Before you go to sleep, ask yourself if the world is better because of you. After all, it's your
world. You are the world.
Win said, If he breaks into a rendition of 'We Are the World,' I'm using my gun.
But you are your gun, Myron countered.
And he is my gun too.
Right.
Win considered that. So if he is my gun and my gun kills him, it's a suicide.
Take responsibility for your actions, Wells said. That's one of the Wells Rules for Wellness.
Take responsibility. Cher once said, 'Excuses won't lift your butt, 'kay?' Listen to that. Believe
that with all your heart.
The man was quoting Cher. The crowd was nodding. There is no God.
Confess something about yourself to a friend something awful, something you'd never want anyone to know. You'll feel better. You'll still see that you're worthy of love. And since your friend is you, you are really just telling yourself. Have an interest in everything. Thirst for knowledge. That's another rule. Remember that it's all about you. When you learn about other things, you are actually learning about yourself. Get to know you better.
Win looked at Myron, his face pained.
Let's wait outside, Myron said.
But luck was with them. Two sentences later Sawyer Wells was done. The crowd went ballistic.
They stood, they applauded, they hooted like an old Arsenio Hall audience.
Win shook his head. Four hundred dollars a pop.
That what this thing costs?
He is your money.
People approached the stage, stretching their hands toward the heavens in the vain hope that
Sawyer Wells might reach out and touch them. Myron and Win watched. The table with the
Wells paraphernalia was swarmed now like rotting fruit with buzzing flies.
The citified version of a tent revival, Win noted.
Myron nodded.
Eventually Sawyer Wells waved and ran offstage. The crowd continued to cheer and purchase.
Myron half expected a voice-over to announce that Elvis had left the building. Win and Myron
swam through the crowd.
Come, Win said. I have backstage passes.
Please tell me you're joking.
He wasn't. They actually said Backstage Pass on them. A plainclothes security guard scowled
at them and scrutinized the passes as if they were the Zapruder film. Satisfied, he let them past
the velvet rope. Yep, velvet rope. Sawyer Wells spotted Win and bounced toward them. So glad you could come, Win! He turned to Myron and stuck out his hand. Hi, I'm Sawyer Wells.
Myron shook it. Myron Bolitar.
Sawyer's smile flickered but stayed on. Nice to meet you, Myron.
Myron decided to try a frontal assault. Why did you fix Clu Haid's drug test so it would appear
he was taking heroin?
The smile was still there, but it wasn't sitting right. Pardon?
Clu Haid. The name ring a bell?
Of course. As I told Win yesterday, I worked very hard with him.
Worked how?
To keep him off drugs. I have an extensive background as a drug counselor. That's how I was
trained. To help addicts.
Not so different from what you're doing now, Myron said.
Pardon?
People with addictive personalities need an addiction. If it's not booze or drugs, maybe it's
religion or self-help mumbo jumbo. They're simply swapping addictions; we hope to one less
damaging.
Sawyer Wells overnodded. That's a really interesting viewpoint, Myron.
Gee, thanks, Sawyer.
I learned much about human frailty, about our lack of self-esteem, from addicts like Clu Haid.
As I said, I worked very hard with him. His failure hurt me greatly.
Win said, Because it was your failure.
Pardon?
You are everything, and everything is you, Win said. You are Clu Haid. He failed, ergo you
failed.
Sawyer Wells maintained the smile. But it was different when he looked at Win. His gestures
were tighter too, more controlled. He was one of those guys who tried to imitate the person with
whom he was conversing. Myron hated that. I see you came in at the end of my seminar, Win.
Did I misunderstand your message?
No, it's not that. But a man creates his own world. That's my point. You are what you create,
what you perceive. Take responsibility. That's the most important component of the Wells Guide to Wellness. You take responsibility for your own actions. And you admit fault. You know what the two most beautiful sentences in the world are?
Win opened his mouth, stopped, looked at Myron, shook his head. Too easy, he said.
I am responsible,' Sawyer continued. 'It's my fault.' He turned toward Myron. Say it,
Myron.
What?
Come on. It's exhilarating. Say, ? am responsible. It's my fault.' Stop passing the buck in your
life. Say it. Come on, I'll say it with you. Win, you too.
Myron and Sawyer said, I am responsible. It's my fault. Win remained silent.
Feel better? Sawyer said.
It was almost like sex, Myron said.
It can be powerful, yes.
Yeah, uh-huh. Look, Sawyer, I'm not here to critique your seminar. I want to know about Clu's
drug test. It was fixed. We have evidence that proves that fact. You helped administer that test. I
want to know why you made it look like Clu was on drugs.
I don't know what you're talking about.
The autopsy shows conclusively that Clu hadn't taken drugs for at least two months before his
death. Yet you tested him positive two weeks ago.
Maybe the test was faulty, Sawyer said.
Win tsk-tsked. Say, ? am responsible. It's my fault'
Stop passing the buck in your life, Myron added.
Come on, Sawyer. It's exhilarating.
That's not funny, Sawyer said.
Wait, Win said. You are everything, thus you are the drug test.
And you are a positive guy, Myron added.
Ergo the test result was positive.
Sawyer said, I think I've had just about enough.
You're finished, Wells, Myron said. I'll blab to the papers.
I don't know what you're talking about. I don't know anything about a fixed test.
Want to hear my theory? Myron said.
No.
You're leaving the Yankees and going to work for Vincent Riverton, right?
Tm not working exclusively for anyone. His conglomerate publishes my book.
He's also Sophie Mayor's archenemy.
