Isaac figured I was on your side so he didn’t trust me enough to tell me what they were going to do.”
“He didn’t have to. Isaac just attacked a white man. He’s not going back to Judge Holman after doing that. Some other nigger might, but not Isaac. He’s run away, and Alice is with him, helping him to escape. Or at least, that’s the way the Judge will see it.”
“What will happen to her?”
“Jail. A good whipping. Then they’ll sell her.” “She’ll be a slave?”
“Her own fault.”
I stared at him. Heaven help Alice and Isaac. Heaven help me. If Rufus could turn so quickly on a life-long friend, how long would it take him to turn on me?
“I don’t want her being sold South, though,” he whispered. “Her fault or not, I don’t want her dying in some rice swamp.”
“Why not?” I asked bitterly. “Why should it matter to you?”
124
“I wish it didn’t.”
KINDRED
I frowned down at him. His tone had changed suddenly. Was he going to show a little humanity then? Did he have any left to show?
“I told her about you,” he said. “I know. She recognized me.”
“I told her everything. Even about you and Kevin being married. Espe- cially about that.”
“What will you do, Rufe, if they bring her back?” “Buy her. I’ve got some money.”
“What about Isaac?”
“To hell with Isaac!” He said it too vehemently and hurt his side. His face twisted in pain.
“So you’ll be rid of the man and have possession of the woman just as you wanted,” I said with disgust. “Rape rewarded.”
He turned his head toward me and peered at me through swollen eyes. “I begged her not to go with him,” he said quietly. “Do you hear me,
I said nothing. I was beginning to realize that he loved the woman— to her misfortune. There was no shame in raping a black woman, but there could be shame in loving one.
“I didn’t want to just drag her off into the bushes,” said Rufus. “I never wanted it to be like that. But she kept saying no. I could have had her in the bushes years ago if that was all I wanted.”
“I know,” I said.
“If I lived in your time, I would have married her. Or tried to.” He began trying to get up again. He seemed stronger now, but in pain. I sat watching him, but not helping. I was not eager for him to recover and go home—not until I was sure what story he would tell when he got there.
Finally, the pain seemed to overwhelm him and he lay down again. “What did that bastard do to me?” he whispered.
“I could go and get help for you,” I said. “If you tell me which way to go.”
“Wait.” He caught his breath and coughed and the coughing hurt him badly. “Oh God,” he moaned.
“I think you’ve got broken ribs,” I said.
“I wouldn’t be surprised. I guess you’d better go.”
“All right. But, Rufe … white men attacked you. You hear?” He said nothing.
THE FIGHT 125
“You said people would be going after Isaac anyway. All right then, so be it. But let him—and Alice—have a chance. They’ve given you one.” “It won’t make any difference whether I tell or not. Isaac’s a runaway.
They’ll have to answer for that, no matter what.” “Then your silence won’t matter.”
“Except to give them the start you want them to have.” I nodded. “I do want them to have it.”
“You’ll trust me, then?” He was watching me very closely. “If I say I
won’t tell, you’ll believe me?”
“Yes.” I paused for a moment. “We should never lie to each other, you and I. It wouldn’t be worthwhile. We both have too much opportunity for retaliation.”
He turned his face away from me. “You talk like a damn book.” “Then I hope Kevin did a good job of teaching you to read.”
“You …!” He caught my arm in a grip I could have broken, but I let him hold on. “You threaten me, I’ll threaten you. Without me, you’ll never find Kevin.”
“I know that.”
“Then don’t threaten me!”
“I said we were dangerous to each other. That’s more a reminder than a threat.” Actually, it was more a bluff.
“I don’t need reminders or threats from you.” I said nothing.
“Well? Are you going to go get some help for me?” Still I said nothing. I didn’t move.
“You go through those trees,” he said pointing. “There’s a road out there, not too far away. Go left on the road and then just follow it until you come to our place.”
I listened to his directions knowing that I would use them sooner or later. But we had to have an understanding first, he and I. He didn’t have to admit that we had one. He could keep his pride if that was what he thought was at stake. But he did have to behave as though he understood me. If he refused, he was going to get a lot more pain now. And maybe later when Kevin was safe and Hagar had at least had a chance to be born—I might never find out about that—I would walk away from Rufus and leave him to get out of his own trouble.
“Dana!”
I looked at him. I had let my attention wander.
126
KINDRED
“I said she’ll … they’ll get their time. White men attacked me.” “Good, Rufe.” I laid a hand on his shoulder. “Look, your father will
listen to me, won’t he? I don’t know what he saw last time I went home.” “He doesn’t know what he saw either. Whatever it was, he’s seen it before—that time at the river—and he didn’t believe it then, either. But
he’ll listen to you. He might even be a little afraid of you.”
“That’s better than the other way around. I’ll get back as quickly as I
can.”
5
The road was farther away than I had expected. As it got darker—the sun was setting, not rising—I tore pages from my scratch pad and stuck them on trees now and then to mark my trail. Even then I worried that I might not be able to find my way back to Rufus.
When I reached the road, I pulled up some bushes and made a kind of barricade speckled with bits of white paper. That would stop me at the right place when I came back—if no one moved it meanwhile.
I followed the road until it was dark, followed it through woods, through fields, past a large house much finer than Weylin’s. No one both- ered me. I hid behind a tree once when two white men rode past. They might not have paid any attention to me, but I didn’t want to take the chance. And there were three black women walking with large bundles balanced on their heads.
“ ‘Evenin’,” they said as I passed them.
I nodded and wished them a good evening. And I walked faster, won- dering suddenly what the years had done to Luke and Sarah, to Nigel and Carrie. The children who had played at selling each other might already be working in the fields now. And what would time have done to Mar- garet Weylin? I doubted that it had made her any easier to live with.
Finally, after more woods and fields, the plain square house was before me, its downstairs windows full of yellow light. I was startled to catch myself saying wearily, “Home at last.”
I stood still for a moment between the fields and the house and reminded myself that I was in a hostile place. It didn’t look alien any
THE FIGHT 127
longer, but that only made it more dangerous, made me more likely to relax and make a mistake.
I rubbed my back, touched the several long scabs to remind myself that I could not afford to make mistakes. And the scabs forced me to remember that I had been away from this place for only a few days. Not that I had forgotten—exactly. But it was as though during my walk I had been getting used to the idea that years had passed for these people since I had seen them last. I had begun to feel—feel, not think—that a great deal of time had passed for me too. It was a vague feeling, but it seemed right and comfortable. More comfortable than trying to keep in mind what was really happening. Some part of me had apparently given up on time-distorted reality and smoothed things out. Well, that was all right, as long as it didn’t go too far.
I continued on
