do get out. Yeah, once a week, I get taken out to see the sights of Finchley. Great. To the market last week. They showed me the stalls, the jewellers, the smugglers' dens. But what about the people? It's the people that make a place. The thing that always hits me is the poverty. So much worse than back at home. People with nothing to wear fighting for rags, hungry people fighting for scraps. Another time we went to see the shops in Golders Green where the rich shop, and Conor bought me some clothes and jewellery. I never used to give a hoot for that sort of thing, but I like to wear things for him. Anyway, the people expect their princess to dress up.
Crazy! I'm like a tourist, and I'm queen of the place. But perhaps it's always like that for kings and queens.
But I can never forget the people. Every time they catch a glimpse of me it's just the same as it was when we travelled here. It doesn't matter how many guards and soldiers there are around me, they cheer and wave and howl. They're so pleased to see me. I said to Conor, I must get out among them more, but Conor wouldn't have it. And, yeah, I was cross again. We had our second argument. But… guess what… he was right again. I have a lot to learn. I just don't know my way round these parts. Obviously, under cover of all those people and all that enthusiasm it would be so easy for an assassin to bide.
The worst thing about that is, the way the crowds are always kept so far away. The market had to be closed down when I visited. I was the only customer that afternoon! The roads had to be cordoned off and mounted gangmen lined the walkways to keep the crowds back. I waved and shouted promises, but I wasn't even allowed to walk up and shake hands with anyone.
I thought, I could do with a little more fun and a bit less being precious.
It isn't all fun, being a princess. In fact, a lot of it is pretty grim. Conor's very busy a lot of the time. He doesn't dare have me by his side in meetings and so on and he's away sometimes for night after night. When he's away he doesn't like me to go out of the tower, let alone out of the compound. I'm just supposed to stay up here and play or do schoolwork. Sometimes I suspect that he's too scared, that he's treating me like a little china doll. What's life worth if you don't take some risks?
That's when I have to remember why I'm here. Oh, I'm in love, and I could stay with Conor all day if it was possible. But there's bigger things going on than my little life. I'm here to make a dream come true – my father's dream. My people's dream. I used to think the biggest risk you could take was with your own life, and I was willing to do that. But there are bigger things than your life. Love, for instance – my love for Conor, his love for me. And dreams. You can't take risks with Val's dreams.
I'm worth more than I want to be.
That's the cost of being in love, and the cost of being a princess. Let's face it, it can get a bit depressing up here sometimes, when he's away for long. I work on the plans for the hospitals or the schools we're going to build. But I miss things. I miss people. I miss Val, I miss my brothers, even mean Siggy who wouldn't give his knife to my man. That made me so cross – it was unfair! It was Conor's day and Siggy stole it. You know, for the first few weeks I was here I didn't even bother to answer his letters.
Well, perhaps it was wrong of me, though. Odin did give it to him. Poor Sigs! But I'll see him when they come to visit and I'll make it all right then. When he sees what we're trying to do, he'll understand.
And I miss Ben and I miss Had, and I miss the city, and I miss being allowed to do whatever I want. Then I get thinking how unfair it is that my brothers can do what they want while I have to stay tucked away up here and I get really cross – cross with myself, cross with Val, even cross with Conor. And then… then, I hear the rusty old ladder up to the tower creak, and the trap door lifts up… and my heart leaps every time. I run down and fetch him up to the little room right at the top, and make him lie down on my big bed. Then we have the
When we're alone in my big bed, we talk about all sorts of things. We make our plans. I get very cross with him because he wants to go so slowly and because he's so scared of his enemies. I know he has to be careful but there are times when I think we should be bold, and he hangs back and wants to wait a little longer. When I feel like that, I just think about the stories he tells me about his father, Abel. When you listen to those stories, then you understand why he's the way he is, and how far things have already come under Conor.
His father was a monster. Some of those stories! About the rows of men and women and children crucified in
