was getting somewhere. I remembered a few things, but they were so disjointed they didn’t
make sense.
An enormous fat woman with blonde hair floated into my mind, and then before I could
concentrate on her she turned into a sleek, ferocious lion that came rushing towards me with a
coughing, snarling roar. That mind picture brought me out of an uneasy doze, sweating and
scared. Had I been dreaming or had this fat woman and the lion actually played a part in those
missing days?
Then later I had a very clear mind picture of myself on the verandah of a beach cabin. I was
sitting in an armchair listening to the radio. I could hear the music distinctly, and although I
never listened to classical music, I somehow knew this was a symphony concert, and it was
by Beethoven. There was a blonde girl in a yellow swimsuit in the room. She kept coming
on to the verandah, wanting me to turn off the radio, but I wouldn’t let her. She said if the
music stopped she would take off her swimsuit. Wouldn’t I like that better than the music,
and I said no. She got angry and slapped my face. This picture appeared again and again in
my mind, but it didn’t mean anything to me.
I sat down on the uprooted tree and lit a cigarette. I tried to concentrate while I absorbed the
atmosphere of the thicket-I remembered the other car coming at us like a bat out of hell. I
remembered Della’s scream and the smash. I remembered grabbing hold of the dashboard as
the Bentley began to turn over. I closed my eyes. There had been a blinding white light, and
then darkness.
After a while I remembered a small wooden cabin, facing the sea. I could see it clearly in
my mind. It had a tin roof, and the front window was cracked. There was a split panel in the
front door.
77
This was new. This had happened after the smash II was sure of that. Excited by this
discovery, I jumped to my feet and looked around. There was a path through the palmettos,
leading to the beach. I set off, walking quickly, aware that the path seemed vaguely familiar. I
was pretty sure I had been this way before.
I came out of the thicket on to the sand dunes. The sea was in front of me. I stood looking
to right and left. There was no sign of any cabin. I was turning to walk to the right when I
changed my mind and walked instead to the left. I was like a blind man in a familiar room.
All I had to do was to obey my instincts, and I knew I should arrive at the cabin.
I walked for ten minutes along the beach before I saw it. It was exactly as I had pictured it
in my mind, with its tin roof and cracked window-pane.
There was an elderly man in the doorway, smoking. He had on a pair of dirty dungarees and
he was looking in my direction. There was a stiff alertness about him that told me I had
startled him.
“Morning,” I said as I drew near. “A lonely spot you’ve got here.”
He stared at me, his lined, weather-beaten face uneasy.
“Where did you spring from, mister?”
“I’ve been driving all night. I wanted to stretch my legs. Could I buy a cup of coffee off
you?”
“You can have a cup of coffee. I’ve just made some. I’ll bring it to you.” I sat down on a
wooden box and waited, I had an idea I had seen him before. He came out with two pint mugs
of steaming coffee. He kept staring at me while I drank.
“It’s a funny thing,” he said slowly, “but I’ve seen you somewhere before.”
“You’ve seen my brother,” I said, deciding this might be the best way to get the information
out of him. “He had a car smash not far from here on July 29th. Remember?”
He hurriedly shifted his eyes.
“I don’t know anything about a car smash.”
