She Shoots to Conquer

“It wasn’t a fall,” I protested. “It was a… slide. And please,” feeling a ridiculous desire to be made one of the family, “do call me Ellie.”

“Short for Eleanor?” Did Lord Belfrey frequently display that knack of indicating a vital interest in something of minor importance?

“Giselle.” Mrs. Malloy assumed the role of speaking for me, given that the balance of my mind was disturbed. “Her husband is Ben,” no appreciative smile from that quarter, “and my name’s Roxie.”

Lord Belfrey acknowledged this information with a smile that puffed up Mrs. Malloy’s bosom under her taffeta ensemble and doubtless turned her knees to water. Could I begrudge her the thrill? Yes! She would get him alone at the speediest opportunity and propose herself as a contestant on Here Comes the Bride. No sooner thought than done. She made her move. The hussy coyly suggested to his lordship that it might be proper for the two of them to leave the room while his cousin examined me. His consummate gallantry would have demanded this of him, but I watched him go with more regret than was appropriate in a woman with a husband of ten magical years standing devotedly at her sickbed… sofa.

Dr. Rowley-Tommy, as he urged me to call him-produced one of those eye-inspecting gadgets with all the enthusiasm of a schoolboy pretending to be a grown-up.

“A bright light!”

“Yes.” I wanted to ask him what he thought of Lord Belfrey’s plan to find a wife.

“Wear glasses?”

“No. Your cousin…”

“Aubrey?”

“An aristocratic name.”

“And I got stuck with plain old Thomas.” He chuckled while setting aside the instrument and beginning to probe the back of my head with enthusiastic fingers. “That hurt?”

“Some. Mr. Plunket mentioned that his lordship inherited the title from another cousin.”

“Lie still, sweetheart,” Ben urged.

“That was Giles.” Tommy was now probing my neck. “Our paternal grandfather had three sons. Each of whom fathered only one child. The eldest produced Giles, the second Aubrey, and the youngest got stuck with me.”

I murmured a protest before saying: “Didn’t Giles have children?

“Another only and this time a girl.” Tommy continued to beam encouragement while laying my head back on the cushion. “Celia, who lives at Witch Haven and is likely to have brandy in the house. What does that make her to Aubrey and me? Daughter of a first cousin! I always have trouble working these relationships out. Always seem like something out of Genesis to me, this begetting or is it begatting? Too much to work out for a simple country doctor. That’s the trouble with being the son of the third son, means a job. Not that Aubrey didn’t have to work.” Tommy blushed, embarrassment written all over his cherub face, as if in anticipation of a rebuke from his form master. “He went out to America as a very young man and stayed there, working for an insurance firm, until coming back last year when Giles died.”

America! So that explained his sounding, as well as looking, like Cary Grant-another transplanted Englishman.

“It seems he didn’t return with the proverbial fortune.” Ben’s tone was hard to read.

“No.” Tommy was standing, repacking his bag in readiness for another game of let’s pretend to be a big, grown-up doctor. “The firm went under. Unethical behavior on the part of several of the high-ups. Hard on Aubrey. Clean as a whistle in his own dealings.” His voice deflated like a ball bounced too often. “Anyone can tell that, even after only a year of getting back to knowing him. And now when he’d come up with this plan, which couldn’t have been made lightly, to restore Mucklesfeld, we have this evening’s tragedy.”

“My wife is going to be all right?” Ben demanded sharply.

“Oh, yes. I don’t see any reason for alarm.” Did Tommy sound ever so faintly disappointed? Was he aching for the chance to do a bit of delicate suturing or better yet wield a laser gun? “I was speaking of the car accident that took the life of one of the contestants.”

“You were brought in on the scene?” Ben did not sound abashed by his error, which was understandable, given the husband he is. I hoped Tommy would see it that way. He was very likely a married man himself.

