wanted him to help me destroy Conor. Suppose he was the best in the world. What difference would that make to anything?
'Dag Aggerman taught me,' said the boy in a clear voice. 'He sends his greetings, Father, and asks when you will join him to lead the human resistance against the tyrant.'
I shook my head. I wanted out of there. I even took a step towards the door. Cherry squeezed my hand gently, I pulled away. But I couldn't leave. It was impossible to deny him. Maybe Signy arranged it like that. Or Odin, or Loki. Or is it just that I'm too soft? I don't know, but instead of going out of the door, I found myself sticking my head out of the window for a breath of fresh air.
It was market day. Most days were market days, there's always a few people with something to sell spread out on the ground. Today was official, though, and it was busy. It went from people with a cloth on the ground with a few sad knick-knacks they wanted to swap for a few sad scraps, to stalls with striped awnings selling some really good bits. All around the stalls were the shops, some of them poor, some of them rich; and some of them powerful.
I turned round to look at Styr. He held his arms out 'I want you to teach me. I want to be a good soldier. I can help. Test me.' He paused a second and then said, 'I love you, Father.'
I laughed. How could he love me, he'd never even met me before? But he did. I knew he did. And I loved him.
I thought to myself, what right has this creature to my feelings? I wished him dead… truly, I wished him dead. I was filled with fear of him, at where he'd come from, out of a glass tank, out of lies, out of incest. Then I had another thought and I said,
'What about the other one?'
Cherry scowled. 'Sigs, don't,' she said.
'The real one, what about him?' I asked the clone.
A kind of shudder went through the boy. He struck himself in the chest. 'I am the real one,' he cried out. 'I am the reason why…' He spread his arm out, and of course it was true. He was the reason the other one, the baby in Conor's Estate had been born. In that sense, he was the real one.
'He doesn't count,' said the clone. 'He's just a child.'
'And what about your childhood?' I said spitefully.
He shrugged. 'It's too late for that.'
I turned back to look out of the window. Out here in Muswell Hill it was tough. You had to know the right places to go, you had to know what to do. You had especially to know what
I beckoned to him and he came to stand next to me. Straight away there was this feeling – it never left me, every time he stood close to me. Repugnance and attraction, love and hate, all in one.
'There.' I pointed. 'See? The pawn shop…'
It was Do Hawkins' place. He does a lot of good stuff. It isn't just the poor people go to Do's if they need cash. Plenty of rich people pawn the family jewels there. You didn't have to have a good reputation or a decent credit rating. Do's insurance policy was a little different from just making sure he lent to the right people. If he didn't get it back, and the rest, his helpers paid you a 'little visit'. Do was the nearest thing to a ganglord left in north London. He had any number of scams, theft, extortion, murder. I'd done a few jobs with him myself. There were a great many people who didn't even need the money found themselves obliged to borrow off Do, just so he could have the pleasure of them paying him back at a good rate of interest.
He was good at it, too. There was a small fortune sitting in that shop. An ideal attraction for thieves, you'd have thought, but you'd be wrong. No one – and I mean
'Do the till and you're in,' I told him.
I was shaking as I walked back to the window to watch. Cherry was furious.
'You've killed him.'
I was gritting my teeth.
'He's only fifteen, Siggy.'
'A test, he needs to have a test,' I insisted.
She shook her head and came over to stare down at the street below. Then she smiled.
'Look, there he is.' I peered out of the window. That was quick. I was impressed. The kid was there in amongst the crowd, circling about, getting in closer.
'He's gonna have a go,' I said in surprise.
'Oh, yes,' said Cherry. And she laughed at seeing me put out. 'Stop him,' she said. But I couldn't move.
Styr was in close already, squeezing his way through the crowds, getting right up to the counter. Then he whipped out a gun.
I jumped and shouted. This was mad! The whole shop froze. I could see the big guys eyeing him up, but they didn't dare do anything – yet. Styr was as cool as you like. People were moving in behind him, but he got them out of the way with the gun. The guy behind the table emptied the till into a bag, handed it over. Shit, he'd actually done it!
He was gonna die.
Suddenly my heart was in my mouth and I was thinking, come on, kid, come on, you can do it! But at the same time I knew he stood no chance. He might get out of the shop, but he'd be dead in a few steps.
Styr turned and began to edge out of the shop.
'They'll bloody kill him!' I leaned out over the sill. I was scared! 'They'll kill him!'
'Your own son,' said Cherry.
I cursed her. Below us, Styr turned and ran. There was a crackle of gunfire. The crowd opened and closed to let Styr through. He was running… and suddenly the street was full of big men in good suits running after him.
'Stupid kid!' I screamed. I leaped backwards and got to the door. He didn't stand a chance! As I belted down the corridor I heard Cherry over my shoulder.
'Better hurry.'
I went down that corridor like a pinball. I fell down the stairs and out of the door. He'd be dead already! I grabbed a passer-by. 'Which way?' I screamed.
'What?' The man didn't know what I was talking about. I dropped him and ran towards Do's. I grabbed one of the big men. He recognised me, everyone knew my face, or what was left of it.
'Where've they gone?'
'Was he yours? What you playing at?'
'WHERE?' The man paled. He didn't like being shouted at, but he knew better than to argue with me. He just pointed.
I ran off, down behind Queens Avenue where the clothes stalls peter out and they sell broken bits of machinery and tools. I grabbed another passer-by. It took me two more before I found them. They had him up against a wall by a load of wooden boxes full of cabbage leaves and rotten fruit. There were about six of them, teaching him a lesson for everyone else to see before they finished him off. The slush was red with blood. He'd done a lot of damage himself. There were a few of them flat out on the ground, some dead, some wheezing and gasping. But the ones still standing were serious with their boots. I figured the aim was to kick him to death.
The kid was flailing about with his arms. He was a real mess already. They were making a meal of it.
'Drop him!' I shouted. They turned to look at me. I'm not that big to look at. The one standing back spat, the other pulled back his boot and smashed it again into the lad's face. Styr sort of twitched.
I lost it. I really lost it. I do sometimes. It was just a red haze. When I came round, I had my back to the wall with Styr at my feet and the thugs were grounded. There was blood everywhere, up the walls, in the gutter. I finished off with a last shot. That guy who did that last kick, he shouldn't have done that. I helped Styr up, and it says something for him, and for the changes Signy made to him, that he was still able to walk. I marched him back to the pawnshop. Do had heard about the fuss and he was waiting for me. The whole market place knew what was going on.
Well, Do was a big player. Bigger than me. But he knew me. And he knew who I was.
I flung the moneybag down at his feet. Money spilled over onto the floor. 'If he steals your wife and you touch him, I'll do to you what I just done to your thugs,' I hissed. Do Hawkins looked at me. He glanced at his other
