Dead Guilty

He formed his hands into a steeple and looked very uncomfortable.

‘‘Diane, I don’t want you to take this the wrong way.’’

‘‘Douglas, I pride myself in always taking things the right way.’’

He was taken aback for a moment. He looked at Diane as if there might be some coded message in what she said. Or perhaps it was her uncustomary use of his first name. But he was making this sound like a trip to the principal’s office, and she was going to stay on equal footing.

‘‘Yes, of course. It’s come to my attention . . .’’ He paused.

Come to his attention. Hadn’t she had this conversa tion before . . . with the mayor? Perhaps that’s why he looked so uncomfortable.

‘‘Appearances are very important.’’

Okay, she thought, am I not wearing enough makeup...too much?

‘‘Yes, appearances are important, among many things.’’

‘‘What I mean is, when you get on the witness stand, you must not only be above reproach, but appear to be above reproach.’’

‘‘Like Caesar’s wife.’’

‘‘Who?’’

‘‘Never mind. Is there something you’re trying to say?’’

‘‘Defense attorneys look for the least sign of impro priety to impugn the character of a witness in order to win a case.’’

‘‘Some do. Where are we going with this con versation?’’

‘‘It has come to my attention that you are...’’ Garnett seemed to be searching for the right words. ‘‘. . . Dating men half your age.’’

Diane threw back her head and laughed—which did bewilder Garnett. He looked at her with a frown. She hardly knew where to begin her response to such an asinine statement.

‘‘I won’t even address the point of view that a woman dating younger men somehow impugns her character. I’ll simply cut to the truth of what has come to your attention. Frank Duncan is two years older than I am. Now, I realize that spending all that time in the jungle sun put a few wrinkles on my face that I wish I didn’t have, but really, Douglas, I don’t think I look almost eighty.’’

Garnett opened his mouth, then closed it and opened it again. ‘‘I don’t mean Frank.’’

‘‘He’s the only man I’m dating.’’

‘‘You’ve been seen having a romantic dinner with a much younger man who works for you.’’

Garnett settled back in his chair and from the look on his face, he did realize how ridiculous it sounded for him to call her into his office for such a nebulous thing. She was sure when it was reported to him, prob ably through Izzy’s boss, it came out something like she was some slut robbing a cradle, putting moves on her underlings.

‘‘Define romantic.’’

‘‘Well, romantic, candlelight...’’

‘‘I think I see where this originated. I ate dinner with one of the geologists who works in the museum. We belong to the same caving club and we were dis cussing caving business. The restaurant was the one at the museum. It’s on the same floor as my office, and I use it frequently. In the evening all the tables have candles. It never occurred to me to blow it out, but then I’d have been sitting in the dark.

‘‘If your informant had seen me a week earlier, he’d have seen me having dinner in the candlelight with my head conservator, who’s about the same age as the geologist. However, he’s black and has dreadlocks, so I suppose that would have caused quite a stir with your informant. A month ago, I had lunch with one of the docent interns. He’s nineteen. One of the chil dren in his party hid in the museum and he couldn’t find him for an hour. It upset him greatly, and I had to calm him down. We ate lunch on the terrace, so that could have been construed as romantic. About once every two weeks I have lunch or dinner with my archaeologist, and we often play chess together. Of course, he is much older than me and I suppose the reversal of ages doesn’t impugn my character, so my association with him doesn’t count.

‘‘Douglas, I have had dinner or lunch with over half the people I work with. I’m head of the museum, and it is not a nine-to-five job for anyone. We often work over dinner. I will not stop interacting with my employees because it offends some busybody’s sense of propriety. If it comes up in court, I will handle it.’’

Diane had managed to keep her voice calm and even during her whole diatribe. When she finished, Garnett sat for a long moment without speaking.

‘‘I think I was probably misinformed,’’ he said.

‘‘Is that the only reason you wanted to see me?’’

‘‘We’re under a lot of pressure to make our crime lab work. I was just doing a little troubleshooting be fore anything got out of hand.’’

‘‘Our crime lab is functioning superbly. I think what is out of hand is gossipmongers and passive-aggressive bullies. I think you had better turn your attention to your stationhouse staff, who all appear to be preoccu pied with pettiness and character assassination, and ask yourself why they are failing in their surveillance duties.’’ Diane paused a moment. ‘‘If you can’t tell, this makes me very angry.’’

‘‘I can see.’’

‘‘No...I mean it makes me really angry.’’

‘‘I don’t doubt you.’’