13 The Saint Intervenes (Boodle)

Saint.

XII

The Art Photographer

'It becomes increasingly obvious,' said the Saint, 'that the time has arrived when we shall have to squash Mr. Gilbert Tanfold.'

He did not utter this prophecy within the hearing of Mr. Tanfold, for that would have been a gesture of a kind in which Simon Templar indulged more rarely now than he had once been wont to do. If the time had arrived when the squashing of Mr. Tanfold became a public service which no altruistic freebooter could refuse to perform, the time had also passed when the squashing could be carried out with full theatrical honours, with a haloed drawing on a plain card left pinned to the resultant blob of grease to tell the world that Simon Templar had been there. There was too much interest in his activities at Scotland Yard for anything like that to be entered upon without an elaborate preparation of alibis, which was rather more trouble than he thought Mr. Tanfold was worth. But the ripeness for squashing, the zerquetschenreiftichkeit, if we may borrow a word which the English lan­guage so unhappily lacks, of Mr. Gilbert Tanfold, even if it could not be made a public ceremony, could not be over­looked altogether for any such trivial reason.

The advertisements of Mr. Tanfold appeared in the black pages of several appropriate journals, and were distin­guished by their prodigality of exclamation marks and their unusual vagueness of content. The specimen which was an­swered by a certain Mr. Tombs was fairly typical.

PARISIAN ART PHOTOS !!!!!!!!

rare !         extraordinary !!

Special offer! (Cannot be repeated!) 100

unique poses, 3/6 post free. Exceptional

rarities, 10/-, 15/-, ?1, ?5 each!! Also

BOOKS!!!!

all editions, curiosities, erotic?, etc.!

'Gar­den of Love'   (very rare)   10/6.

Send for illustrated catalogue and samples!!!

G. TANFOLD & CO., Gaul St., Birmingham.

It was an advertisement which regularly brought in a re­markable amount of business, considering that it left so much to the imagination; but certain imaginations are like that.

The imagination of Mr. Gilbert Tanfold, however, soared far above the ordinary financial possibilities of this common­place catering to pornography. If ever there was a man who did not believe in Art for Art's sake this man walked the earth with his ankles enveloped in the spats of Mr. Gilbert Tanfold. Where any other man trading in these artistic lines would have been content with the generous profit from the sale of his 'exceptional rarities,' Mr. Tanfold had made them merely stepping-stones to bigger things; which was one of the reasons for his tempting zerquetschenreiflichkeit aforesaid.

Every letter which came to his cheap two-roomed office in Birmingham was examined with an interest that would have astonished the unsuspecting writer. Those which, by inferior notepaper, cheaply printed letterheads, and/or clumsy hand­writing, branded their authors as persons of no great sub­stance, merely had their orders filled by return, as specified; and that, so far as Mr. Tanfold was concerned, was the end of them. But those letters which, by expensive paper, die-stamped letterheads, and/or an educated hand, hinted at a client who really had no business to be collecting rude pictures or 'curiosities,' came under the close scrutiny of Mr. Tanfold himself; and their orders were merely the beginning of many other things.

Mr. Tombs wrote on the notepaper of the Palace Royal Ho­tel, London, which was so expensive that only millionaires, film stars, and buccaneers could afford to live there; and it is a curious fact that Mr. Tanfold entirely forgot that third category of possible guests when he saw the letter. It must be admitted, in extenuation, that Simon Templar misled him. For as his profession (which all customers were asked to state with their order) he gave 'Business man (Australian).'