message I read in the eyes of the real woman was, What sins have I committed that my only son marries a barefoot woman in a three-piece man’s suit with hair like seaweed who mistakes me for a charwoman?
As we stood by the Aga cooker in the kitchen, I pecked at her cheek and, to her credit, she flinched only a little. Now what? I took her bag and set it on the counter.
“Ben’s in London on business to do with his cookery book. He’ll be back this evening.” I squared the bag so it wouldn’t fall over the edge of the counter.
“That’s good.” Her arms hung lank at her sides.
I picked up the kettle. “Ben has been so concerned about you, as have I.” I sounded pitifully like an amateur actress who’s been told to project. “He was relieved to hear that you had written to Paris, but I know he kept hoping for a letter.” Should I modify that statement to delete any hint of criticism?
“Naturally I wanted to write to my only son. But he would have had to show the letters to you and it didn’t seem fair to drag you into our family problems.” She looked the room up and down. “This is a nice place you’ve got here, Eleanor. Some holy pictures on the walls and you could make it a lot more homey.” She sized up the copper pans and hanging plants.
“Thank you.” I reached into a cupboard, took a rubber band from a jar and dragged my hair back. Panic struck. What did I call her? Mother? Magdalene? “Do, please, sit down.” Relax, Ellie! And will you stop talking to her as though you still think she is a down-on-her-luck applicant for a job! I shoved the kettle under the tap. Water splattered all over my waistcoat. Why couldn’t I be warm and easy like Bunty? Or serenely gracious like Ann Delacorte? If Dorcas had been here, my inadequacies would have been less apparent. She would have slipped off my mother-in-law’s coat, chafed her small hands, popped her teeny feet onto a stool, talking all the while-“I say, Mum, frightfully ripping this! By the time our man Bentley gets home tonight, you and I will be thick as soup!”
Mrs. Haskell had taken off her coat and was neatly folding it over a chair. I tried to flex my face into the type women want their sons to marry. It was hopeless. Some basic ingredient is missing from my personality. I cannot ease gracefully into new relationships. And to make excuses for myself, this situation was hampered by my being exactly what Mrs. Haskell had expected, and she being nothing like the made-to-order mum I had conjured up. Death had endeared her to me, and I was going to have some trouble adjusting.
She pulled a chair away from the big scrubbed table, peered down at it, brushed it off with a glove, and sat. “Don’t let me keep you from what you normally do at this time of day, Eleanor.”
“You’re not keeping me from a thing. By the way, although it really doesn’t matter a scrap, my name-full name- is Giselle. However, if you prefer Eleanor, by all means-”
“I don’t like one better than the other.” She folded her hands and pressed her feet together. “But I don’t feel I can take the liberty of calling you Ellie.”
“Oh, please do!” I plopped the kettle on the stove, soaking it and me.
She watched me sopping up with a teacloth. “I won’t, if you don’t mind-it’s a bit too much like Eli, and-”
“Yes?” Now we’re coming to it, I thought.
“Ellie’s a frilly sort of name and you don’t look that sort.”
I restrained myself. This was not a propitious moment to reveal that I had locked myself out of the house as a direct result of a marital spat or that I had changed out of my wet clothes in the home of a strange man.
She rubbed her hands together and pulled down her beret, making her ears stick out. “Well then, Giselle, you won’t want to call me Mother, so better make it Magdalene.” Before I could answer, she observed, “I hadn’t realised this house was so secluded.”
I was about to stutter an apology for the location of Merlin’s Court when she added:
“Nice.”
At last-after all those minutes-my mother-in-law had paid me a compliment. My heart sang. The kettle gave a shrill echo, its metal cap going into a bobbling dance as steam clouded the air. I dropped a couple of tea bags into the earthenware pot (the silver one wouldn’t be nearly as friendly) and sloshed on the scalding water.
“Don’t think me interfering, Giselle, but did you forget to warm the pot?”
I counted to ten. The temptation to spit on the tea bags, floating like the bloated bodies of string-tailed rats, was strong. “I’ll pitch this and start again.”
“You don’t find loose tea more economical?”
“I’ll get some in.”
“I hope you understand, Giselle, I am not criticising. My landing on you like this has you at sixes and sevens. Giselle, the tea cloth, is it about to singe?”
“Oh!” I fought to look casual. “I was just letting it dry.” The smoldering cloth flew from my hand into the sink.
Magdalene moved her chair. “Ben will have told you I always vowed that even should something happen to Eli I’d never land myself on him. The thought of being a burden… but of course it’s always easy to talk. After forty years of marriage and always doing my wifely duty, I never guessed that Mrs. Jarrod would happen to Eli.” Her voice faded.
“No, of course not.” Put the pot down, Ellie, an inner voice insisted; go over and put your arms around her.
“You mustn’t feel that way,” I said, feet still cemented down. “Ben and I will love having you here; although my guess is that when your husband knows you are here, he will be down immediately on the milk train.”
“I don’t think so.” She took the cup of tea I held out to her. “I imagine, Giselle, that you and Ben do rattle around in this big house, but there won’t always be just the two of you.” Over the rim of her cup she pointedly appraised my middle.
“Ben and I want children at the appropriate time.” My intent was to sound cheerfully optimistic, but due to my sucked-in breath, the words pinged out hard as tiddlywinks.
Magdalene’s lips drew together. “That’s your Protestant thinking.
My hands shook as I poured soup into a saucepan. My mother-in-law unbuttoned her cardigan and wrapped it around herself. I’d have to turn up the heat. If the soup would only boil… if Freddy would only come knocking at the door. What I needed was five minutes alone to pace up and down and sink my psyche into the role of good daughter-in-law. If I could only get her to tell me where she had been these last five months.
“I expect, Giselle, that Ben has told you I had him late in life and nearly died three times when he was born. Father Padinsky was a new priest then, and I’ll never forget him getting in such a fluster, checking with the bishop on how many times he could administer the Last Sacrament.”
Warmth crept through me. This woman had suffered to bring the man I loved into the world.
“Giselle, the soup is boiling over, but don’t worry. I don’t like tomato, or rather it doesn’t like me.” She shifted in her chair and I opened up the fridge to cool off and get out stuff for ham sandwiches.
“I don’t suppose you read old medical journals, but I was written up in every one of them for months, years. I’ll have to show you the scrapbook I’ve been keeping for the grandchildren, when-if-I return to Tottenham.” She tweaked at her cardigan sleeves. “Did you say Ben went to London to see Eli?”
“No, to see his publisher.”
“Ben’s father not talking to him does complicate things, no getting around that.” Now surely she would tell me where she had been all this time. I slid the sandwiches and teapot onto the table and sat down. I had forgotten the cosy, but perhaps Magdalene wouldn’t notice.
“And when will my boy be home?”
“About seven.”
“Hours to go.” She said it; I thought it.
“Giselle, did you mean to leave off the cosy? It’s a bit worn, isn’t it? I’ll have to crochet you a new one. After all, I have to do something to make up for landing on your doorstep, asking to be taken in like a stray cat.”
“You mustn’t think like that.” My eyes crept to the clock.
“That cat-the one that followed you in here, it
I’d read in
“Tobias? I promise, he won’t bother you.”
Magdalene opened up the sandwich on her plate and rearranged the sliced ham. “I’m the visitor, making me the one not to bother anyone. Cats
