Bedding The Billionaire

Lil cocked her head thoughtfully. “You think I’m trying to be Abby?”

“You tell me.”

Lil thought about how she’d always wished she were more like Abby. How, even at their parents’ funeral, Abby had seemed able to make better decisions. She hadn’t cried too long at the caskets, hadn’t refused to meet relatives who had flown in from around the country and definitely hadn’t thrown a bowl of candies at someone who had dared to try to console her.

No, right from the start Abby had been the better person.

Or, at the very least, the less controversial one.

Oh, my God, I’ve been trying to be Abby.

And hating her because I couldn’t be.

“Did Abby really say I was like my mother?”

Zhang smiled. “She did. Did you know that your mother was arrested for participating in a war protest?”

Lil’s jaw dropped open. “No. I’ve never heard that story.”

“Apparently your mother’s fighting heart got her into a few tricky situations-some even involving the law.”

That’s not possible.

“I don’t remember my mother being anything but warm and loving.”

“Your sister has been going through some of your parents’ old papers and was equally surprised by some of what she found. I’m sure she would love to show you the newspaper clippings if you were interested.”

“I am. I can’t believe my mother was ever arrested. She was so…perfect.”

Zhang gave a rueful smile. “The heart remembers people kindly, but no one is perfect. I’ve heard about some of your adventures and I admire your spirit. You stand up for those you care about. You say what you think, no matter the cost. Those are qualities I respect. You should, too.” The simplicity and power of Zhang’s comment hung in the reflective quiet that followed them.

Ok, so I’ll never be Abby, but if Zhang was right-maybe I don’t have to be.

“I’ve wasted a lot of time second guessing myself,” Lil said, marveling at how comfortable she felt sharing her greatest concern with someone she didn’t know. Or perhaps it was simply because she didn’t know Zhang that she could say what she had tried to conceal from even herself.

Zhang shrugged. “I didn’t get where I am today by never making a mistake.”

Maybe I’ll be a good mother after all and this year will simply be newspaper clipping my kids will laugh about. “Thank you, Zhang. I can’t tell you how much you’ve helped me.”

Zhang nodded, still looking far too solemn.

Her unhappiness was none of Lil’s business.

This was exactly the type of crossroad Lil felt she often made the wrong decision at.

Things would go much smoother if she didn’t get involved.

I’ve never really been the one to take the easy road, maybe it’s time to embrace that about myself.

“Why don’t you want to be in the wedding?” Lil asked.

The same woman who had freely discussed Lil’s personal life did not seem as willing to reveal anything about her own. “I’m not exactly the American wedding type.”

“You don’t want to drink too much while dressed from head-to-toe in mauve taffeta and wake up the next morning wondering why you French kissed your best friend’s brother?”

Zhang didn’t so much as crack a smile.

Tough crowd.

“Something like that,” Zhang said.

“Why do I get the feeling you’ve never done that?”

That did get Zhang to smile.

“I haven’t either.” At Zhang’s raised eyebrow, Lil admitted, “Okay, once…maybe twice.”

Zhang shook her head in amusement.

Lil defended herself with humor. “Hey, don’t knock it until you’ve tried it. Something about weddings makes me a little nutty.”

The other woman’s smile slipped away. “Weddings make me sad.”

Now, we’re getting somewhere.

“Is that the reason you don’t want to be in Abby’s?”

Zhang didn’t respond for a moment. Instead, she took in the night sky as if no response were anticipated. Finally, she said, “I’m the woman I wanted to become. I have more than I could have ever imagined. I’ve done more than I ever dreamt I could. But I’m alone.”

It was difficult for Lil to imagine that a woman as confident and beautiful as Zhang wouldn’t have a man in her life. The real sadness in her voice hinted at a level of loneliness more profound than a romantic dry spell.

“Don’t you have a family?” Lil asked.

“Yes, of course. My parents often join me in whichever home I am using at the time, but I go to sleep alone. I wake up alone. When I close on a deal and want to celebrate I can call friends who wonder how much money will be enough for me, parents who think it’s time for me to concentrate on finding a husband, or keep the news to myself. I often choose the latter.” Zhang’s intense black eyes revealed a pain Lil was certain the woman had not shared with many. “Your sister tells me that you won’t accept anyone’s help because you want to be independent. Be careful what you wish for. Sometimes it’s not everything you thought it would be.”

Lil thought about Jake. She’d been afraid that she would lose herself if she accepted any help from him but, looking back, Jake had consistently shown her that he valued her interests and her goals. It would have been easy for a man of his wealth to dismiss her desire to finish her degree, but he hadn’t. Another man might have asked to see one of her sketches and buried her beneath a deluge of flattery that would have meant nothing, but Jake hadn’t done that either. He had respected the desire every artist has to learn and improve. Her gut told her that Jake wouldn’t make her choose-she could still be a strong, independent woman and be his.

If only he loved her.

Yes, he wanted her. Yes, he respected her, but what if he had nothing more than that to offer her?

Even if I take my betrayal with me to the grave…is half of Jake better than none?

There were plenty of things Lil had no control over: she couldn’t make Jake love her, she couldn’t undo the past, but she could damn well put her insecurities aside and do the right thing for Abby.

“I’ll make you a deal, Zhang.”

The woman looked at her.

“I’ll find Abby and tell her that I’d love to be her maid of honor if you say yes to being a bridesmaid. You keep me out of trouble at the wedding and I’ll make you laugh.”

Zhang’s expression was difficult to interpret.

“Deal?” Lil asked hopefully.

“Yes,” she said slowly.

Abby stepped out onto the balcony. “Oh, this is where you two disappeared to.”

Zhang stood and said, “Excuse me, but I know the two of you have things you need to discuss.”

Lil touched Zhang’s arm before she left and said, “Thank you.”

Zhang nodded with a smile that reached her eyes and said, “Don’t be afraid to soar, Lil. Find your wings.” Then she exited the balcony.

Abby came to sit beside her sister. At first neither said anything and then they both said,

“I’m sorry,” in union and stopped.

Lil said, “I wish life had a do-over button, Abby. I feel like I have so much to apologize to you for.”

Abby took her sister’s hand in one of hers. “I understand that feeling all too well.”

Lil squeezed her hand. “I blamed you for so many things that were not your fault, Abby.”

Abby put a supportive arm around her. “Oh, don’t worry, some of it was my fault, I’m sure. I wanted to be there for you, Lil, so much so that sometimes I didn’t listen to what you were telling me you needed.”

Lil said, “I’m sorry that I embarrassed you in front of the Andrade family.”

Abby gave her a small smile. “Trust me, your walk out was not the most embarrassing part of the meal.”