Eighteen Kisses

from the shop and went straight upstairs. She walked in on Libby rooting through her stuff.’

‘So she did come back to the house,’ I said.

‘Yeah. Nobody else saw her come in though,’ said Hazel.

‘Calum said he thought he saw her… and he wasn’t lying.’

‘Calum was hammered; nobody really believed him and he wasn’t even sure himself anyway.’

‘Why was Libby going through her stuff?’ I asked.

‘She was convinced Kayla had hidden her pills, and she was right.’

‘So, what, Libby killed Kayla because she’d hidden her drugs?’

‘Kayla hadn’t hidden them out of any sisterly affection,’ said Hazel coldly. ‘She just didn’t want Libby getting off her face, or offering them to any of her angelic friends. Just because Kayla didn’t agree with it didn’t mean she had the right to control everybody else. Libby worked hard; she deserved to let loose once in a while. Anyway, Libby found them hidden in Kayla’s room and went mental. And she told Kayla to stay away from her boyfriend too, that she obviously liked him, but that he wasn’t interested and it just made Kayla look pathetic. Everybody knew Rob liked Kayla, and it tore Libby apart. And then Kayla said something like, “I don’t want to steal him, but I could if I wanted to.” And she pushed past Libby to get to her mirror. That was too much. Libby just snapped; she pushed Kayla back too hard and she went tumbling down the stairs. Libby said she could hear the crack of her neck as she hit the floor. She wanted to call for somebody, she wanted to explain what had happened, but she said her body just shut down and she wasn’t able to cope with the situation. The guilt was too much and she wasn’t able to move. That can happen – you just completely go into shock. I went upstairs to go to the bathroom and found Libby hunched over on the floor, facing away from Kayla and just muttering, “Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god.” I knew before I touched Kayla that she was dead; I could sense it. She wasn’t breathing; she was definitely gone and there was nothing I could do for her. I looked at Libby, and I was about to call an ambulance, but then I could hear my mum’s voice in my head: “Take care of your little sister.” And I guess this sort of weird protective urge kicked in, and I knew I could do something. I knew Libby’s life didn’t have to be ruined. She could claim it was an accident or self-defence or whatever, but everybody knew they hated each other. Libby wanted to be a doctor; she couldn’t get a criminal record. Kayla was already dead, there was nothing I could do for her, but I could save Libby.’

‘Your mother wouldn’t have wanted you to lie,’ I said.

‘You don’t have any siblings, do you?’ she asked. I didn’t answer. I didn’t want to tell her that my mum was expecting a baby, that I was going to have a little brother or sister. I didn’t want her to know something like that.

‘If you did, you might be able to understand.’

‘I know I wouldn’t help cover up something like this.’

‘Really?’ she said. ‘We’d all like to think we’d do the right thing, but I don’t think you can be sure what you’d do until the time comes to make the decision. It’s easy for you to sit there and judge me and tell me what I should have done. Do you not think I deeply regret everything that’s happened? Of course I do. Of course I see Kayla’s face every time I close my eyes; of course I think I hear her speak to me in that house when I’m trying to sleep. But it’s done now. I made a decision and I have to deal with it. And I still think Libby is better off this way. I still think it was the right choice.’

In a way I felt sorry for Libby. She was living with this horrible guilt and secrecy, but she didn’t have to. It had been Hazel’s idea to cover it up, not Libby’s. She’d only gone along with it. Hazel had convinced her to do it – and she’d convinced Barry to bury Kayla.

‘And you didn’t mind dragging your boyfriend into it too?’ I said.

Hazel smiled.

‘Barry’s in the army,’ she said. ‘He’s seen a lot worse than that. I knew I couldn’t get rid of the body by myself, and Libby was in no state to help me. It was difficult to think, what with all the noise coming from downstairs, but I came up with a plan. I told Libby to put some make-up on and go downstairs and act like nothing was wrong. If she was gone much longer, people would start to get suspicious. I told her that the first few hours would be the worst, that once she got past them she’d be able to cope. Because I figured once you go far enough into a lie you’re too scared to go back anyway. She was hysterical, but I kept telling her to calm down and not to tell anyone. It was really important not to tell anyone.

