Avarna Ceili Band. Colin had persuaded Emily to go on the carousel with him and I sat on the steps of the funhouse. I held the doll in my hands. The name Jane seemed to suit her. I used to find porcelain dolls a little creepy when I was younger… the way their eyes stared… But this one felt different. She had gentle green eyes, black hair and wore a pretty peach dress.
It began to drizzle, so I put the doll into my patchwork bag and went inside to shelter.
Typical funfair music played in the background as I walked around inside the funhouse. I seemed to be the only person there. There was no sound except for the music. It looped over and over, the whole thing consisting of just eight bars. It wrecked my head. The funhouse was divided into rooms, and you moved from one to the next through circular doorways. The first room was full of distorted mirrors. In the first mirror I was tall and leggy, towering over my actual self, and in the second mirror I was twice my width and half my height, my head crushed down into my body, so I had no neck. And in the next one half my face bulged out, as if a giant bump had swelled up on my forehead. I wished Colin was with me; we would have had a great laugh.
The next room was a pit of multicoloured balls, and I had to drag my feet through them to get out. In the room after that there were different-coloured revolving circles on the floor. The funhouse was quite dark, the walls illuminated by twinkling gold lights. It had an eerie quality and I wondered if Jane would appear. It was dark and claustrophobic, like the forest and the back of the cafe. It made sense that she’d pick here. If she came back, I’d try to get a closer look at her… find out what she looked like. Maybe this was what she wanted… Maybe this was where I was supposed to end up. I took a step back and whispered. ‘I’m listening.’
A loud voice startled me. It was coming from outside. It was a man, yelling and cursing angrily.
‘I can’t believe you did that!’ The voice was familiar. I realized it was Des. A sliver of light snuck in through a gap in the back wall. I bent down and peeked through it. Des was standing beside the generator, next to Chris.
‘I didn’t mean to!’ said Chris, his voice shaking. Chris bent down and started to wind up a length of wire, but Des snatched it from him.
‘Just leave it alone. Leave the wires. And turn that switch off!’ Des was frighteningly angry. I’d never heard him raise his voice. I watched him inspect the generator while Chris shuffled about awkwardly. It was frightening to hear such venom and anger in his voice – it seemed so out of character. Des gave Chris a dirty look and then stormed off.
I rushed out of the funhouse and ran over to the carousel. I didn’t want Des to see me. I didn’t want to have to talk to him. Maybe there was a darker side to his personality after all. And, if he had killed Beth, then maybe he had killed again. Maybe he had killed Jane.
Chapter 19
The next day Mum was standing in the front garden in a gypsy dress and cardigan, her pink sling-back sandals hidden in the long grass. She was looking up at the house. The weather was getting cooler, the summer slipping away steadily. I was wearing my faded skinny jeans, a white T-shirt and grey waistcoat, each of its buttons encrusted with a little jewel. I stepped out of the caravan and walked across the grass. Mum didn’t budge; she just stood there, staring at the house. She’d been so upset when I’d told her about Des. At first she didn’t believe it, but then she’d found out that quite a few people in the village suspected him, so she’d decided to cool things off. She hadn’t spoken to him for a few days. I didn’t want to tell her about his angry outburst at the fete. It would only upset her more.
‘Are you all right, Mum?’ I asked, touching her arm.
‘Hmm?’ she said, looking at me. It was sad to see her like this. She’d really been into Des. I wanted the old Mum back. The one who flicked ferociously through home magazines for decorating ideas and got overly excited when kitchen units and bathroom tiles arrived.
‘Are you OK?’ I said.
‘Yes. Yes, I’m fine. I was just thinking…’ Mum shuffled her feet in the grass.
‘About what?’
‘Nothing important really… you know, just… stuff. The house looks great, doesn’t it?’
‘It’s beautiful,’ I agreed.
‘It’s exactly how I imagined it would be,’ she said, her words positive, but her tone deflated. I knew what she was thinking about. Or, rather, who she was thinking about. I wanted to say something comforting, something to make her feel better, but I just couldn’t think of anything. She probably didn’t want to talk about it anyway. I knew that’s how I’d felt, when I’d had my heart broken. I didn’t want to talk about it, because it hurt too much. I thought it best just to stand there in silence. It wasn’t awkward with Mum; it was nice. We didn’t have to talk; we could just be. She knew I felt bad for her, she knew I cared. It was kind of overwhelming when I thought about all the millions of reasons why people broke up. There were so many obstacles, so many things that could go wrong.
Suddenly, we heard a loud noise like falling stones behind the house. The sound startled me. The builders weren’t here. I wondered what it could be. I turned to Mum.
‘What was that?’ I said.
‘Sounds like something fell,’ said Mum. ‘I hope nothing’s damaged.’
We hurried round the back.
‘Maybe it was a cat or something,’ said Mum as we turned the corner. We looked around the garden. The stack of red bricks in the corner had been knocked down and strewn across the ground. But it wasn’t a cat. We just caught a glimpse of a man disappearing through a gap in the hedge.
‘Who the hell was that?’ said Mum.
I was afraid to say who I thought it was.
‘That looked a bit like Des,’ said Mum. ‘Did you see his face?’
‘No, I didn’t see his face, but it could have been him.’ I was getting worried now.
‘Why would Des climb through our hedge?’ Mum sounded more confused than frightened.
‘I don’t know… but I have a bad feeling about him.’
‘What do you mean?’
‘Mum, I’m not sure he’s that innocent any more. I overheard him get really angry with someone at the fete. Maybe he’s not as nice as we think he is.’ I didn’t want to upset her, but I had to be honest.
‘Hold on… could he have been spying on us?’ Mum looked worried now.
‘I don’t know. Maybe -’
‘That’s it. We’re leaving.’
‘Mum, calm down.’
‘Jacki, I can’t deal with this any more. He was spying on us. A lot of people think he killed a woman. We need to get out of here. C’mon, let’s pack up.’
‘But -’
Mum marched towards the caravan. All I could do was follow her. She pulled her suitcase out from under her bed and began to fling things into it.
‘Mum, can we talk more about -’
‘Now!’
‘Mum -’
‘Put some things in a bag. We’re going back to Dublin.’
‘Dublin? No! We can’t go back. I need to be here.’
‘You can still see that Reynolds boy.’
‘It’s not only about him. I need to be here, Mum.’
‘We’re not coming back until the house is finished. I’m not staying in this caravan.’
This wasn’t fair. I couldn’t leave now. Jane needed me. I could cope with not seeing Nick, but I couldn’t cope with letting Jane down. I went into the bathroom, pretending to pack up my make-up, but really just trying to figure out how I was going to stall Mum. When I came back out she looked terrible. Her hands were shaking and her face was white with shock. I watched her put some freshly washed clothes into her suitcase along with her make-up and jewellery.
