“You don’t know how badly my actives usually react to each other.”
“Karl’s reaction to me was bad enough. Why did you put us together if you didn’t think we could get along?”
“You and Karl are more stable than the others; you come from four of my best lines. You were supposed to get along fairly well together.”
“Another experiment. All right, it can still work. Just give it a chance. After all, what have you got to lose?”
“Some very valuable people.”
I stood up and faced him. “You want to throw me away before you see how valuable I might be?”
“Girl, I don’t want to throw you away at all.”
“Give me a chance, then.”
“A chance to do what?”
“To find out whether this group of actives is different?or whether I can make them different. To find out whether I or my pattern can keep them from killing each other, or me. That’s what we’re talking about, isn’t it?”
“Yes.”
“Well?”
He looked at me. After a moment, he nodded. I didn’t even feel relieved. But, then, I had never really felt threatened. I smiled at him. “You’re curious, aren’t you?”
He looked surprised.
“I know you. You really want to see what will happen?if it will be different from what’s happened before. Because this has happened before, hasn’t it?”
“Not quite.”
“What was different before? I might be able to learn from my predecessors’ mistakes.”
“Do you think anything you could have learned before your transition could have helped you avoid trapping my actives in your pattern?”
I took a deep breath. “No. But tell me anyway. I want to know.”
“No you don’t. But I’ll tell you. Your predecessors were parasites, Mary. Not quite the way I am, but parasites nevertheless. And so are you.”
I thought about that, then shook my head slowly. “But I haven’t hurt anybody. Karl was right next to me and I didn’t?”
“I said you weren’t like me. I’m fairly sure you could have killed Karl, though. I suspect Karl realizes that.”
I sat down. He had finally said something that really hit me. I had kind of built Karl up as a superman in my mind. I could see how he owned Vivian and the servants. His house and his life style were clear evidence of his power. He wasn’t Doro, but he was a good second. “I could have killed him? How?”
“Why? Want to try it?”
“Oh, shit, Doro, come on. I want to know how to avoid trying it. Or is that going to be
impossible too?”
“That’s the question I want an answer to. That’s what I’m curious about. More than curious. Your predecessors never trapped more than one active at a time. Their first was always the one who had helped them through transition. They always needed help to get through transition. If I didn’t provide it, they died. On the other hand, if I did provide it, sooner or later they killed the person who had helped them. They never wanted to kill, and especially they didn’t want to kill that person. But they couldn’t help themselves. They got … hungry, and they killed. Then they latched onto another active, drew him to them, and went through the feeding process again. Unfortunately, they always killed other actives. I can’t afford that.”
“Did they … trade bodies the way you do?”
“No. They took what they needed and left the husk.”
I winced.
“And their patterns gave them an access to their victims that their victims couldn’t close off?as you already know.”
“Oh.” I felt almost guilty?as though he were telling me about things that I had already done. As though I had already killed the people in my pattern. People who hadn’t done anything to me.
“So you can see why I’m worried,” he said.
“Yes. But I can’t see why you’d want somebody like me around at all?why you’d breed somebody like me if all my kind can do is feed on other actives.”
“Not your kind, Mary. Your predecessors.”
“Right. They killed one at a time. I kill several at once. Progress.”
“But do you kill several at once?”
“I hope I don’t kill any at all?at least not unintentionally. But you don’t give me much to base that hope on. What am I for, Doro? What are you progressing toward?”
“You know the answer to that.”
“Your race, your empire, yes, but what place is there in it for me?”
