Parable of the Talents

'Why do you find it so easy,' Michael Kardos asked, 'to believe we go to heaven after we die, but so hard to believe we can go into the heavens while we're alive? Following the Earthseed Destiny is difficult. Massively difficult. That's the challenge. But if we want to do it, someday we'll do it. It's not impossible.'

I had spoken the same words to him shortly after he came to live at Acorn. He had said then with bitter contempt that the Destiny was meaningless. All he wanted to do, he said, was to earn enough money to house, feed, and clothe his family. Once he was able to do that, he said, then maybe he'd have time for science fiction.

Indeed.

sunday, march 6, 2033

Marc has gone.

He left yesterday with the Peraltas. They're gone for good too. They were the ones Marc managed to reach. They've al­ways felt that we should be more Christian and more patri­otic. They say Andrew Jarret is our elected leader—Ramiro Peralta and his daughter Pilar helped elect him—and a min­ister of God, so he deserves our respect. Esteban Peralta is going to enlist in the army. He believes—the whole family believes—it's our patriotic duty, everyone's duty, to support Jarret in his 'heroic' effort to revive and reunify the coun­try. They don't believe Jarret's a fascist. They don't believe that the church burnings, witch burnings, and other abuses are Jarret's doing. 'Some of his followers are young and ex­citable,' Ramiro Peralta says. 'Jarret will put their asses into uniform. Then they'll learn some discipline. Jarret hates all this chaos the way I hate it That's why I voted for him. Now he'll start putting things right!'

It's true that there haven't been any burnings or beatings since Jarret was inaugurated—or none that I've heard of, and I've been paying attention to the news. I don't know what this means, but I don't believe it means everything's all right. I don't think the Peraltas believe it either. I think they're just scared, and getting out of any potential line of fire. If Jarret does crack down on people who don't fit into his religious notions, they don't want to be here at Acorn.

My brother on the other hand, used to despise Jarret Now he says Jarret is just what America needs. And I'm afraid that it's me he's begun to despise. He blames me for the fail­ure of his Gathering Day sermons. He's gained no followers. The Peraltas like him and sort of agree with him. Pilar Per­alta is more than half in love with him, but even they don't see him as a minister. They see him as a nice boy. In fact, that's the way most people here in Acorn see him. He thinks this is my fault. He believes, he insists, that I coached peo­ple to attack and humiliate him at all three Gatherings. And he says with a weary, irritating, honest smile, 'I forgive you.

I might have done the same thing to protect my turf if I had any turf to protect.'

I think it was the smile that made me say more than I should have. 'The truth is,' I told him, 'you were given a special privilege. If you were anyone else, you could have been expelled for preaching another belief system. I let you do it because you've been through so much hell, and I knew it was important to you. And because you're my brother.' I would have called back the words if I could have. He would hear pity in them. He would hear condescension.

For a long moment, he stared at me. I watched him get angry—very angry. Then he seemed to push his anger away. He refused to react to it He shrugged.

“Think of the Gatherings you've attended,' I said to him. 'Name even one that didn't involve questions, challenges, argument It's our way. I did warn you. Anyone can be ques­tioned on any subject they choose to teach or advocate. I told you that we were serious about it. We learn at least as much by discussion as by lecture, demonstration, or experi­ence.'

'Forget about it,' he said. 'It's done. I don't blame you. Really. I shouldn't have tried my hand here. I'll make a place for myself somewhere else.'

Still no anger expressed. Yet he was furious. He wouldn't show it and he wouldn't talk about it, but it came off him like heat Perhaps that's what a collar teaches—a horrible kind of self-control. Or perhaps not. My brother was always a self-contained person. He knew how to be unreachable.

I sighed and gave him as much money as I could afford, plus a rifle, a sidearm, and ammunition for both. He's not a very good shot with anything yet, but he knows the basics, and I couldn't let him go out and wind up in the hands of someone like Cougar again. The Peralta family had been with us for two years, so they had money and possessions as a result of their work with us. Marc did not We drove him and the Peraltas into Eureka. There, they might find homes and jobs, or at least they might find temporary shelter until they could decide what to do.

'I thought you knew me,' I said to my brother just before he left us. 'I wouldn't do what you're accusing me of.'

He shrugged. 'It's okay. Don't keep worrying about it' He smiled. And he was gone.