She had drawn back from him. Her face had changed slightly. ?You always look so normal
sometimes I forget.?
?Don?t forget. But don?t hate me either. I?ve never stung anyone, and I don?t ever want to.?
Some of the wariness left her eyes.
?Help me learn,? he said. ?I want to know the Human part of myself better.?
?What can I teach you??
He smiled. ?Tell me why Human kids put things in their mouths. I?ve never known.?
21
He made them all his teachers. He told only Tate what he meant to do. When she had heard, she looked at him then shook her head sadly. ?Go ahead,? she said. ?Learn all you can about us. It can?t do any harm. But afterward, I think you?ll find you have a few more things to learn about the Oankali, too.?
He worried about that. No other resister could have made him worry about the Oankali. But Tate had been almost a relative. She would have been an ooloi relative if she had stayed with Kahguyaht and its mates. He felt her to be almost a relative now. He trusted her. Yet he could not give up his own belief that he could someday speak for the resisters.
?Shall I tell them there must be Akjai Humans?? he asked her. ?Would you be willing to begin again, isolated somewhere far from here?? Where, he could not imagine, but somewhere!
?If it were a place where we could live, and if we could have children.? She drew a breath, wet her lips. ?We would do anything for that. Anything.?
There was an intensity that he had never heard before in her voice. And there was something else. He frowned. ?Would you go??
She had come over to watch him scrub a piece of colorful mosaic?a square of bright bits of glass fitted together to make a red flower against a blue field.
?That?s beautiful,? Tate said softly. ?There was a time when I would have thought it was cheap junk. Now, it?s beautiful.?
?Would you go?? Akin asked again.
She turned and walked away.
22
Gabe took him away from his tasting and cleaning for a while?took him higher into the hills where the great mountains in the distance could be seen clearly. One of them smoked and steamed into the blue sky and was somehow very beautiful?a pathway deep into the Earth. A breathing place. A kind of joint where great segments of the Earth?s crust came together. Akin could look at the huge volcano and understand a little better how the Earth worked?how it would work until it was broken and divided between departing Dinso groups.
Akin chose the edible plants he thought would taste best to Gabe and introduced the man to them. In return, Gabe told him about a place called New York and what it had been like to grow up there. Gabe talked more than he ever had?talked about acting, which Akin did not understand at all at first.
Gabe had been an actor. People gave him money and goods so that he would pretend to be someone else?so that he would take part in acting out a story someone had made up.
?Didn?t your mother ever tell you any stories?? he asked Akin.
?Yes,? Akin said. ?But they were true.?
?She never told you about the three bears??
?What?s a bear??
Gabe looked first angry, then resigned. ?I still forget sometimes,? he said. ?A bear is just one more large, extinct animal. Forget it.?
That night in a small, half-ruined stone shelter before a camp-fire, Gabe became another person for Akin. He became an old man. Akin had never seen an old man. Most of the old Humans who had survived the war had been kept aboard the ship. The oldest were dead by now. The Oankali had not been able to extend their lives for more than a few years, but they kept them healthy and free of pain for as long as possible.
Gabe became an old man. His voice became heavier, thicker. His body seemed heavier, too, and painfully weary, bent, yet hard to bend. He was a man whose daughters had betrayed him. He was sane, and then not sane. He was terrifying. He was another person altogether. Akin wanted to get up and run out into the darkness.
Yet he sat still, spellbound. He could not understand much of what Gabe said, though it seemed to be English. Somehow, though, he felt what Gabe seemed to want him to feel. Surprise, anger, betrayal, utter bewilderment, despair, madness
.
The performance ended, and Gabe was Gabe again. He turned his face upward and laughed aloud. ?Jesus,? he said. ?Lear for a three-year-old. Damn. It felt good, anyway. It?s been so long. I didn?t know I remembered all that stuff.?
?Don?t you do that for the people in Phoenix?? Akin asked timidly.
?No. I never have. Don?t ask me why. I don?t know. I farm now or I work metal. I dig up junk from the past and turn it into stuff people can use today. That?s what I do.?
?I liked the acting. It scared me at first, and I couldn?t understand a lot of it, but
It?s like what we do?constructs and Oankali. It?s like when we touch each other and talk with feelings and pressures. Sometimes you have to remember a feeling you haven?t had for a long time and bring it back so you can transmit it to someone else or use a feeling you have about one thing to help someone understand something
