?In a way. I?m going to tell them a story. Gabe and I once saw what happened to a man who injured an Oankali?s body tentacles. That was back on the ship. There are other people in Phoenix who remember, but none of them are with us here. Your mother was with us then, Akin, though I don?t intend to mention her.?
Akin looked away from her, stared across the stream bed, and wondered if his mother were still alive.
?Hey,? Tate said. ?What?s the matter??
?You should have taken me home,? he said bitterly. ?You say you know my mother. You should have taken me back to her.?
Silence.
?Shkaht says men in resister villages tie up women when they catch them, and they keep them. My mother probably knows that, but she would look for me anyway. She wouldn?t let them keep her, but they might shoot her or cut her.?
More silence.
?You should have taken me home.? He was crying openly now.
?I know,? she whispered. ?And I?m sorry. But I can?t take you home. You mean too much to my people.? She had crossed her arms in front of her, the fingers of each hand curved around an elbow. She had made a bar against him like the wooden bars she used to secure her doors. He went to her and put his hands on her arms.
?They won?t let you keep me much longer,? he said. ?And even if they did
Even if I grew up in Phoenix and Amma and Shkaht grew up there, you would still need an ooloi. And there are no construct ooloi.?
?You don?t know what we?ll need!?
This surprised him. How could she think he did not know? She might wish he did not know, but of course he did. ?I?ve known since I touched my sibling,? he said. ?I couldn?t have said it then, but I knew we were two-thirds of a reproductive unit. I know what that means. I don?t know how it feels. I don?t know how threes of adults feel when they come together to mate. But I know there must be three, and one of those three must be an ooloi. My body knows that.?
She believed him. Her face said she believed him.
?Let?s get back,? she said.
?Will you help me get home??
?No.?
?But why??
Silence.
?Why!? He pulled futilely at her locked arms.
?Because
? She waited until he remembered to turn his face up to meet her gaze. ?Because these are my people. Lilith has made her choice, and I?ve made mine. That?s something you?ll probably never understand. You and the girls are hope to these people, and hope is something they haven?t had for more years than I want to think about.?
?But it?s not real. We can?t do what they want.?
?Do yourself a favor. Don?t tell them.?
Now he did not have to remind himself to stare at her.
?Your people will come for you, Akin. I know that, and so do you. I like you, but I?m not good at self-delusion. Let my people hope while they can. Keep quiet.? She drew a deep breath. ?You?ll do that, won?t you??
?You?ve taken my sibling from me,? he said. ?You?ve kept me from having what Amma and Shkaht have, and that?s something you don?t understand or even care about. My mother might die because you keep me here. You know her, but you don?t care. And if you don?t care about my people, why should I care about yours??
She looked downward, then gazed into the running water. Her expression reminded him of Tino?s mother?s expression when she asked if her son were dead. ?No reason,? she said finally. ?If I were you, I?d hate our guts.? She unbarred her arms and picked him up, put him on her lap. ?We?re all you?ve got, though, kid. It shouldn?t be that way, but it is.?
She stood up with him, holding him tighter than necessary, and turned to see Gabe coming toward them.
?What?s going on?? he asked. Akin thought later that he looked a little frightened. He looked uncertain, then relieved, yet slightly frightened?as though something bad still might happen.
?He had some things to tell me,? Tate said. ?And we have work to do.?
?What work?? He took Akin from her as they walked back toward camp, and there was somehow more to the gesture than simply relieving her of a burden. Akin had seen this odd tension in Gabe before, but he did not understand it.
?We have to see to it that our little girls aren?t forced to kill anyone,? Tate said.
16
The salvage site that was their destination was a buried town. ?Smashed and covered by the Oankali,? Gabe told Akin. ?They didn?t want us living here and remembering what we used to be.?
Akin looked at the vast pit the salvage crew had dug over the years, excavating the town. It had not been wantonly smashed as Gabe believed. It had been harvested. One of the shuttles had partially consumed it. The small ship-entities fed whenever they could. There was no faster way to destroy a town than to land a shuttle on it and let the shuttle eat its fill. Shuttles could digest almost anything, including the soil itself. What the people of Phoenix were digging through were leavings. Apparently these were enough to satisfy their needs.
