Ackie was coming down behind me. He had brought the bottle of Scotch, and every step down he took a quick drag at the bottle. He was getting cock-eyed as hell. I put Blondie down on a chair and took the bottle away from him. “Listen, you punk,” I said evenly, “you're supposed to be helpin' me. Will you get a grip on yourself an' help?”
“Sure,” he said, “sure... you don't have to worry.”
Blondie suddenly stretched out her legs and began to slide off the chair. We both stood staring at her, unable to move. Ackie said, in a quavering voice: “I don't think I'm goin' to stand a lot of this.”
Blondie sat down on the floor with a little bump and then flopped on her side. Her hat came off and one of her shoes.
Ackie sat on the stairs and hid his face. “I think I'll commit suicide,” he said.
When I straightened her out I found her muscles were hardening. “Quick, Mo,” I said, “she's gettin' stiff.”
Ackie got up and gave me her hat. “Maybe she'll be easier to handle that way,” he said hopefully.
I crammed, the hat on her head again. “Get hold of her knees... we'll never get her into the car.”
We carried her out into the dark night. I could only hear Ackie's heavy breathing and the sound of our feet crunching on the gravel. Overhead, the sky looked stormy. Big clouds raced across the face of the moon.
The car was a big six-seater, but it took us all our time getting her in. We got her fixed at last in the corner of the seat. In the dim light of the roof-lamp she looked good. No one would have known that she was dead.
Ackie said: “That's a swell job.”
“You stay here... I've got to get her shoe.”
“If you think I'm staying out with her alone you're barmy,” he said with great feeling. “We'll do this together or not at all.”
We turned out the light inside the car and went back inside the lodge.
“Before we go we'd better clean up this mess,” I said.
We did that. When we were through we had another drink and then turned out the lights and went out to the car.
“We'll toss who drives,” I said.
I won.
Ackie began to get in beside me. “You get in the back... that's why we tossed,” I said. “You see she doesn't fall over.”
“And I called you a pal of mine,” Ackie said. He stood hesitating, then he finally made up his mind. He opened the door and got in. “Now be a good girl,” he said to Blondie.
I engaged the gear and rolled the car down the drive.
Ackie said after a while: “She's sitting as quiet as quiet. I guess I could come on in the front.”
“You stay right there.”
“Listen, Bud, if I've gotta stay here I've got to have a drink. There's a pint just by your hand... pass it over.”
I groped around in the dashboard cupboard and found a bottle. I passed it over to him.
“You ain't got much gas,” I said, looking at the gauge. “That's careless of you, Mo. I shall have to stop and get some.”
Ackie didn't say anything for a minute... I guessed he was giving himself a shot. Then he said: “That's your funeral, Bud, me an' the girl friend'll leave all that to you.”
I said: “For Pete's sake keep as sober as you can.”
“If you were right here, you'd try an' get as tight as a tick... that's what keeps me from goin' crackers. How'd you like to be sitting next to a corpse? She's looking at me all the time. I'm tellin' you, this dame just can't see enough of me. It's givin' me the heebies.”
“Aw, shut up,” I said, and concentrated on the dark road. After a little while Ackie began to sing. I couldn't stand that. I took my foot off the gas-pedal and stamped on the brake. I twisted round in the seat. “For suffering in silence,” I said, “will you lay off it?”
“She likes it,” Ackie said. “You ask her an' see.”
I switched on the light inside the car. Ackie was crouched up on the far side away from Blondie, his face the colour of a fish's belly and his eyes popping. I reached out a hand and took the bottle away from him. He'd been working on it. There was only just one small drink left, and I had it. I tossed the bottle off the road.
“Take it easy,” I said; “for Pete's sake take it easy.”
“Sure... you just go on... we're fine here. I tell you we're fine.”
I started the car rolling again. The gas was getting low and I couldn't risk running out on a well-lit road. I'd have to take some on board at the nearest hick station.
I didn't have to go far before I sighted one. I slowed down.
“I've got to pull in for some gas,” I said. “Keep quiet an' don't start anything.”
“Start anything? Don't make me laugh. Blondie an' me are playin' at graves.”