‘Those initial hours were the worst. I knew if I could get her through them then everything would be all right. It took me a while, but I eventually calmed her down. I explained the situation to Barry – it took a bit of convincing, but he’s so in love with me that he agreed. I reminded him that he told me he’d do anything for me, and that I’d owe him so much if he did this. I knew I could trust him to keep a secret. I didn’t want to get rid of the body that night because I knew we’d have to find somewhere really remote. So we put her in a black bin bag and hid her in Barry’s garage. I kept watch while he was moving her. Nobody noticed. I asked him to cut up the body – I wanted to hide it in different places so it would be harder to find, and he tried, but he only barely cut her arm before he gave up. He wasn’t able to do it; he wasn’t as strong as I’d thought. That nearly broke him – he was going to call the guards then.’

I looked down at the faded scratch on my arm that ran right round my elbow and I felt disgust rise inside me.

‘Why didn’t you do it yourself?’ I said. ‘If you wanted her cut up, why didn’t you do it?’

‘You think I couldn’t have, don’t you? You think I’m a coward.’

I didn’t answer. I didn’t think she was a coward – I was afraid of what she was capable of. She was clearly completely unstable and dangerous.

‘I could have,’ she said. ‘But you see, so far, I hadn’t done anything. I didn’t want Libby to go to jail, but I sure as hell wasn’t going in her place. I could have buried Kayla myself, but I wanted Barry to do it. I told him I’d do anything. I think he liked that. I don’t think he ever felt like he was in control in our relationship, and this gave him the dominance he wanted. It all just worked out. Libby and I, we acted like everything was normal, and we pretended to be worried about her just like everybody else. And it got easier with time. That serial killer was going around abducting women, conveniently enough, and people just jumped to that conclusion. Nobody suspected any of us.’

‘Detective Sergeant Lawlor did,’ I said.

‘Yes, well, he’s special, isn’t he? Very special, in fact,’ she smirked.

I ignored her. I couldn’t believe she was being so obnoxious while confessing to what she’d done.

‘Do… Anna and your father know?’ I asked. I couldn’t imagine they’d help cover for them like this, but I guessed anything was possible.

‘No. I’ve thought about telling Dad, but he’s too in love with Anna. He’d want to tell her. The only people who know are me, Libby and Barry. And you. That’s it. Barry won’t tell anybody. He knows he’d go to jail.

‘It feels good to tell somebody all this,’ Hazel added with a sigh. ‘I’ve been holding it in for so long.’

‘I’m glad you told me,’ I said, starting to back away. I had all the information I came for. ‘It must be a relief to get it off your chest. And when we tell the guards that will be an even bigger relief. Libby is a nervous wreck – she needs to tell somebody.’

‘Libby was fine before all this was dragged up. And she’ll be fine again, now that everything has been taken care of.’

‘What do you mean?’

‘This isn’t getting out,’ said Hazel, walking over to the door and locking it. I was starting to feel kind of scared now. I was ready for a fight, but I had no idea what this girl might try to do.

‘Detective Sergeant Lawlor’s outside,’ I said confidently.

She laughed. ‘Sure he is. Don’t worry though, I’m not going to hurt you. Take a seat – I have something you might like to see.’

I decided to stay. I wanted to see, I wanted to know.

Hazel walked behind the bar and re-emerged with a laptop. She opened it up.

What was she going to show me? I wondered. I had no idea.

Hazel switched on the laptop and waited for it to power up.

‘Mum asked me to take care of Libby,’ she said, staring at it.

‘She said, “Hazel, please look after your sister. Keep her safe, no matter what it takes.”’