“I know.” Family. Among the Kohn, a kinsman was a kinsman no matter how foolishly he behaved. And Alanna found herself agreeing with them. Jules had chosen to make her his daughter, and after a time, she had chosen to accept him as her father. But she could not choose now to end the relationship. She would probably not see him again, but she would still think of him as her father, still love him. Diut was right. She had to try once more. But she did not move. She stood watching Jules, wanting to go to him, but not wanting to feel the weight of his condemning stare again. What kind of man was he that he could condemn her for saving both his life and the Mission, his reason for living? Then she saw Nathan James approaching. She made a sound of disgust. Jules’s intolerance was hard enough to take. Jules she loved. She had never loved Nathan.
Nathan came up, stared at Diut’s arm for a moment, then spoke in English. “I’d heard that you were hurt. I’m a healer, Tehkohn Hao. I can help you if you like.”
Alanna was startled, but Diut did not know enough about Nathan to be startled. He was only curious.
“Why do you want to help?”
Nathan shrugged. “You have helped us. I admit that I didn’t trust you at first, but you helped us.”
“And you wish to repay?”
“Yes.”
“There is no need. But it is good of you to offer.” He was trying to say “thanks,” Alanna realized. That was not something normally said aloud among the Kohn, and he was not accustomed to saying it even in English. Under other circumstances, he might have whitened to show gratitude, but now he was having enough trouble maintaining a steady blue in spite of his pain.
“What will you do then?” asked Nathan.
“When you have all gone, my healers will care for me.”
“They… know how to do such things?”
“We are a mountain people, healer. We learned long ago to set and bind broken bones.”
Nathan nodded doubtfully, looked once more at Diut’s arm, then turned and walked away. He had been oddly careful not to look at Alanna.
“Go to your parents,” said Diut. “Missionaries have already begun to leave. Go. Make your peace.”
She nodded, but went first to Neila. The woman was standing alone staring at the smoldering ruins of her cabin. She spoke as Alanna came up beside her.
“It didn’t take long to burn, did it?”
“No,” said Alanna. “But then, a lot of solid-looking things can be destroyed quickly.”
Neila glanced toward Jules. “Have you tried again?”
“I was about to. I will.”
“Did Nathan offer to fix Diut’s arm?”
“Yes. But I don’t know why.”
“He asked me about Diut… and you. I told him. I didn’t think it made any difference now.”
“It doesn’t.”
“He said he thought it was something like that. He said he didn’t understand how you could do such a thing, but that it was your problem. He said he was grateful to the Tehkohn for saving the settlement no matter what… you had done.”
Alanna laughed without humor. “I wonder how he manages to separate the two in his mind. He didn’t say a word to me just now. He pretended I wasn’t there.”
“Lanna, go talk to your father.”
“You should catch your wagon,” said Alanna. “The Lorenz boy is halfway to the woods with it.”
“Good-bye, Lanna.”
“Good-bye.” Oddly, neither of them seemed inclined to touch the other now. They gazed at each other for a long moment, then turned and left each other—Neila to catch her wagon, Alanna toward where Jules stood watching the wagons and people fall slowly into line.
He ignored her for several seconds, and she could feel his tenseness growing.
“What is it?” he asked finally.
“I came to say good-bye.”
It was the first time she had ever been relieved to see a look of pain cross his face. It told her, at least, that she could still reach him. He did not hate her—yet.
“How can you have veered so far from all that we tried to teach you—wanting to stay here and never see one of your own kind again.”
“Don’t think I like seeing you go—except for your own sake, of course.”
“You should be going with us.”
“You know I can’t.”
“He would let you go if you made him understand that you belonged with your own people.”
She managed a wry smile. “I doubt that. Anyway, I don’t want to leave him.”
