'I thought it sounded rather like something out of a cheap magazine.'
'There you are!' exclaimed Freddie triumphantly, from the middle distance. 'Isn't that amazing? Eh, Simon? Listen to this, Ginny. That's what she reads detective stories for. You'll like this. D'you know what Simon said when I showed him that note? What did you say, Simon?'
'I said it sounded a bit corny.'
'There!' said Freddie, personally vindicated. 'That's the very word he used. He said it was corny. That's what he said as soon as he read it.'
'That's what I thought too,' said Esther, 'only I didn't like to say so. Probably it's just some crackpot trying to be funny.'
'On the other hand,' Simon mentioned, 'a lot of crackpots have killed people, and plenty of real murders have been pretty corny. And whether you're killed by a crackpot or the most rational person in the world, and whether the performance is corny or not, you end up just as dead.'
'Don't a lot of criminals read detective stories?' Lissa asked.
The Saint nodded.
'Most of them. And they get good ideas from them, too. Most writers are pretty clever, in spite of the funny way they look, and when they go in for crime they put in a lot of reнsearch and invention that a practising thug doesn't have the time or the ability to do for himself. But he could pick up a lot of hints from reading the right authors.'
'He could learn a lot of mistakes not to make, too.'
'Maybe there's something in that,' said the Saint. 'Perнhaps the stupid criminals you were talking about are only the ones who don't read books. Maybe the others get to be so clever that they never get caught, and so you never hear about them at all.'
'Brrr,' said Ginny. 'You're giving me goose-pimples. Why don't you just call the cops?'
'Because the Saint's a lot smarter than the cops,' said Freddie. 'That's what I hired him for. He can run rings round the cops any day. He's been doing it for years. Lissa knows all about him, because she reads things. You tell them about him, Lissa.'
He came over with Х clusters of Manhattans in his hands, poured out in goblets that would have been suitable for fruit punch.
'Let her off,' said the Saint hastily. 'If she really knows the whole story of my life she might shock somebody. Let's do some serious drinking instead.'
'Okay,' said Freddie amiably. 'You're the boss. You go on being the mystery man. Let's all get stinking.'
The fact that they did not all get stinking was certainly no fault of Freddie Pellman's. It could not be denied that he did his generous best to assist his guests to attain that state of ideal ossification. His failure could only be attributed to the superior discretion of the company, and the remarkably high level of resistance which they seemed to have in comнmon.
It was quite a classic performance in its way. Freddie concocted two more Manhattans, built on the same scale as milk shakes. There was then a brief breathing spell while they went to their rooms to change. Then they went to the Doll House for dinner. They had two more normal-sized cocktails before the meal, and champagne with it. After that they had brandy. Then they proceeded to visit all the other bars up and down the main street, working from north to south and back again. They had Zombies at the Luau, Plantнer's Punches at the Cubana, highballs at the Chi Chi, and more highballs at Bil-Al's. Working back, they freshened up with some beer at Happy's, clamped it down with a Collins at the Del Tahquitz, topped it with Daiquiris at the Royal Palms, and discovered tequila at Claridge's. This brought them back to the Doll House for another bottle of champagne. They were all walking on their own feet and talking intelliнgibly, if not profoundly. People have received medals for less notable feats. It must be admitted nevertheless that there had been a certain amount of cheating. The girls, undoubtedly educated by past experiences, had contrived to leave a reнspectable number of drinks unfinished; and Simon Templar, who had also been around, had sundry legerdemains of his own for keeping control of the situation.
Freddie Pellman probably had an advantage over all of them in the insulating effect of past picklings, but Simon had to admit that the man was remarkable. He had been alcoholic when Simon met him, but he seemed to progress very little beyond that stage. Possibly he navigated with a little more difficulty, but he could still stand upright; possibly his speech became a little more slurred, but he could still be underнstood; certainly he became rather more glassy-eyed, but he could still see what was going on. It was as if there was a definite point beyond which his calloused tissues had no further power to assimilate liquid stimulus: being sodden already, the overflow washed over them without depositing any added exhilaration.
He sat and looked at his glass and said: 'There must be some other joints we haven't been to yet.'
Then he rolled gently over sideways and lay flat on the floor, snoring.
Ginny gazed down at him estimatingly and said: 'That's only the third time I've seen him pass out. It must be catchнing up with him.'
'Well, now we can relax,' said Esther, and moved her chair closer to the Saint.
'I think we'd better get him home,' Lissa said.
It seemed like a moderately sound idea, since the head waiter and the proprietor were advancing towards the scene with professional restraint.
Simon helped to hoist Freddie up, and they got him out to the car without waking him. The Saint drove them back to the house, and the lights went up as they stopped at the door. The Filipino boy came out and helped phlegmatically with the disembarcation. He didn't show either surprise or disapнproval. Apparently such homecomings were perfectly normal events in his experience.
Between them they carried the sleeper to his room and laid him on the bed.
'Okay,' said the boy. 'I take care of him now.'
He began to work Freddie expertly out of his coat.
'You seem to have the touch,' said the Saint. 'How long have you been in this job?'
' 'Bout six months. He's all right. You leave him to me, sir. I put him to bed.'
'What's your name?'
'Angelo, sir. I take care of him. You want anything, you tell me.'
'Thanks,' said the Saint, and drifted back to the living-room.
He arrived in the course of a desultory argument which sugнgested that the threat which had been virtually ignored all evening had begun to seem a little less ludicrous with the arнrival of bedtime.
'You can move in with me, Ginny,' Lissa was saying.
'Nuts,' said Ginny. 'You'll sit up half the night reading, and I want some sleep.'
'For a change,' said Esther. 'I'll move in with you, Lissa.'
'You snore,' said Lissa candidly.
'I don't!'
'And where does that leave me?' Ginny protested.
'I expect you'll find company,' Esther said sulkily. 'You've been working for it hard enough.'
Simon coughed discreetly.
'Angelo is in charge,' he said, 'and I'm going to turn in.'
'What, so soon?' pouted Esther. 'Let's all have another drink first. I know, let's have a game of strip poker.'
'I'm sorry,' said the Saint. 'I'm not so young as I was this afternoon. I'm going to get some sleep.'
'I thought you were supposed to be a bodyguard,' said Ginny.
The Saint smiled.
'I am, darling. I guard Freddie's body.'
'Freddie's passed out. You ought to keep us company.'
'It's all so silly,' Lissa said. 'I'm not scared. We haven't anything to be afraid of. Even if that note was serious, it's Freddie they're after. Nobody's going to do anything to us.'
'How do you know they won't get into the wrong room?' Esther objected.
'You can hang a sign on your door,' Simon suggested, 'giving them directions. Goodnight, pretty maidens.'
He made his exit before there could be any more discusнsion, and went to his bedroom.
The bedrooms trailed away from the house in a long L-shaped wing. Freddie's room was at the far end of the
