Nikanj drew her closer, looped a sensory arm around her throat. She thought it would inject something into her and make her lose consciousness. She waited almost eager for the darkness.
But Nikanj only drew her down to the log bench again. 'You'll have a daughter,' it said. 'And you are ready to be her mother. You could never have said so. Just as Joseph could never have invited me into his bed-no matter how much he wanted me there. Nothing about you but your words reject this child.'
'But it won't be human,' she whispered. 'It will be a thing. A monster.'
'You shouldn't begin to lie to yourself. It's a deadly habit. The child will be yours and Joseph's, Ajahas' and Dichaan's. And because I've mixed it, shaped it, seen that it will be beautiful and without deadly conflicts, it will be mine. It will be my first child, Lilith. First to be born, at least. Ahajas is also pregnant.'
'Ahajas?' When had it found the time? It had been everywhere.
'Yes. You and Joseph are parents to her child as well.' It used its free sensory arm to turn her head to face it. The child that comes from your body will look like you and Joseph.'
'I don't believe you!'
'The differences will be hidden until metamorphosis.'
'Oh god. That too.'
'The child born to you and the child born to Ahajas will be siblings.'
'The others won't come back for this,' she said. 'I wouldn't have come back for it.'
'Our children will be better than either of us,' it continued. 'We will moderate your hierarchical problems and you will lessen our physical limitations. Our children won't destroy themselves in a war, and if they need to regrow a limb or to change themselves in some other way they'll be able to do it. And there will be other benefits.'
'But they won't be human,' Lilith said. 'That's what matters. You can't understand, but that is what matters.'
Its tentacles knotted. 'The child inside you matters.' It released her arms, and her hands clutched uselessly at one another.
'This will destroy us,' she whispered. 'My god, no wonder you wouldn't let me leave with the others.'
'You'll leave when I do-you, Ahajas, Dichaan, and our children. We have work to do here before we leave.' It stood up. 'We'll go home now. Ahajas and Dichaan are waiting for us.'
Home? She thought bitterly. When had she last had a true home? When could she hope to have one. 'Let me stay here,' she said. It would refuse. She knew it would. 'This is as close to Earth as it seems you'll let me come.'
'You can come back here with the next group of humans. Come home now.'
She considered resisting, making it drug her and carry her back. But that seemed a pointless gesture. At least she would get another chance with a human group. A chance to teach them.. . but not a chance to be one of them. Never that. Never?
Another chance to say, 'Learn and run!'
She would have more information for them this time. And they would have long, healthy lives ahead of them. Perhaps they could find an answer to what the Oankali had done to them. And perhaps the Oankali were not perfect. A few fertile people might slip through and find one another. Perhaps. Learn and run! If she were lost, others did not have to be. Humanity did not have to be.
She let Nikanj lead her into the dark forest and to one of the concealed dry exits.
About the Author
I'm a 48-year-old writer who can remember being a 10-year-old writer and who expects someday to be an 80- year-old writer. I'm also comfortably asocial-a hermit in the middle of Los Angeles-a pessimist if I'm not careful, a feminist, a Black, a former Baptist, an oil-and-water combination of ambition, laziness, insecurity, certainty, and drive.
I've had ten novels published so far. Patternmaster, Mind of my Mind, Survivor, Kindred, Wild Seed, Clay's Ark Dawn, Adulthood Rites, imago, and Parable of the Sower, as well as a collection of my shorter work, entitled Bloodchild. I've also had short stories published in anthologies and magazines. One, 'Speech Sounds,' won a Hugo Award as best short story of 1984. Another, 'Bloodchild,' won both the 1985 Hugo and the 1984 Nebula awards as best novelette.
-Octavia E. Butler
In 1995 Octavia E. Butler was awarded a MacArthur Grant. In what is popularly called the genius program, the John D. and Catherine T. MacArthur Foundation rewards creative people who push the boundaries of their fields.
