Deadly Beloved

doing Sinatra or Darin.

He said, “Tomorrow night, we’ll be in our honeymoon suite in Nassau. And I guarantee you it will be twice as nice as this.”

I shook my head, laughing harder at that than it deserved; with me, if champagne’s involved, I’m an easy audience.

“Fair enough,” I said.

I got up off the bed—the spread was blue and nubby, perfect for a teenage girl’s room in 1972—but doing so wasn’t easy, because of the tight-fitting wedding dress.

“Help me out of this,” I asked, turning my back on my husband.

“Uh,” he said, right behind me, “what do you women do with these things, once you’re done with them?”

I glanced over my shoulder at him. “If you mean, what do ‘we women’ do with old wedding dresses, well, we put ‘em in a trunk and don’t take ‘em out till the next wedding comes along.”

“Really.”

“Really.”

“Well, you’re never wearing that thing again.”

And I saw him grinning but not in time to stop him as he ripped the dress at the shoulders.

I wheeled, both shoulders bare, and stood looking at him, astounded and indignant and, goddamnit, amused.

“No you didn’t,” I said.

His head tipped to one side. “I’m pretty sure I did.”

He took me in his arms, firmly but not quite roughly, and kissed me.

I kissed him back, the lovable brute, and was still in his embrace when he dropped with me to the bed as if we were one, and I squealed and fought, but not much, as he fumbled and yanked and tore and finally worked what was left of the dress up over my legs and the old-fashioned garter belt that held up the sheer white nylons, exposing white panties.

If Norman Bates had been watching through the matador’s eyes, we’d have been a sight, I’m sure—Mike in his shorts and half a tux, me in the disarrayed remains of my wedding gown; but we were having too much fun to give a damn about how we looked, kissing each other feverishly in between laughter that was turning increasingly lustful.

Then he was climbing on top of me, and what happened next is as obvious as it is none of your business.

A single lamp was on in the dreary little room, on Mike’s nightstand.

He was in black pajama bottoms now, sitting up in bed, on top of the sheets and covers and the nubby blue spread. He was smoking a cigarette, reading one of half a dozen Nassau brochures that were spread over his tummy.

I was in the black top of the same pajamas, wearing the white panties that were the sole survivor of my wedding outfit, and was almost asleep, curled up next to the big lug.

“Turn that out,” I said sleepily but not grumpily.

“I’m planning our itinerary.”

“Plan it tomorrow....Please don’t smoke. Bad for you, baby....”

He stabbed his cigarette out in a glass tray that hadn’t been on that nightstand more than twenty-five years. The bedsprings told me he was getting out of bed before I noticed him doing it.

I looked over at him with half-lidded eyes.

He glanced back. “Thirsty,” he explained.

“ ’Cause you smoke! Duh.”

“That’s why I love you.”

“What is?”

“You worry about me.”

And he leaned over to give me a peck on the cheek.

Then I put a pillow over my head, to block out the light, as he went out.

About thirty seconds later, I removed the pillow, sat up, and reached over and shut off the nightstand lamp. The room was dark now, mostly, some of that red neon-tinged light slanting in from the door, which Mike had left ajar.

But I was happy. The light was no longer on my face, and I was quite confident he’d leave the lamp off when he returned, out of deference to his bride. I was just drifting off when the gunshot exploded the silence.

I sat upright, and another shot blammed.

Then I was off the bed but not out the door, de-touring to Mike’s bag, even as another gunshot split the night, and goddamn it, another.

Mike’s .45 automatic was in my hand as I quickly pushed out through that already-ajar door.

I saw the horrible tableau at once.

To the left of our room, down a couple of doors, Mike was sprawled on his back on the pavement near a Pepsi machine, his bare chest puckered with entry wounds and blood pooling beneath him, glistening with neon reflection.

Hovering over him was an unshaven, long-greasy-haired, wild-eyed lowlife in a leather biker jacket and frayed jeans and with a big, honking revolver in his hand.

I thought I recognized him—Hazen, Something Hazen...a punk Mike put away a long time ago, for killing a stripper with a wrench or some damn thing.

He hadn’t noticed me yet, too busy leaning over Mike’s body, ranting, “Son of a bitch! Son of a bitch! I said I’d shoot your ass and I did it! Son of a bitch!”

“Mike!”

Hazen turned and saw me running at him, a wide-eyed apparition in a black pajama top with a gun, ready to blast his evil ass to Kingdom Come.

And he started to flee, shooting back at me as he did, tossing off two quick rounds.

I didn’t bother ducking. He was firing wildly, the shots landing on either side of me, one kissing concrete, another thunking into a parked car. I ran and I aimed and I shot, the .45 report twice as loud in the night as his revolver.

But I didn’t hit him, either, and he ducked behind a car, one of half a dozen parked along this row of motel rooms.

I wasn’t quite running now, more striding, and it was cold out but colder within: frozen with shock and rage, I was moving in a straight line toward the son of a bitch....

Then Hazen popped out to take a shot at me, but he didn’t get it off, because I shot first— damn!—narrowly missing him.

I was almost on top of him now, and he went scrambling out from behind his car to the next one down, and again tried to pop up and shoot at me.

My shot nicked his ear and he howled and ducked down behind a parked car.

Two cars between me and him.

Fuck it.

I got up on top of the nearest parked car and my bare feet made burps in the metal as I stalked across the hood of one, then hopped to the next, and when Hazen popped up from behind the next car down, he had me looking down at him and I was smiling something too terrible to really be called a smile as I sighted the .45 at his ugly head.

His revolver swung up, but it was way too late.

The .45 split the night and Hazen’s skull and he flopped back, leaving a cloud of blood mist.

I gazed down at the dead piece of shit, flung onto the sidewalk, his eyes wide open and looking back up at me, but not really.

Somehow I climbed down off the car. When the pavement was under my feet, I started to run, to run back to my husband, sweeping past various motel rooms, people in underwear or pajamas in doorways, peeking out cautiously, but I barely saw them.