“That you shouldn’t get the idea that I dislike you because you’re black.”
“Oh.”
“I wouldn’t want you here no matter what color you were.”
I sighed. “You’re going to make this even harder than it has to be, aren’t you?”
“You asked.”
“Well … I’m no happier to be here than you are to have me, but we’re either going to have to get used to each other or we’re going to have to keep out of each other’s way a lot. Which won’t be easy even in a house as big as this.”
“Why did you and Doro fight?”
“What?” My first thought was that he was reading my mind. Then I realized that even if he hadn’t seen Doro’s hand, I had a big bruise on my jaw.
“You know damn well why we fought.”
“Tell me. I answered your questions.”
“Why does a telepath bother to ask questions?”
“Out of courtesy. Shall I stop?”
“No! We fought … because Doro didn’t tell me about Vivian until about two hours ago.”
There was a long pause. Then, “I see. How did you feel about marrying me before you found out about Vivian?”
“My grandmother married Doro,” I said. “And, of course, my mother married him. I’ve expected to marry him myself ever since I was old enough to know what was going on. I wanted to. I loved him.”
“Past tense?”
I almost didn’t answer. I realized that I was ashamed. “No.”
“Not even after he decides to marry you off to a stranger?”
“I’ve loved him for years. I guess it takes me a while to turn my emotions around.”
“You probably never will. I’ve met several of his people since my transition. He uses me to keep them in line without killing them. And he’s done terrible things to some of them. But I’ve never met one who hates him. Those who don’t kill themselves by attacking him as soon as he acts against them always seem to forgive him.”
Somehow that didn’t surprise me. “Do you hate him?”
“No.”
“In spite of … everything?” I remembered Vivian going out hand in hand with Doro.
“In spite of everything,” he said quietly.
“Can you read his mind?”
“No.”
“But why not? He says he’s not a telepath. How could he stop you?”
“You’ll find out after your transition. This will be your room.” We were on the second floor. He opened the door he had stopped in front of.
The bedroom was white, and I guess you could call it elegant. There was a small crystal chandelier. There was a huge bed and a large dresser with a beautiful mirror. I’d have to be careful how I threw things. There was a closet that was going to look empty even after I hung up the new clothes Doro had bought me. There were chairs, little tables
…
It was just a really nice room. I peered into the mirror at my bruise. Then I sat down in a chair by the window and looked out at the front lawn as I spoke to Karl. “What do I do after my transition?”
“Do?”
“Well, I’ll be able to read minds. I’ll be able to steal better without getting caught?if I still want to. I’ll be able to snoop through other people’s secrets, even make robots of people. But …”
“But?”
“What am I supposed to do?except maybe have babies?” I turned to face him and saw by his expression that he wished I hadn’t said that last. I didn’t care.
“I’m sure Doro will find some work for you,” he said. “He probably already has something in mind.”
Just at that moment, someone was hit by a car. I sensed enough to know that it was nearby, within a few blocks of Karl’s house. I felt the impact. I might have said something. Then I felt the pain. A slow-motion avalanche of pain. I know I screamed then. That hit me harder than anything I’d ever received. Finally the pain got to be too much for the accident victim. He passed out. I almost passed out with him. I found myself curled into a tight knot on the chair, my feet up and my head down and throbbing.
I looked up to see whether Karl was still there, and found him watching me. He looked interested but not concerned, not inclined to give me any of the help he was supposed to give. I had a feeling that, if I survived transition, I would do it on my own.
“There’s aspirin in the bathroom,” he said, nodding toward a closed door. Then he turned and left.
Five days later, we were married at city hall. For those five days, I might as well have been alone in that big house. Doro left the day he brought me, and didn’t come back. I saw Karl and Vivian at meals or ran into them accidentally around the house. They were always polite. I wasn’t.
