“Name?” she asked mechanically.
“Amelia Marie Bedford,” I recited, still dwelling on my options for my future. She clicked away on the keyboard, then looked up at me suspiciously.
“You’re sixteen?” she asked, as if I might lie about my age. I thought women only did that when they turned thirty.
“Yes,” I said, equally as suspicious of where she was going with this.
“You’re a sophomore?” I simply nodded my head this time, wondering why she was asking questions with such obvious answers. “And you’ve never been to the nurse’s office?” Ah. Now I knew where the suspicion was coming from.
“I don’t get sick very often,” I said, figuring that would clear things up. The woman looked me up and down for a minute. I’m assuming she decided that if I hadn’t faked a headache in my whole high school and junior high career, I probably wouldn’t start now.
“You can go ahead and lie on that bed there,” she finally said, pointing to something that I thought looked nothing like a bed. It was more like a long brown armrest with wax paper over it. “Would you like something for your head?” she asked, her tone much more hospitable now that she knew I wasn’t one of those students who came to the nurse’s office every day because they mysteriously developed a headache during P.E. and math.
“No, I think I’ll be fine. I just need to rest for a moment,” I answered, keeping my tone sweet and believable. The truth was that I just needed time to think about what I was going to do with the new choices in front of me. I lay down on the “bed,” which made funny crinkling sounds when the wax paper stuff bent under my weight. I wondered if they just threw the paper away after someone sat on it. Surely the school wouldn’t waste paper like that when hundreds of sick kids have sat at my classroom desk. Nobody threw those away after every use.
I let that tangent go, deciding to focus on the problems at hand. With my eyes closed and my arm resting lightly over my forehead, I went back over my options. Option 1: stay alone but quite within my comfort zone for the rest of my life. Option 2: drop my job, sink to everyone else’s level, and date a truly gorgeous and interesting boy. I guess saying that I’d be sinking to everyone else’s level was a bit arrogant of me. It wasn’t like I was above everyone else… I had just always thought of myself as separate from them, so to be just another part of the crowd was a less-than-desirable idea. However, I could comfort myself by thinking that if my only contact with the normal high school world was through a boyfriend, I still wasn’t really participating in the ridiculous high school stereotypes and primitive courting rituals. I could still maintain my individuality without being completely cut off. This could actually work.
With a smile slowly spreading across my face and a plan fully formed in my mind, I waited for the bell to ring so that I could set everything in motion.
Chapter Fourteen
I scanned the crowd during break, a nervous anticipation growing in my stomach. This was the first time since I’d met David that I was looking for him because I wanted to talk to him, rather than trying to avoid him like the plague. I half expected him to just pop up behind me like he always did, but perhaps I’d hurt his ego during our last encounter. Trying to ignore that possibility, I walked through the quad and over to my spot near the library, hoping he might be waiting for me there. The spot, however, was empty, just waiting to absorb the girl who had no friends and no family. I looked glumly at the empty wall before sliding to my normal place on the ground and resting my head on my knees. I was wearing white pants, so this probably wasn’t the best place to sit, but I had far more important things on my mind at the moment. Perhaps I hadn’t thought my brilliant plan through all the way. I hadn’t anticipated the possibility that David might not want to talk to me now. After all, I couldn’t expect him to wait around forever, though you’d think after waiting for a year, one class period wouldn’t really break his spirit.
I vaguely registered the presence of a warm body sliding down to sit beside me and when the miraculous smell that belonged to David hit my nose, a grin plastered itself to my face. I looked up at him, noting that he didn’t look particularly mad at me, just a bit resigned. “I wasn’t going to bother you but you looked a little sad,” he said dully. I could see his green eyes scanning my face, and when they took in the smile that I’m sure looked a bit maniacal, he smiled back tentatively. “So are you okay?”
“I’m wonderful,” I replied happily. “At least I think I am… or I will be.” He looked at me as if I were crazy, which seemed to be a normal expression for him, and I simply beamed back. “I think this could work,” I said finally.
“Wait, this as in this?” He motioned to himself and then me, implying that I meant “us.”
“Well, I was thinking about it, and maybe it wouldn’t be so bad to actually talk to someone other than myself, and make plans with someone other than myself, and… oh that’s right, actually have a friend other than myself.” He smiled at this and scooted closer, apparently coming to the decision that I wasn’t about to bite his head off.
“I’m glad you find me worthy to be in your presence, oh great one,” he said dramatically. I shoved him in the shoulder but went on, undaunted by his sarcasm.
“I mean it. I actually like you. Despite the fact that you’re self-righteous and frustrating, and you’ve been following me around for a year, which is pretty creepy-”
“Please don’t flatter me, you’re making me blush,” he said in a monotone voice.
“The thing is the whole ‘liking someone’ thing?-that’s never happened to me before. I’ve never wanted to be with someone. I’ve always been perfectly fine on my own, and then I met you and it was just… different.” I realized I was ranting, which was something I always did, but it usually happened in my head so those around me didn’t have to be subjected to it. Then again, that was David. He always made me say the strangest things-the kind of things that really belong in your head, that you always think but never say. Being around David was like taking some sort of honesty pill.
“I’m going to finish up with Nate and Karen and then I’m done. Those were your terms after all, weren’t they?” I smiled at him, actually excited by this thrilling new prospect.
“They were,” he agreed, still sounding a bit apprehensive of my motives. “Are you sure this is what you want? I mean, I don’t want you to be unhappy, and I realize I’ve been making you pretty miserable this week.” He looked down guiltily, though I could see a hint of a smile on his face. He didn’t really feel all that bad.
Without bothering to vocally tell him that this was indeed what I wanted, I lifted his chin and leaned over and kissed him. It was a long, wonderful, blissful kiss that felt like it might just keep going until the bell rang, and when he finally pulled away, my arms had, yet again, encircled his neck somehow, which proved to be slightly uncomfortable since we were sitting down. It was odd how I had no idea what was going on when I kissed him. Instead, I just sort of lived for that moment. I was also beginning to notice that now that I’d kissed him once, I was becoming a bit of an addict. Under any other circumstances I’d never take the initiative and kiss a boy, even if we’d kissed before. I suppose that was all part of the new Amelia.
David brought his hand to my cheek and gave me one more small kiss before leaning his back against the wall once again. “I’ll take that as a yes,” he said breathlessly. He closed his eyes and smiled. “It’s weird though.” I raised an eyebrow at these words, not quite sure what to make of them.
“What’s weird?” Surely he didn’t mean my kissing. I really had to stop worrying about that. It’s like I’d said before-it’s a pretty basic thing. How bad could I be?
“Just the way all of this came about. I mean, I set out to destroy you, and then became a bit infatuated with you. You set out to ruin my fake relationship, and then you started to like me. We have to have the most screwed- up relationship in the history of all screwed-up high school relationships.” He laughed quietly, his eyes still closed. I followed his example and leaned my head back against the wall, closing my eyes.
It was like a release from the craziness of the past week, just to sit there with David in silence, thinking about how we got to this point. I felt such a mix of emotions that it was almost difficult to catalogue them into separate categories just then. I was happy that I was actually going to make a connection with someone other than myself, I was scared out of my mind at the prospect of change and the unknown, and I was really wanting to kiss David again. Now that I had that option open on a consistent basis, I’d have to learn to keep my emotions under control. Except, now that he was my boyfriend, I should be able to kiss him whenever I wanted to. Or at least… I thought he was my boyfriend. I guess we hadn’t actually had that talk.
“So… do we need a DTR or are we pretty much past that?” I asked, opening my eyes to look at him. He turned