“Oh, yes! Aubrey, after discovering that the phone was out, as happens not infrequently here when the weather is bad-he drove to my house knowing I have a cellular, which he doesn’t. After getting in touch with the police, I came back with him in his car. It was that drive that made him think it would be better-quicker-for him to walk, as I had done on returning home, when he needed me again. Don’t remember such a fog! Not at all surprising what happened to the poor woman-Aubrey told me her name was Suzanne Varney.” Tommy’s round brown eyes shone more brightly than ever with what had to be the gloss of tears. My heart warmed to his childlike sensitivity. “Only forty-five, so Aubrey said. Severe blunt chest trauma. The autopsy will get to the nub of it. Only minor damage to the face. It was obvious she had been a pretty woman.” A tear trickled down a rounded cheek. “She won’t need much fixing up by the mortician to have her looking her very best for the funeral if the family chooses an open coffin. That’ll be a consolation.”

“Let’s hope,” said Ben.

Tommy wiped away the tear with his jacket sleeve and drew a shaky breath. “You’ll have to excuse me; I’m a sentimental old bachelor. My daily helper, Mrs. Spuds, keeps going on at me about getting a cat. It is a temptation. But I’m not sure I’m ready after losing Blackie. It still hurts too much after forty years. He was my birthday present when I was ten, and twelve and a half when he got out onto the road and was hit by a…”

I wondered sadly-with thoughts of my own Tobias-if there had been any fixing Blackie up for the funeral.

“But enough of myself.” Tommy blinked bravely.

“My wife?” Ben prodded, not looking quite as moved as I was.

“Indeed, yes. I think you have it right-although I could be wrong, we doctors so often are. A bad tension headache, possibly-or perhaps a migraine.”

“She fainted.” Ben sounded determined on a bleak diagnosis.

“Explained most likely by the stress she mentioned.”

“She fell.”

“Yes, well… uhmm.” Tommy appeared rattled. Maybe he wouldn’t be a doctor when he grew up. Clearly patients could be awkward, expecting a fellow to be sure of his facts. Better perhaps to go back to wanting to be a fireman or a bus driver. But hadn’t his mum and dad always told him not to be a wussy puss? Suddenly he straightened to his full five six, squared his shoulders, and stuck out his rounded chin. Time to assert himself. “People usually… generally… almost invariably, although this is arguable, don’t fall hard when they faint. They… crumple.”

“The latest medical term?”

“Oh, Ben, please! Dr. Rowley has to know what he’s talking about. He must see hundreds of patients.”

“I can’t say that,” demurred the truthful boy. “Grimkirk is a very small village, just a couple of shops and a strip of cottages. But I do see the occasional farmer and person on holiday. Let’s say,” chuckling convincingly, “I keep my hand in.”

“I’m sure you do.” My maternal instinct was aroused, and I was further touched on seeing when he bent to unlatch and relatch his bag that there was bald spot on the back of his head. What he needed more than a cat was a grown-up wife to tell him he was wonderfully clever. I wondered about his daily-Mrs. Spuds (who could forget such a name?). A woman who liked cats had to be nice, but like as not she already had a husband who wouldn’t take kindly to her marrying someone else, bigamy not having the cachet it once did.

“Ellie,” Ben sat down beside me on the sofa, “what sort of husband would I be if I didn’t worry about you?”

“But I’m feeling better,” I said, and realized it was true. Mrs. Foot’s gray biscuit and dreadful tea had settled. I felt less queasy and my headache was barely noticeable if I lay still.

“My prescribed treatment,” Tommy puffed out his chest, “is for you to go immediately to bed and once there be given a light meal and a drink, after which you will take the tablets I will leave for you. Two to be repeated every four hours if you should wake and feel the need.”

Lovely as this sounded, I had to explain the obvious. “But I can’t go straight to bed. We have to drive home or at least find a place to spend the night.”

“Out of the question.” Tommy was back to his beaming schoolboy self. “Aubrey will insist you stay here. If I